And The Saints Came Marching In
by YLover
Summary: Beth was taken from the funeral home and now her only goal? Not to die and to find the rest of her family from the prison. Things don't go quite right when help arrives in the form of gun wielding strangers with names she can almost remember. Something about Saints, so they had to be ok right?
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Fanfiction in a looonnnggg time so I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. This IS a crossover with The Boondock Saints that I didn't want to place in the crossover section (didn't look like it had a lot of activity over there) Things in this chapter are shaky and if anyone would like to beta or even just do a quick proof read of coming chapters that would be a HUGE help the likes of which you have no idea. I own freakin' nothing! And let me tell you many tears have been shed over that fact. So please enjoy or not, I accept all reviews even if they are tearing me a new one telling me how bad I suck, because then at least I know! So yea… on with the show I guess. **

**I don't want to die…**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

I don't want to die… It's amazing how one little though could overshadow anything else. I don't want to die…not like this…

Since the end of the world I figured I'd die the not so pleasant death of being eaten by walkers. And then Shane Walsh killed Otis. He thought he had gotten away with it; that no one would ever know. But I knew. Every time Otis' name was mentioned that same nasty light would come into his eyes, the same awful smile that he would try and pass off as a grimace. But I knew, and so did Dale, and looking back Daryl probably knew too. That first night before they even left to try for the supplies I knew I didn't like him. From how he treated Rick, who was obviously just a Dad terrified his son was going to die, to that stupid little smirk I wanted to slap off his face when he was talking of getting the equipment necessary, the one that said he was going to be the reason the boy lived, not his father. It was the same night when he came back alone, a terrible, mean, and crazed look in his eyes that I decided he was a man to be afraid of. I wanted to scream over his eulogy for Otis, the only thing keeping me back being poor Patricia, she didn't deserve that blow, and Daddy. He would have kicked them off the farm the second he believed it. While Shane was horrible the others in the group seemed like good people and I didn't want to be the reason they would have to go face more of the dead.

Daddy, bless his soul, had faith from the start that it was just a virus, that it could be cured. I knew he had Momma and Seth in the barn, and any of the neighbors he found wandering the property. I had watched Otis for weeks as he would bring them to the barn after they were stuck in the swamp like ditch that ran through the woods. There would be no cure. I don't think anyone has ever asked if I thought the same as the rest of our group from the farm. I was with them so I must believe it to. And then Shane The Terrible opened the barn… They thought I tried to kill myself because I had hope that my Mom was still able to be brought back. No. I just realized how little I wanted to die by being torn to pieces and eaten alive. I didn't want my last moments being filled with the fear I felt when my own mothers corpse rose up and tried to eat my face. I admit now I didn't really think that through. Thinking back and knowing if I had actually succeeded I likely would have killed what family I had left chilled me to the bone. I may never like that Lori interfered with what I thought I wanted at the time, but I would forever be grateful.

And then Randall… I kept my mouth shut about Shane because of the rest of the group. They all seemed to give me a reason not to say anything. Carl was such a sweet boy who was now grieving the loss of his friend. Lori was pregnant now, Maggie, though only knowing him for such a short time, would have been devastated if Glenn was forced to leave with the rest, or if he left voluntarily. Carol had lost her child, and Dale was a good man that simply would **not** survive long if forced back onto the road. Andrea had been the only one to give me the choice I so desperately thought I wanted, was probably one of the only people on the farm who understood why I wanted to die. I hadn't really gotten to know much about T-dog or Daryl at that point but it still didn't seem right that they should have to leave because one guy was psycho. But couldn't _**any**_ of them make anything easy. Towards the end I was almost starting to feel sorry for the poor idiot locked in the shed, not knowing what they were going to do with him had to be worse than if they had just outright said they would kill him. Then again if he would have never opened his big mouth and said he knew Maggie he probably would have lived. But then if he had lived would he have brought the rest of his group to our doorstep. I may not have known Daryl at all then but the look on his face when he told Rick the things the group had done…well be eaten alive or gang raped, left for dead, and THEN eaten alive. Never before the outbreak had I really thought I could be a person who actively said "This guy is dangerous, the only way he wont be is if he's dead, so he needs to be dead."

That's the problem with being kidnapped. I have entirely too much time to sit and think. I don't dare think about what's to come when they decided I've been left alone long enough. And as hard as I try I can't seem to remember anything BEFORE the outbreak. I just can't help but think maybe, somewhere, I should have gone left instead of right and I wouldn't be here now. Who knew by the tender age of 18 I, Beth Greene, would be wishing with every fiber of my being to either open my eyes to a prison cell or the sight of a couple of arrows in the heads of the three men practically lounging by their fire.

Two days of driving and I'm sure they've run out of gas. When they had pulled to the side of the road earlier that morning and marched me into the woods I had briefly thought of trying to run but quickly decided that would just get me dead faster. They kept my hands tied behind me with blood stained rope (still trying not to think about where the blood came from before it was used on me) and led me like a dog through the trees with another that hung around my neck. I had no weapons, was outnumbered, and had no idea what direction to go in even if I could run. I stayed quiet and just tried to remember which way back to the road. Thankfully they didn't go far into the woods before deciding to set up camp. They had taken the rope from around my neck and retied my hands so they were in front of me before looping the piece that they used as a leash around the tree and to my hands, bringing them to my chest. I had really wanted to kick one of them but refrained. Maybe if I had spent a bit more time alone with Daryl I could have done it and said fuck the consequences, but that stupid thought wouldn't leave me alone.

I don't want to die.

I couldn't wiggle the rope enough to sit down without tearing my back open against the bark, and shy of screaming at the top of my lungs I couldn't think of a better way to announce to a walker "HEY I'M OVER HERE PLEASE COME EAT ME!" then bleeding all over the place. So I stood as still as I could, trying to think of anything besides what they were going to do to me, and prayed. God may have been ignoring a lot of prayers lately but that was his thing right? God has a plan and we all play a part. Just like our jobs back at the prison. We can't stop, just because were scared, we have a part to play.

My captors didn't spend much time on securing our makeshift campsite and a steady cold chill was running down my spine at the thought of walkers popping out of nowhere in the night because these idiots couldn't be bothered to set up any kind of alarm. Thoughts of dead flesh and dull teeth were almost enough for me to draw attention to myself except I wanted to put off the moment they remembered I was there for as long as possible. For all my talk of good people still being left in the world getting kidnapped right after was shaking my faith. I know I can't trust _these_ men but could I trust no one? If I actually got away, from both my unwanted companions and the walkers, could I trust the next people I could come across? Using the questions the council at the prison had thought of just didn't seem like enough anymore. Daryl had spoken very briefly about how Bob was out on runs just to fuel his apocalypse induced alcoholism, and I was the only one who knew Zack, poor Zack, had been deep in drug running for a minor mafia Family out of Atlanta. They were with us. They worked beside us, slept in cells just halls away and no one bothered to ask about their pasts beyond if they had killed anyone and why. If any of the run parties had found these men before the Governor returned and asked them if they had killed would they have said yes? No? _For all I know they've never killed anyone, just abducted, raped, and left them for the walkers._ Just the thought was making my empty stomach heave. _Right happy thoughts Beth! Getting out of this alive! Finding Daryl! Finding Maggie, finding everyone! Not dying…_

And right back to square one. I don't want to die. Settling myself as comfortably as I can against the bark rough on my back from where my shirt had torn when I'd been grabbed outside the funeral home I glared at the men seated around their fire like they owned the world. My ankle throbbed painfully under my weight and I tried getting even an inch lower to get some pressure off it even as I felt small lines of blood trickle down my shoulders. It wasn't enough to draw a walker to the site but still stung, it was enough though that could balance better with just the one foot.

Thankfully assholes 1, 2, and 3 all completely ignored me, not that I really thought that would last too long. They were eventually going to look in my direction and I was still at an utter loss as to what to do about it. Screaming felt like what I'd want to do but that would just bring walkers. Fighting back didn't really seem to be in my favor either, even if I could get them one on one. _I guess Daryl wasn't totally off base when he said I needed protecting. _Was it really her fault that Maggie got all the ass kicking genes in the family though?

A twig snapped somewhere off to the left drawing all four pairs of eyes in that direction. Asshole 1, a beast of a man with blonde hair almost brunette with dirt, tattoos over almost all of his exposed skin except his face, wielding what looked like a metal bat wrapped in barbed wire and exposed nails, was the first to get up and wander towards the noise. Asshole 2 didn't seem very concerned and continued what he had been doing, digging though one of the packs they had removed from the car, and finally hitting pay dirt if the satisfied "Hell yea" that I picked up was anything to go by. When his hand reemerged wrapped around the neck of what I can only assume was alcohol I couldn't help the eye roll. Ok so yea I might have dragged Daryl around looking for booze just a few days ago but I figured things couldn't get any worse from that point and Daryl himself hadn't been dealing with the fall of the prison that well. Withdrawn and moody; which ok isn't all that weird for him; but the levels he was taking it to had been too much. If it was going to be just the two of us and he was gonna be like that then why shouldn't I have been allowed a little bit of teenage rebellion? Besides getting through to Daryl, and feeling closer to him then the entire time we'd known each other was worth it, and burning the shitty little shack was just plain fun after all the horror and death of the few days before it. I'd bet bullets Asshole 2 hadn't just watched a madman massacre his family though. His back was still to me leaving only Douchebag, because asshole was getting old for all of them, left to really look at.

Like looking at him was what he was waiting for his greasy head whipped in my direction and as if they were magnets my eyes met his and it was like I was looking into the future. I could see everything he wanted to do to me in his deranged mind. No this man wouldn't kill me, he'd be the one to keep me just alive enough to wish I was dead though. I never had the opportunity to see the Governor up close but I bet his eyes looked like that. It was like I couldn't look away, felt like the second I did he would be on me and it would be worse than anything I had thought till then. My heart felt like it was going to punch a hole in my chest and my lungs couldn't get enough air, I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't look away. I was starting to see spots before another, much louder, noise broke over the camp.

It must have been a walker in the woods and it didn't sound like Asshole 1 was up for the job of getting rid of it. An old panic over road whatever held my eyes to the last man. What if it wasn't just one? If a herd was passing through and these men left me tied to this damn tree I would have no way to fight or run. Even if I wasn't mauled to death any bite would turn me eventually, and then I would be Walker Beth Queen of this damned _TREE_. Would anyone ever find me? Would they put me down? Just like I didn't want to die I really didn't want to be Queen of the Tree either. Better to be dead then a walker. In the midst of my panic the two left at the fire started arguing over who should go check on Asshole 1, the noise was getting louder and bound to draw more attention. Asshole 2 didn't want to go and leave his bottle and Douchebag wasn't backing down, glancing my way every couple of seconds. I wanted Asshole to win. Not that he likely wouldn't do anything Douchebag would, he just seemed like the lessor of two evils.

Dull 'thunks' were coming from the direction Asshole 1 went only closer now. Either one of them had to go help or the fight was going to make it to the camp. Asshole 2 gave up his fight and grabbed a machete that had been sitting next to him, quickly disappearing into the woods. I could feel panic trying to claw its way back into my mind and tried to stomp it down, to think clearly, as Douchebag didn't even wait for him to be gone before making his way over to me. Adrenalin blindsided me as it flooded my system. My body wanted to know what to do, fight or flight. To bad I didn't know the answer…

In the span of seconds it took for him to reach me he had produced a knife I bet even Daryl would have been impressed with. Struggling to breathe, let alone move, it's like my eyes couldn't decide what was more important to keep track of, the knife or the man wielding it's dark eyes that felt like they could cut me just as surely as the knife could. His hand fisting a chunk of my hair and dragging my head back painfully took the decision away, eyes it was. His breath in my face was enough to me gag and try and rip my head from his grip, my stomach rolling unpleasantly and the burn of acid strong in my throat. The hand didn't let me get far and only released me long enough to backhand me in the head before returning its punishing grip in my hair. As soon as his fist landed the spots from before became stars and the pain was enough for me to cry out softly.

Fight or flight. I don't want to die…

The knife was back in my field of vision as he dragged it up the left side of my shirt, ripping it farther and leaving it hanging open on that side. I kicked out with good foot not hoping for much more then gaining myself a few inches from my attacker, maybe just a few seconds to get enough of a grip on myself to make a difference. It was like he didn't even feel the toe of my boot making contact with his shin and now I was left to balance with nothing but the fist in my hair and my sprained ankle that quickly gave out and left me dangling by the hair. I still didn't think I was breathing but the scream tore out of my lungs before I even fully registered the knife slipping and cutting through the flesh right above my pant line. It felt like white hot fire in my blood and even as I felt my body going into shock; because really after that kind of pain this numbness could only be shock. Two days I had gone without food or water. Two days I went terrified of sleep. Two days of constant gut-wrenching fear. And now I was bleeding, could feel it quickly soaking through the fabric of my jeans, could taste it in my mouth, the smell of it overpowering even Douchebags horrendous odor. Distantly I could hear him laughing, it was a rough, mean sounding noise. The spots were back, covering even more of my vision as his filthy face loomed into mine, taunting me.

The rope keeping me tethered to the tree came loose and before the thought even had time to fully form I drew my knees to my chest, using the tree and my enemies weight to keep me level and kicked out as hard as I could. He went down hard, dragging me to the ground with him by the hair. That was all it took for everything to click back into place in my brain. This guy was going to rape and torture me if I didn't do something. And now I wasn't tied to the tree I **could** do something. Scrambling to get as far away from him as I could, I tried to make it to my feet and even managed to get several yards away before a hand grabbed me from behind and pulled me to a body just behind me.

The smell hit my nose and the mouth coming down to my face was rotted away and missing flesh on the right side. I dropped my weight to the ground trying to get away from the teeth that would try and make a meal of me. The walker had to be older because it seemed confused as to where its food disappeared to just long enough for me to roll to the side and kick out again taking out its far knee cap. The rotting corpse of what maybe was a good looking man in life fell to the forest floor and immediately turned back to her, arms reaching to drag her back to his chomping mouth. The spots were getting worse again and my whole body felt like I was trying to move underwater now but I had to get away. A hand composed of mostly bone locked around the cuff of my boot on my injured foot and tried to pull me closer and I just couldn't get my foot loose. My heart felt like it was in my throat, blood pounded in my head in a frantic beat, breathing felt like inhaling knives to my lungs and the teeth just kept getting closer.

The snarling stopped abruptly, helped along by the buck knife now deeply imbedded in its skull. Before I could even think past "it didn't bite me" large hands shoved at my shoulders pushing me roughly back to the ground. A fist closely followed, aimed this time to my wounded stomach. The gash who's importance had vanished with the appearance of walkers was back at the top of the list now. Trying to roll away I was stopped again by an arm being pressed to my throat and the rest of my shirt being ripped from my shoulders. Seconds later my legs were pinned as the evil _**thing**_ above me leveled down and brought the knife to the waist of my jeans again, this time slicing through them like they weren't even there, and I was done. I couldn't stay awake for this, I didn't want to. I didn't want to die but I didn't want to live through this either, didn't want to wake up and feel it all, know what happened, just for the other two to get back and repeat the process over again.

Finally succumbing to the darkness that had been threatening for hours I felt as my body went limp. Felt the jerking of my jeans as they were completely torn from my body down to the knees. Felt his hands as they grabbed and pulled and _hurt_ everything they touched on my body. And almost as suddenly as it all began it stopped. Barely conscious, what breath I still had was driven out of my lungs as the assault stopped and he slumped down on top of me, his entire body dead weight. Words whispered around me. Something about hands and rivers and souls but I was too far gone to understand. For now I was willing to be satisfied with the neat little bullet hole in the middle of my would have been rapists head. I closed my eyes and prayed the other two assholes that had grabbed me were dead too.


	2. Warm Cuddly Feelings

**I SWEAR THIS IS A QUICK A/N:**

**My timeline for both TBS and TWD are just a little different**

**The Boondock Saints: The boys are a little younger (24 not 26) in the first movie and the 8 years between when they're in Ireland is now only 2 so they are only just now 26 in this story. I needed them closer to Beths age.**

**The Walking Dead: I'm rounding up the time since the outbreak for a final time of 2 years so far. In the show its been about a year and a half but I felt like the second half of season 4 was kinda rushed time span wise. People got to Terminus a lot slower in this story, and Beth and Daryl were together alone for a few weeks (about 3) before she was taken.**

**Other then that there are no other major changes to anything. I live for reviews and would love to know what people think or if they think I've missed something or am just totally off base. Or even if its just to let me know you liked it! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: Warm Cuddly Feelings**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

The steady crackling of a fire somewhere nearby was the first thing to let me know I was still alive. The ground beneath me felt hard on my back and I'm pretty sure there is a rock poking me in the lower spine but it wasn't enough to make me move. Nothing besides the fire was making any sound but I didn't want to open my eyes. The pain that was quickly registering across my body let me know the last few days weren't some horrible nightmare. The line of fire along my lower stomach was proof the monster with twisted eyes existed and that he had almost raped and likely killed me.

The tiniest pop, mean unseeing eyes, a neat little bullet hole dead center on a forehead stained with fresh blood. My blood. Douchebag was dead. Unless that part was a dream. The whole thing was just easier to think about if I had that to hold onto so I tried to keep my breathing slow and steady against the rising pain and figure out if Assholes 1 and 2 had made it. Were they the ones to put a bullet in their friend? Had I been wrong about them? I really didn't think so but if it wasn't them then that meant I was even less alone then before. _My luck cannot be so terrible that I get rescued from one group of kidnappers by another one can it?_

I tried to shift in a way that both looked like I was still sleeping and wouldn't cause my entire body to rebel against the movement. As I did I noticed I wasn't as naked as I last remembered being. I was sure my shirt was nothing better than blood drenched rags now and I defiantly remembered my jeans going in much the same way, also courtesy of Douchebags buck knife. But as I settled more firmly on my right side I could feel soft wool, heavy against my abused torso.

Knowing I wasn't going to get any answers laying there with my eyes closed sure seemed like a good enough reason to stop playing possum but I didn't think I could face it if the other two had come back.** "**_**Common Beth. Ya wont know what ya gotta do unless ya open yer eyes. Don' be a coward!"**_When the hell my inner cheering squad turned into Daryl I don't really want to know. But to give the man credit he's effective even when he's not there. So shoving the fear of the unknown into a mental box and giving it a few extra mental kicks for good measure I slowly cracked one eye open just enough to make out the fire merrily crackling along just a few feet from where I was laying. Still trying not to draw attention from anyone who may be watching I opened it just a little further and looked as far as I could in either direction. Still seeing nothing but the fire and deciding it would be safe enough to open both eyes I was able to tell I had been moved. The camp the men had set up would have had to be drenched in walker blood, and my own, and there was no sign of either. The fire was also much smaller and just at the edge of the tree line I could make out tin cans and other assorted trash hanging between the trees and bushes. Already this camp was a thousand times better than the last one; whoever set it up didn't want to be snuck up on.

Still not seeing anyone I took the opportunity to appreciate that I was still alive, even if in excruciating pain, and didn't appear to have been raped. Small things in the grand scheme of being kidnapped, attacked, rescued, and currently facing the complete unknown with virtually no way of ever finding my family again. I'd take it in the long run even if it did make me want to cry. Looking down the length of my body I realized I had been covered by a black wool coat that reached almost to my knees. The fabric was the kind of soft that only came after years of use and smelled of gun powder and cigarette smoke but otherwise appeared to be well taken care of.

Trying to rise into a sitting position brought to my attention how badly I must have been sliced. Raising as much as I could I managed to put the coat on without actually taking it off and ran my hand softly over the pristine white bandage that practically consumed the left side of my stomach. Just based on the care taken in dressing the injury I was confident in thinking the other two men who had taken me from Daryl weren't around anymore. Whether they were dead or not I'm positive they would not have bothered to save my life let alone cover me. I could feel the stiches, that must have been put in while I was unconscious, pull as I tried to sit again and quickly gave up on that. Someone went through the trouble of saving my life in more ways than one and I could only hope that meant they weren't planning on wasting their own supplies and effort.

Between the coat and the fire though I was starting to get over heated. I wasn't going to let go of my only link to modesty which left trying to get away from the fire. Leaning up again I'm able to get my arms into position to take the majority of my weight. Sucking in a lungful of air, like it was going to do me any good, I pitched my body to try and roll to my stomach. Even that little bit though highlighted every painful bruise and stinging scrape. The pain was enough that all I wanted was to curl in a ball and cry but there was Daryl in my head again telling me to** "**_**Suck it up girl! I got back up a damn cliff with a bolt in my side you can git to yer damn feet!"**_and really his voice had no right to be that clear with the almost blinding headache that was building alongside the pain. It was enough to get me on my hands and knees though even if I felt tears burning like fire down my face.

Pushing against the pain I tried to focus on what I had to do. My job is to get away from this stupid fire. That means I have to stand. Keeping that goal in mind, what realistically probably only took a few minutes felt like hours, as I pushed my abused body to its feet. Panting like I'd just run a marathon I allowed myself a moment of pride that I knew I'd have never made it to my feet in this condition before the farm was overrun.

My victory didn't last long though. As soon as my full weight rested on my sprained ankle I knew I was going back down. Before I'd had the chance to drop more than a few inches though strong arms caught me around the waist and held me steady. I didn't stop to think before I tried to struggle out of the strangers grip. It didn't really matter if it was or wasn't my other two abductors I didn't know them and they needed to let me go NOW! Only the threat of more walkers being in the area stopped me from screaming. The arms quickly withdrew but hands stayed holding my arm on the left, and through the haze of panic that erupted when I was first grabbed me I could tell they weren't trying to hurt me just keep me from falling.

"Calm down girl! 'M not tryin' ta hurt ye! Ye shouldn' be standin' yet though, tha asshole really dida number on yer belly."

It was like water dousing flames. The voice was close but I trusted it almost instantly. _Great Beth now your judging whether someone's trustworthy just because they have a sexy voice. Real smart! _And there really was no good reason not to admit that much in my own mind. Regardless he was outright saying he didn't want to hurt me, and was even possibly the person who killed the man who hurt me in the first place. It sure didn't sound like he held warm cuddly feelings for him at least.

Stopping mid wriggle (God I'm reduced to wriggling! Maggie would just **love** that) I surprised myself when a soft laugh that was more a sigh then anything tore from my chest. "He was Douchebag. The other two were Asshole 1 and 2." Letting my weight redistribute properly again I tried to turn to see my very obviously Irish, if the accent was anything to go by, savior. About halfway through I regretted it as what had to be every stitch used to sew me up pulled painfully and left me gasping for air. The arms returned and held me around the ribs and into a warm chest and through the blood pounding in my ears I could make out soothing noises and assurance that I'd be ok, and more in what I hoped was another language otherwise the hit to my head was worse than I thought. With my head hanging down as it was as I tried to curl into myself I tried to distract myself by studying the intricate cross tattooed over the man's arm. The detail in it was truly remarkable and must have taken a great deal of time. I could feel my breathing slow as I diligently traced the tiny network of knots and lines that made the interior of the cross. Finally the pain dulled enough that I risked looking up, straight into clear blue eyes, full of concern and a slight twinge of panic. I could taste the tears on my face and tried to not think about how awful I likely looked, sure there was a huge bruise covering my face if the swelling I felt was anything to go by. "I think I'm ok now."

"Aye, but then yer the one who thought standin' was good idea too so 'm not so sure I can trust ye." I could still see some of the tension leave his eyes and his arms felt a little less like steel bars against my ribs. "What tha hell'd ye think ye were tryin' ta do anyway?" he asked as he helped me stand straighter and turned us towards the fire.

"I was hot and didn't want to take off the coat." I replied cringing back from the heat that had drove me to my feet in the first place. "Who are you?" I couldn't take being around strangers anymore and figured at this point I couldn't afford not to beat around the bush. Just because someone seemed ok on the outside didn't mean they weren't a monster. Andrea was dead because the Governor seemed like an "Ok guy" too, hell the guy even convinced an entire group of people who'd never met us they needed to kill us. That it was a good idea to kidnap an old man and woman. That the old man deserved- No! Just because someone looked like they wouldn't hurt you didn't mean anything anymore. Screw the councils three questions, I want this guys life history. "Did you shoot…" I really wanted answers but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. Even in this new world it felt wrong for me to be so blunt and ask "Were you the guy that shot the guy about to rape me?" The words had tasted like acid in my throat and I could only hope Mr. Irish got the point.

He didn't answer right away but helped me limp my way to a fallen tree a bit farther from the heat of the fire and helped me to sit against it without hurting myself again. When I was fully settled he took a few short steps back and pulled a cigarette and lighter from the back pocket of jeans that had seen better days. Lighting it quickly and taking more time to take a long drag he ran a hand through slightly shaggy dirty blonde hair that looked like it could have used a wash about a week ago. Not that I suppose I'd have looked any better even if my clothes hadn't been ripped to shreds. The last time I'd had the chance to do more than wash my arms and face in a puddle had been almost a week before we had found the funeral home. Studying him I could tell he wasn't nervous, more like frustrated. What did they think I wouldn't ask any questions?

Finally his eyes met mine again. "No I didn' shoot 'im. Muphy, my brudder got there first. Not tha I wouldn'ta. And I'm Connor, we got two others, tha Mexican is Romero and tha other ones Duffy. We're na lookin' ta do anythin' like them bastards tha had ya either." The cold look and fierce way he said the last was defiantly a point in his favor. It still wasn't a good idea to trust him completely but it helped ease the fear a little bit. "'M sorry we wern' there sooner. We were on tha road when ya musta screamed, an' yer Assholes 1 an' 2 wern' to happy ta see us."

If this guy was acting he deserved an award. I was also happy that he wasn't just answering the questions asked but actually offering up information like he was trying to show he had nothing to hide. It was enough that I figured I wasn't in immediate danger with him at least. "Where's the rest of your group?" I knew I had to ask the next question, but I wasn't sure what I wanted the answer to be. "Do you know where we are?" I couldn't have said it in much more then a whisper but I could tell he heard it all the same. His eyes darted away and a vaguely panicked look crossed his face before he could hide it.

Still looking slightly uneasy he sought out my eyes with his again before he answered. "Tha other three are around. Murphs makin' sure dere aren't anymore dead ones around, and tha other two wen' ta try an' find ye some clothes. Do ye know where ye _supposed_ ta be?" I'm pretty sure he was doing his best to avoid my other question. I guess if he thought they didn't take me far that it would be less upsetting. Too bad where I'm supposed to be got blown to hell by a madman.

"My group was inna prison just a little ways outta Newnan. We got attacked and scattered, pretty sure Daryl and I wound up closer to Newnan though, either that or we got as far as Peachtree." Even the short hand version made me feel hollow inside, though several weeks had passed even thinking about that day was enough to straighten my spine in anguish and fury. I could only hope someone at the prison was able to take out the Governor before we were forced to run. I know I saw Rick in the field with him beating the hell out of each other. And Michonne was nearby as well. I didn't really see her leaving without killing the man.

"We're really na from around here, don' really know where tha' is. Righ' now we're 'bout hundred miles northa' Atlanta. Thas where we're headed."

The little bubble of hope I'd tried to keep alive felt like a lead ball in the pit of my stomach now. They'd taken me over a hundred miles away from the last place I'd seen any of my family alive. If Daryl had looked for me there was no way he'd have been able to make it this far on foot alone, and his chances weren't much better even if he had found a working car. The last bit of what Connor said sank in after a moment though and I felt bad I was going to probably burst his hope bubble right back. "You don't wanna go to Atlanta. A lot of my group had come from there before we met. It's gone. The walkers have overrun it and our last run group that tried to go back a few months ago said it was just as bad still. And if you're not from around here why are you here?"

I had noticed his expression getting steadily more anxious as I told him the city was lost. Just the look at the word overrun was like I'd physically attacked him. "I'm sorry. Was there someone there you knew?"

His face settled into resignation, something I could relate to all too well. "Aye. A few good friends. A FBI Agent an' a Detective. Boston wen' quick an' Smecker took Dolly ta Atlanta tryin' ta get answers. CDC was sayin' they were close to a cure." His expression changed to something more closely resembling stern. "An' don' think I don' realize ye didn' say how far ye are from wherever ye were callin' home."

Doing some quick mental math brought back that lead feeling. "Well if we're about a hundred miles north of Atlanta- WOAH wait a second! Did you say Boston? As in Massachusetts? That's over a thousand miles in a straight shot!" Who the hell were these people if they made that trip with only four of them?

Even as I asked the question words whispered in my mind again. _Power..swift feet and commands. Rivers and souls…_ And like the first time I thought I heard the words they seemed hauntingly familiar. Like I'd heard it all before, I just couldn't figure out where or if it was even important.

Smirking a little bit now, like he knew I was impressed, he nodded once. "Aye, Boston as in Massachusetts. We waited ta see if they were commin' back. They been gone fer months now though. We were runnin' out of supplies an' by the sounds of it Boston wasn' much better than yer Atlanta. CDC's still got ta be standin' though right? Place is supposed ta be built like a fuckin' fortress."

I really wish this guy would get with the program. He and his friends had saved my life and at this point the only thing I'd done to return the favor was give them bad news. "No the CDC is gone to… Those people who were in the city? That was their last stop before they left. They told us, there was only one scientist left and he admitted he was nowhere close to a cure. I think Rick told my Dad the guy said France thought they were close before they ran outta power. That's what happened." One perfect eyebrow rose in question. "To the CDC I mean. The group got out just a few seconds before the whole building self-destructed. I guess it was some sort of safety thing to keep all the germs in."

At this point he was still standing and the headache I'd had since opening my eyes was quickly getting worse again having to look up at him. I think he may have seen my eyebrow twitch in annoyance. Why couldn't the guy just sit down already? His continued standing was beginning to make me nervous again too. If anything happened he was in the much better position.

Almost like he was reading my thoughts he swiftly sank to the ground and leaned to the side of a stump, what was probably left of the tree trunk I was leaning against. The motion however caused his coat, identical to the one I was wearing like a dress, to fold open a bit and revealed the holster wrapped around him and the guns resting inside it. Realistically I knew they had to be somewhere, the guy admitted his brother shot my attacker and that he would have done it himself, so I have no idea why them being there was anything to be surprised by. Maybe it was just the fact I didn't have a weapon of my own, and even if he was sitting now was still in the better position.

He must have caught me looking at it and gave a shrug. "I bet ye don' really like tha I have it on but better ta be safe out here even if I try na ta use it. Shorta me na havin' it is there anythin' that'll make ye feel better about it? 'M na here ta scare ye…" and damned if the offer alone wasn't enough to make me relax again.

I know Rick or Daryl, heck even Daddy and Maggie, OK freaking **EVERYONE** would not be ok with what I was about to do. But they weren't here and I was sick of being afraid. I told Daryl good people were still out there right? Time to try and take my own advice I guess. "No. You're right. Everyone has a gun nowadays right? But that's not your only weapon is it? Kinda loud and bullets are getting harder to find."

He seemed pleased with my response, if the gentle smile he gave me was anything to go on. "Tha guns na tha only thing I've got. Jus' tha fastest. Anythin' comes wanderin' up I'll handle it. Ye still haven't answered how far them pieces 'o shit took ye." And right back to that again. The guy was persistent.

As he wasn't going to drop it I figured I'd better just answer and get it out of the way. "The way I figure it, without a map to go on, I'd say I'm about a hundred fifty or so miles from where they grabbed me. I'm not 100% sure where I was when it happened or where I am now but at least that far I think." Saying the words was like making it final. I was too far away for anyone to find me, even **if** Daryl could have tracked the car. "Are you still going to try Atlanta?"

The resigned look was back. "Aye, we will. If there's even a chance our friends are alive we need ta be sure. Yer not plannin' on runnin' off inta tha night are ye? Ye don' really know us but it's still safer ta stay than be alone. Wee lil thing like ye out here, if tha dead didn' get ye more of tha livin' would."

I couldn't help staring at him. Even knowing they had saved me I wasn't convinced they would let me stay if they weren't dangerous. Traveling like they were, even if they had a running car, finding supplies would have been hard and adding another mouth wasn't likely high on their to do list. The sheer fierceness in the set of his lean face said he was serious though. This stranger wanted me to stay and so far hadn't asked for any kind of repayment. The fact it was almost too good to be true kept me from tearing up against the wave of relief the thought gave me. If I stayed I wouldn't be alone, and they were going in the direction I needed to go. Maybe after they were done in the city they might even decide to help me try and find everyone from the prison. I know the bus made it out so there had to be survivors somewhere and one of them might have Judith. It was the first time in days I had thought of the poor little girl and I was still convinced the only way I'd believe she was dead was if I saw it for myself.

I could feel eyes on me and looked back into the face of one of the sincere looking people I'd seen in a long while. Before the "End" I'd always thought I was a good judge of character and for the most part I still felt like I was. After all my initial reaction to just his voice was to trust him. Besides there wasn't really much else I **could** do. He was right again. I wouldn't make it long by myself no matter how much I wished otherwise. Daryl had been teaching me some things but it was slow going and we hadn't had much time. Mind made up I extended my hand to him. "My names Beth."

**Holy crap ok this is the stopping point. If I go any more it's going to be forever before the next one. I hope this lives up to everyone's hopes. Next chapter Beth gets to meet the rest of the Saints crew. Reviews make me giggle like fangirl when Daryls being sweet! Much love to Anon, Beckarie, Soaring Hawk1, and Veszpremimaria who has also agreed to beta for me. Anyone wanting to let me know how I'm doing, good or bad, Please let me know. And anyone who just wants to talk fandoms please feel free to pm me! Love talking to other fans!**


	3. Roastin' Fkin' Marshmellos?

**And Chapter 3 ladies and gentleman. This one did not want to be written because Murphy didn't behave. He's still in the closet I locked him in to get some peace to get this out (God I wish). A friendly reminder: I don't own The Walking Dead or The Boondock Saints. I can't say I'd share them if I did!**

**Chapter 3: Roastin' F**kin' Marshmellos?**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

Connor reached for my hand and like it was some cosmic cue for something to happen, a body burst through the trees on the far end of the camp. My first thought was walker until it started cussing an impressive blue streak in a very, now familiar, Irish brogue as he struggled against a tangle of vines that wouldn't let him go. Figuring the chances it was the brother, Murphy, come back from walker hunting were pretty high I decided to just sit back and watch as all of his struggling only got him more entwined in the pesky plant. Connor had already let go of my hand and was moving to sit next to me, watching the new addition like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Murphy must have had enough of fighting with the irritating vine and drew a blade from I don't know where. It was effective though and he was free of his momentary enemy in seconds. Finally turning to face us my breath caught in my throat. _That's it! I have to have brain damage!_ There was Daryl in front of me! Even more unrealistically? He was almost what I would call clean!

But from one moment to the next, just like the similarities, all the differences between the man in front of me and the one I had breathless seconds of hope that it was jumped up and started mocking me. Murphy was clearly several years younger then the hunter I'd come to love since the End of the World. His hair, while shaggy like his brothers and in need of a wash, was also much shorter then Daryl's and the facial hair looked like it had seen a razor in the last month or so. His jeans, again so much like his brothers, were ripped, faded and dirty, and stained with blood here and there, but nothing like I'd seen Daryl put up with before finally deciding to take a new pair for himself. No my tracker hadn't done the impossible and found me but damned if I didn't find his freaking body double.

"Fuckin' hell Con! Even tha fuckin' plants attack ye down here!" I knew, while his indignant statement was funny, the hysterical giggle that I couldn't hold back seemed a little inappropriate. Piercing eyes, identical to Connors, locked on the two of us and the irritation seemed to vanish like it was never there, replaced by a satisfied smirk also reminiscent of his brother. "Yer awake! And Connor didn't run ye off! Duffy an' Romero na back yet?" The question had to be aimed at Connor but his comment about me running off was putting me back on edge. Was there a reason I should be running? I'd just agreed to stick around and now seconds later was wondering if it was the right decision.

I'm not sure what I did but Connor seemed to pick up on my returned tension almost immediately. "Murphy ye fuckin' idiot! I just convinced 'er she should stick around an' ye show up talkin' about runnin'! Shut yer damn mouth 'for **ye** run 'er off!" at the last he chucked a broken piece of wood at his brothers head.

The wood bounced harmlessly off his chest but it was enough it seemed to ignite an all to familiar spark in the darker brothers eyes. I knew that look. Maggie got it every time we were about to get into some stupid argument over nothing because she was bored and feeling playful. It was relieving to see and the little tension that had gathered left as swiftly as it came. If he wanted a fight with his brother the comment about running me off was probably for his benefit as well. If my brain didn't make its mind up for good soon I was going to get mental whiplash with how quickly I kept changing my mind. My body was already exhausted thanks to blood loss and pain, the added fun of muscle tension coming and going wasn't helping much.

It didn't take Murphy long to prove my instincts right. "Fuck ye! I've bin out there sweatin' my ass off makin' sure were safe an' yer here chattin' up tha girl like it's Saint Patty's at McGinty's! Wouln' blame 'er if she ran from ye!" I definitely had brain damage if the second giggle was any sign to go by. I just couldn't help it. He looked so much like Daryl that the whole scene just felt absurd.

"Your Murphy right?" At his nod I continued. "Thank you. Connor told me you were the one to shoot-" I was at a loss for words again, "the...guy. So thank you. And I don't want to run,not that I could anyway." I said gesturing to my midsection. I hoped the other two would be back soon, the coat was getting almost hotter than I could stand."Ya'll saved my life and I'm really grateful, haven't even thought of running for a few minutes now."

Murphy practically deflated before my eyes. "Aye, well wasn' just gonna let 'im do it now was I. Asshole got what 'e deserved."

I couldn't help it, really I tried. "He was Douchebag. The other two were assholes." It was like coming full circle. I was back to the beginning of meeting Connor. "Ye warned 'er about Duffy and Romeo righ'?" _Ok I want out of the Twilight Zone now! Walking dead peoples my limit for freaky things! _If the other two come back and repeat this whole conversation again I'm pretty sure I'll slap them.

"Course I fuckin' told 'er! What did ye think we were doin' roastin' fuckin' marshmellos?"

Their bickering reminded me again of Maggie and I worried as the pain was less than even just a few days ago. I didn't want the pain to fade, like if it did that meant I accepted never finding her again. Tuning the pointless argument out I tied to discretely blink away the few tears that had gathered. The movement brought my swollen face back to my attention. It was amazing what you could forget, if even for a short time, in this new world. I could hardly open my right eye and if it weren't for the fact I knew it would hurt I'd have cringed. I may have come out of my little "adventure" alive but I certainly wasn't going to forget about it any time soon.

By this point the boys were wrestling with each other on the ground. To me it looked like a pretty even fight; I didn't see either winning anytime soon. It would have been funny if it weren't for the circumstances I met them. _If this is how they act I wonder what the other two are like?_ Hopefully not quite as unrestrained. They were obviously a strong group if they made the trip all the way from Boston, but I couldn't help but wonder how if this is how they acted all the time.

More rustling from the direction Murphy had come into the camp from seemed to grab both their attention though. I watched impressed as the both rose at the same time, both seamlessly drawing their weapons, a gun and hunting knife each, all signs of their earlier fooling around gone. If I hadn't witnessed it for myself I'd have questioned if they were just rolling around on the ground like a couple of 5 year olds. Even from a few feet away I could practically feel the tension they all but vibrated with, their entire attention focused on the possible threat.

It didn't last long however. A clearly Boston accented voice called out, letting the boys know it was the rest of their group returning. I was having trouble deciding if the butterflies in my stomach were from hunger or nerves. Connor and Murphy seemed so genuinely disgusted by how they found me that I wasn't overly concerned they wanted to hurt me, how could I be sure about these other two?

Two men all but burst through the underbrush in almost the exact spot Murphy had only a few minutes earlier. Both turned and glanced in the direction I had first woken up in.

The smaller Hispanic man didn't bother to look around more before exclaiming "She's gone yo!" to which the other man just shook his head like he was used to the man making pointless comments. He turned to face the boys, and me, and it felt like I was meeting Rick all over again back on the farm. A little on the older side, tired eyes that had seen too much and still believed in hope, and a group of people I'm guessing he felt like he babysat more than anything else. The Mexican and the Detective. I almost felt a little silly for the thoughts I'd been having. "She's right there Romeo. And keep it down we don't want any of those things to hear us."

The smaller man spun around so fast I was sure he'd just wind up facing the same direction. His wild black hair giving him an equally wild look. He managed to stop his spin in time to face me and the unrestrained happy smile that dominated his face made me feel as though we were long lost friends reuniting. I didn't have the heart to distrust such an open face. "We went on into the closest town to get you some clothes. Don't know how great they'll fit but bettern nuthin' right?" and proceeded to chuck a pillowcase to my feet. I leaned forward slowly, trying not to pull the stitches again.

Inside were a pair of jeans that looked about my size a couple of simple cotton button up shirts that were only slightly wrinkled but otherwise looked newish. In the bottom there was also a toothbrush, a few rolled up pairs of socks and an unopened pack of Hane's women's underwear. Feeling the heat in my face like fire I gave them both a, what I hope was grateful, smile and a quick thanks. Even if everything was 10 sizes to big I was going to feel a lot more comfortable with my new travel buddies with pants on.

Eager to be dressed I braced against the fallen tree and got all the way to my knees before hands were gripping my elbow stopping me. Looking into Connors face it became clear how they had survived their travels. The intensity he was looking at me with, the sheer frustration in his face as he looked down on me, I didn't even want to think of that look if he were truly angry. "What in tha hell do ye think yer doin'?! Standin' wasn't smart ten minutes ago what makes ye think it's smart now? Ye can' just sit still for a minute would ye?" his grip didn't hurt but there was no way I was going anywhere unless he let me. I guess I should feel cared for or flattered but I just really wanted to get some clothes on without an audience.

"You don't know me to well so I'll let this slide. I want to get dressed and I don't think that's too much to ask for. I'm not gonna do anything stupid thanks. But I'm not hangin' out in the woods with a buncha guy's I barely know in nothin' but a coat!" and with that I pegged him with my best impression of Daryl's "stare down". I'd seen the man settle unruly men twice his size just glaring them down. Mine was nowhere close but after spending weeks alone with him I felt it was well on its way.

Connor however did not look impressed. Some of the frustration did seem to ease but his grip was just as firm. "I get ye want ta get dressed, but ye can' be movin' on yer own. Ye pull them stitches we don' have any more ta replace 'em. We'll turn around or somethin' fer cryin' out loud." Figuring that was the best I was going to get right then I nodded my head and stared pointedly until each of them turned. Connor let go of my arm, after giving me a look I'm pretty sure was meant to tell me to behave, walked a few steps away and turned his back as well.

Quickly stripping out of my boots, the only thing to make it through Douchebags attack it seemed, and ripped into the underwear packaging. I spared a quick second for vanity and was grateful they weren't granny panties. Apocalypse or not a girl was allowed to be a little bit shallow sometimes. Slipping them on quickly and replacing my soiled and bloody socks I quickly realized I'd have to stand no matter what to be able to get the pants past my hips.

Chancing a quick glance at each of them men I used the tree again and managed to get all the way to my feet, remembering at the last second not to put weight on my sprained ankle. The pants were a little difficult to put on, only being able to bend in certain ways, and I practically collapsed on my support tree after getting them zipped. They were about 2 sizes to large but that was an easy fix with a belt, and for the moment they weren't tight enough to aggravate the stitches that ran below the waist line. Feeling like I was running out of time before someone turned to check on me I shrugged out of the heavy coat and had my new button up on in seconds. It too was a size or too to big so instead of buttoning it all the way I took the tail ends and tied them so knot came to just above my belly button. One less thing to catch on my bandage and it would make checking on it easier in the long run. I started rolling the long cuffs up my arm before telling everyone they could look again.

Connor was glaring, clearly unhappy about my new position on top of the log but didn't comment. Murphy flashed me a quick smile that had my heart stuttering as he casually walked over and donned his coat. He just looked so much like Daryl I couldn't help it. If the hunter had ever smiled like that at the prison I think we would have had a riot. The feeling didn't last long before Romeo plopped down next to me and started chatting away, his face animated and his hands moving a mile a minute with his words. I missed most of what he was going on about, but did catch him asking what to call me.

Interrupting the hyper man, because I'm pretty sure it was going to be the only way I'd get a word in edge wise "My name's Beth. You must be Romeo and Duffy. Thank you for the clothes. I don't know how the two of them aren't sweating to death in those coats." I said with a finger wiggle at the brothers, who simply shrugged and took the coats off.

"Aye they're hottern' hell down here. They make it harder ta see us in tha brush though." Was Murphy's over simplified explanation. "So were ye alone before them piles 'o shit got ye? Do ye have a group nearby?" and just like that the sadness I'd been beating down every day since running from the prison swelled back up. A sharp smacking noise had my eyes back on Murphy as he pushed his brothers shoulder. "What in tha fuck was tha fer ye ass?"

Connor didn't reply, verbally at least. They just stood there staring at each other, like I'd seen Rick and Daryl do countless times out on the road. While I was content with the silent communication Romeo didn't share my patience. "Hey! Knock it off with the Jedi Twin Mind Trick crap. Some of us need to hear shit to get the picture!"

The question was out of my mouth before I realized I'd even thought it. "Twin?"

Duffy, still standing a respectable distance away, nodded his head but otherwise remained quiet. I wondered how he stayed with this group for so long. The other three obviously didn't have a problem voicing pretty much any thought that popped into their heads from what I'd seen so far, and the quiet older man didn't seem to fit into the picture. _Then again Daryl put up with us for all this time, maybe it's the same thing. _Family didn't have anything to do with blood anymore, and if they'd been together since the beginning, maybe longer, then they probably didn't even question it. _Connor said the FBI Agent and Detective in Atlanta were good friends. Maybe they all knew each other before._ An unlikely group but weirder things happened, like the dead walking around eating people.

Connor and Murphy were now busy laughing at Romeo who was pouting. "My group, what may or may not be left of them, are well over a hundred miles from here. Can't say for sure why he hit you though sorry?" I gave a half- hearted shrug in the boys direction and tried to catch Connors eye. "I'm fine about it. Really. It happened weeks ago and I was with only one of my group before they grabbed me two days ago-" stopping suddenly a new question was flashing in my head like an alarm. "On second thought… How long was I asleep?"

The brothers both looked a bit uncomfortable with the question but Romeo didn't even blink at the question. "Man you been asleep for a day and a half! That fucker cut you deep girl and Duff wasn't sure we had enough to sew you up! Whaddoya mean may or may not though? Since the two of them would rather just eye fuck each other then tell the rest of us shit!" Just watching the man talk was making me tired. It was like he used his whole body to communicate. Connor and Murphy didn't look like they appreciated the last part though and while I was laughing on the inside both of them kicked dirt clumps in Romeo's direction with simultaneous "Fuck ye!"'s.

Connor looked to me though, the question in his eyes clear. I hadn't really told him what happened, just the quick notes version. Beyond knowing I was largely separated from my family he didn't know the how, why, or when. "Yer choice girl. Ye don' have to tell us." The fact he was giving me an out made me want to give him a hug. Near stranger or not he was willing to let me have this secret. I knew it wasn't right to keep it from these people who had saved me but it was nice having the option.

"Like I said I'm ok. I can talk about it, it happened and it's not like talking about it can make it any worse then it already is." Eyeing the three still standing men I waved to the log Romeo and I were on. "It's not exactly a short story, ya may wanna take a seat."

Duffy took Connors abandoned stump, removing a machete from behind him that I hadn't even seen. Connor and Murphy, giving each other one last meaningful (though what meaning I have no idea) look plopped down on the ground in front of me almost close enough they were touching my outstretched legs.

I didn't realize trying to decide where the whole thing really started was going to be so hard. "I guess it really started when our group had to run from my farm…"

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**Ok so now we have Murphy, Romeo and Duffy back and looking for answers. Beth's explanation will be fun to write from her POV. **

**Things to look forward to in Chapter 4: The guys hearing about Team Prison, Romeo crying, the twins making fun of him for it, and a personal moment with Duffy. **

**I hope this lived up to expectations. Let me know how I'm doing! Love it? Hate it? Want to see something or have a problem? Review! To all those who already have: Beckarie, Anon, Belladcmum, and my lovely beta veszpremimaria7 for putting up with my rambling.**


	4. Where the Fkd He Get a Fuckin' Tank!

**Because this wouldn't leave me alone till it was out! Poor Beth! Look at all she's been through. At least now she's got the twins on her side and I really don't see them letting her wallow for long!**

**As always reviews keep me smiling and since I don't own anything I could really use something to smile about .**

**Chapter 4: Where the F**kd He Get a Fuckin' Tank!**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

"We were forced to leave thanks to a herd of walkers. We lost Patricia and Jimmy that night too." The pain of their deaths still haunted me and nightmares of a walker Patricia coming back for me would have me waking up in a cold sweat some nights yet. "The rest of us wandered for the next couple of months. One of the women was pregnant and we were slow. We found the prison by accident; two of our group were out hunting at the time. We fought hard to secure the place and we'd been there for close to a year." I could still remember the over whelming sense of hope the building had inspired in us all. It was home, we'd be safe there. I missed those days, hard as they were.

"Whoa how many people you have in your group? Takin' out a whole prison fulla them things!" Romeo didn't look convinced. I couldn't really blame him either. Rick had our complete faith and cooperation by that point and I could tell most of us at the time didn't think it was the great idea he did. He was about to be even less believing.

"There were ten of us at the time. Rick, Lori who was pregnant, and their 13 year old son Carl. Me, my dad and sister, Maggie, and her eventual husband Glenn. There was T-dog then, and Carol. Daryl, who was the one I'd been with before I was grabbed." My smile even felt sad. It wasn't these men's fault the story was about to turn tragic but the words tasted bitter in my mouth even as I continued. "There were more of us in the end. But back in the beginning it was only us."_ If we'd have had more people maybe our losses wouldn't have happened... maybe Lori could have lived to take care of her little girl..._

What I thought had been a private thought to myself apparently wasn't so private. Romeo was sniffling beside me and Duffy looked at me sadly. Neither of the twins acted like they heard anything though, I still felt I owed them an explanation for the wayward thought. "Lori died in childbirth because someone sabotaged our fences and lead walkers in." I smiled sadly thinking of little baby Judith. "She never got to see her daughter..."

I'm not entirely sure where my mind went then, but gentle hands, one on each leg courtesy of the brothers brought me back to the present. I just wish I could remember all the good times as vividly as the bad. Both men were looking at me so intently I had to look away. Like they were looking into my very soul, could read the pain there and were sorry. "We lost T-dog in the same attack…he was bit saving another of our group" I had to stop again and viciously wiped at the tears that had escaped, T-dog had always been kind to me and he had been family. Guess I still do cry… Taking a deep breath I kept telling them what led to a madman to attack us with a tank.

The hands still resting on my legs gave the slightest of squeezes. Just enough to bring me back again. "Rick went kinda crazy for a while after that. Daryl was the one to make sure Judith survived that first night. As soon as he saw her he was already practically out the gate to get formula. With Rick gone we didn't know what to call her. For the first few days Daryls name for her stuck. Lil' Asskicker." At that I did laugh. Just remembering everyone's reaction to the name the redneck had given our newest family member. Carol knew where it came from without having to be told. It was just such a Daryl thing. Thinking about what came next wiped the smile off my face though. "My sister and Glenn were taken a few days later on a run."

Duffy shifting caused me to focus on him. He gave a tiny head nod and a practically whispered "Go on." I wished I knew what they were all thinking. If I hadn't lived it, even with everything else that had happened, I'm not sure I would believe what was to come. That someone could be so evil.

"The guy that grabbed him knew Glenn from before we'd met him, back when they were in Atlanta like I told Connor." With that all eyes were now on the aforementioned twin. He waved off their questioning eyes and motioned for me to continue. "His name was Merle and he was Daryls older brother. He had been left behind when things went sideways in Atlanta. Or at least that's what Glenn said. He was part of the group that left him and Merle wasn't exactly the forgiving type. I didn't know him before, and only knew him for a few days after we met but he didn't really try and get along with people even when it was in his best interest so I can only imagine. Glenn and Maggie don't talk about what happened after he brought them to the community he'd been staying with. I know he beat the hell outta Glenn though, he could barely stand after they got back."

The story was taking longer to tell then I thought it would. There were just so many important things that happened. Things that were all part of why the deranged "Governor" obsessed over us. I was starting to get thirsty but I knew if I stopped now I wouldn't want to finish and I was so close to being done.

"Someone saw him take them. She got to the prison covered in walker guts and carrying the formula they must have dropped. She had just escaped the 'town' they were taken to, and they'd tried to kill her on her way out. She had left a friend behind and wanted to get her back and was willing to show us the way. I think at the time she just figured we'd be a good distraction. To tell you the truth she didn't really try and get along with people at that point either." And it was true. Michonnes' first few days were full of arguing. She was like a trapped animal circling the cage. I remember thinking if her and Daryl glared at each other any harder they were going to spontaneously combust. We kept taking in people with seriously alpha personalities and they weren't playing well with each other. I know we got lucky with how that bit worked out. Michonne was such a great asset and friend after that initial distrust. I'd have never seen my sister or brother in law if it weren't for the stoic woman. _I wonder if she survived?_

"When everyone got back we were short a member. Merle was never going to be what you could call welcome at the prison, he'd burned way too many bridges in Atlanta and my family and I were content to let the others decide based on experience. The fact he had just kidnapped and tortured two of us, knowingly no less, didn't earn him any brownie points. Rick said Daryl chose to follow his brother and they went off on their own." A small spark of anger was still there, aimed right at Daryl, he had left us like we weren't family anymore and it hurt. His own grief over what happened that last day at the prison was the only reason I forgave him so fast for saying everyone was dead.

"I promise were close to the end. About two days or so later the Governor, that's what their leader called himself," I explained at the looks I was getting for the title, "showed up and attacked without warning. The only good thing that happened that day was Daryl coming back." I wasn't so petty that the thought of the man we all had come to love as part of the weird little extended family we had coming "home" couldn't make me smile. He had seemed genuinely surprised at his warm welcome, even if his dick of a brother called him a pussy for it. "Rick tried to reason with the Governor and he gave us an out. He wanted Michonne and said if we handed her over he'd never bother us again."

That part still didn't make sense to me. I know she had taken the mans eye but it seemed like a little overkill. Asking her why the man hated her had only ended in a heated curse and dead walkers around the fence.

"Merle decided to take him up on it and almost gave her over, and I don't know? Changed his mind maybe? Whatever it was when she showed back up at the prison she told us that Merle let her go… Daryl came back the next morning after looking for his brother. He didn't come back with him though, and Daryl doesn't talk about it so..." I gave a shrug. I couldn't tell something I didn't know about. "The second attack on the prison didn't end well for the Woodbury people though. Michonne was sneaky and Daryl was out for blood. Between the two of them and Rick we were able to set the prison up like giant mouse trap. Not nearly as many people came out as went in, and when the main fighters in our group decided to follow them and end it? There was only one survivor. The Governor had turned his gun on his own people and killed anyone who had made it out to retreat." I felt bad for the poor people the crazy man had enthralled. They followed him blindly, believing everything he said was like the gospel. It wasn't their fault a snake knew how to be charming. "The woman told the guys that all the kids and elderly people were left behind in the town. Our group went from ten to almost thirty overnight."

I guess I wasn't moving it along fast enough for Romeo though. "I thought you said you were all separated and shit? Yo is that motherfucker still alive?!" he asked in alarm. His hand reached for a ridiculously colorful gun at his side before Murphy, who was closer, punched him in the leg.

"Let 'er finish first dumbass! Now shutup an' listen"

"Ummm thanks… I think… Anyway I have no idea if he's alive or not. He left us alone for months. We took in more people we found wandering around. By the time he came back we were close to a hundred people. A lot of them were kids though. And some weird super flu spread around the prison right before he attacked and we were already down people and stretched thin." And now for the hardest part. "Michonne and my father were in the woods burning walker bodies that had piled up around the fences. I guess that's where they got taken. No one noticed though until the tank rolled up-"

Romeo almost falling off our seat had me stopping again. "Where the fuck'd he get a fuckin' tank!" and earned himself another punch to the leg via Murphy and a handful of dirt thanks to Connor. His aim wasn't so great and I wound up brushing off my fair share, and before I could even think of being mad over it he was looking at me with the biggest pair of puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen aside from baby Judiths'.

Wagging my finger at both of them though, I couldn't help but side with Romeo. "It's ok. Cuz, I mean, common guys I just said this guy rolled up in a tank. Pretty interruption worthy." I gave the poor abused man a quick wink with my good eye. "Besides don't act like you didn't want to ask it. Heck I wanna know where he got the stupid thing! Not that it really matters where. He had it, and ammo for it. He had taken out two of the guard towers, driven through all the fences, and was firing on the cell blocks faster then you could blink after he got his pointless gesturing outta the way."

Surprisingly it was Duffy with the question this time. "What do you mean 'pointless gesturing'?"

"Like I said he grabbed my Dad and Michonne. He had them on their knees just outside the last fence. I couldn't hear what he and Rick were saying from where we were but I'm pretty sure it was along the lines of 'get out or we'll kill both of them. Leave and you get to live.' We'd already done that with him though so it wasn't like we could trust that, if it's what it was. He had Michonnes' sword at Daddy's neck for a while." Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I knew and didn't care. "It looked like he was actually putting it down. My Dad looked so relieved, like he thought everything was going to be ok… That asshole cut my fathers' head off." And there it was. The whole awful truth of that wretched day. Daryl and I didn't talk about it after that night drinking moonshine. There was nothing left to say beyond where to look. Daryl grieved quietly and I felt he deserved that much, and it was really all I could give him at the time. But aside from the angry, disbelieving tears I had shed in that moment I watched the blade come down I hadn't really dealt with it.

I was reasonably ok that my Dad was dead. At least he didn't have to live through the group being separated. It was how he had died and why. Some asshole with issues and a bunch of sheep willing to follow him no matter what wrongs he committed. Maybe if one of them had stood up and told the man we hadn't given them reason to attack us. If one of them had questioned why kidnapping an old man with one leg and a woman was right. Taking the left path instead of the right and maybe none of it would have happened.

"Everyone was running trying to get away from the bullets and walkers that were coming thanks to all the noise. Daryl and I were some of the only ones left. He managed to take out the tank but it was too late. There was no way we could ever rebuild everything that had been destroyed, and there were just too many of them. He said we had to run… If you knew Daryl that would mean more but Daryl doesn't run from anything. Ever. But he said run. So we did. A few weeks later we were surrounded by walkers and he told me to run again. I had just sprained my ankle in a small animal trap and he was trying to give me time to get away. As soon as I got to the street the car pulled up and two guys grabbed me and threw me in the backseat and took off. The rest you pretty much know."

I don't think I'd ever been happier to be done talking in my life. Reliving some of the worst parts of the last few years had taken its emotional toll. I hoped it convinced them I wasn't out to rob them blind, but I also figured the whole finding me getting rapped thing worked in my favor in a twisted way.

"So is he dead"

Neither brother made a move to reprimand the man this time. "I have no idea. The last time I saw him he was in the middle of the prison field. He and Rick looked like they were trying to kill eachother with their bare hands. I hope he's dead. I never prayed for a man's death like I did his. Even Douchebag got a pass-"

Murphy's eyes were cold as he exclaimed, "Wha' tha fuck do ye mean 'got a pass'?! I found tha' mothafucker ontopa ye! Do ye know what 'e coulda done ta ye?!" His accent thicker in his anger. His brother grabbing his arm was the only reason he didn't get up I think.

Looking to each of the other men I saw similarly displeased expressions. "I didn't mean I want him alive! Just that I didn't pray he would die. I don't like killing the living! There's already not enough of us left as it is! And what the hell do we do huh? We go around killing anyone else we find 'cuz were so scared they'll kill us first! Much longer it won't matter if you survived the outbreak. The living will kill you before the dead do." Murphy's outright hostile energy deflated like a giant balloon being popped. His hand went back to my ankle and gave a gentle squeeze, that I guess was to say he was sorry. Connor too looked like he was sorry, for what I was just too tired to give a damn.

Duffy broke the tense silence much to my gratitude. "Are you hungry? I don't guess those men had fed you much?" and I could have kissed him then and there. My stomach gave an impressive growl at the mention of food. Romeo was up like lightning and rifling through another pack the two had returned with.

When he returned to the Story Log, as I had dubbed the fallen tree, it was with power bars, a can of SpaghettiOs, and a bottle of water. Taking the water first I had to remind myself repeatedly to drink slowly. The brothers had taken to soothingly rubbing circles on my legs with their thumbs. I wasn't sure if they knew they were doing it or not but it felt good and I wasn't going to tell them to stop. Duffy produced a pan for the almost pasta and the power bars were distributed. Maybe they thought they were being slick, but I noticed as each of them slipped one of theirs into my pile. I decided I wouldn't eat them all, and give them back at another meal.

As it was I was so tired by the time we were done with the small meal I was almost falling off Story Log. Connor and Murphy helped me get to the ground without hurting myself and I was quickly consumed in sleep.

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**WHOOHOO Chapter 4! Beths' story turned out longer then I thought it would but everything just seemed so freakin relevant. Next chapter we get a little bit more of what the boys have been up to since the end of the world. Let me know how I did even if it's a big 'ol "YOU SUCK" lol.**


	5. Whistling Fckin' Dixie!

**Ok we all know the drill. I don't own them and even if I did I wouldn't share because I'm woman enough to admit I'm greedy! What translations there are will be at the end. Enjoy!**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

There was a reason I worked homicide before the world went to shit. Looking at living victims, hearing them relive whatever horror they'd survived, it was heartbreaking. There were plenty of cases that came across my desk that eventually went cold. Living, knowing, there was nothing to offer those people was never anything that got easier. When the position in homicide, even in South Boston, came up I jumped on it as fast as I could. Watching little kids half-starved from neglect, or women battered beyond recognition, and the men just in the wrong place at the wrong time had been killing me. At least the dead don't look to you desperate for answers.

Their families did though. And while their mourning was gut-wrenching, if those cases went cold the failure was at least vaguely more tolerable. And then years of picking dead bodies out of dumpsters, with the eventual knowledge that there was never going to be justice for most of them, jaded me to the problem. There was nothing anyone could do legally. No matter how many time we'd bring in some mobster lowlife or gangbanging punk nothing stuck. They'd just get to walk right back out the doors, whistling fuckin' Dixie, ready to go out and take a shit on someone else's life.

The Macmanus brothers and their no mercy policies may have seemed harsh to some of the public, but they had never met the men behind the propaganda bullshit. Any man in our precinct who spoke to either of them didn't bother to voice their opinion of the vigilante justice they dealt throughout the city. Since the boys took up their cause crime was down across the board, if even only marginally at first. Months later at the Yakavetta trial, and their very public threat to any criminal who crossed the line, it didn't just drop off it took a freaking nosedive! Where we were finding dumped bodies multiple times daily before now there was maybe one a day for a while. They put the scum on alert, and with their already rather impressive list of known hits the scum took it to heart.

I'd been a man of law for so long, and feeling like there was no point to it, that when that prick Smecker took Greenly Dolly and me aside, looking like he'd been three sheets to the wind a dozen or so sheets back I figured we'd broken him. You could have gotten away with calling my Ma any name in the book when he told us about the real identities of our local low lives boogey men. I actually thought Greenbean might have an aneurism for a minute after the bomb was dropped. Dolly and I weren't much better.

Meeting the boys again, this time in the bar that started the whole mess, was just fuckin' nerve wracking. They clearly already had the agent in charge of the case on their side, protecting them from the law that should have been kissing their lily white Irish asses. None of us could come up with a single reason to involve more people, including ourselves. But there they were sitting at the bar screwing around with the old man serving them shots. The place was empty otherwise and the old guy left quickly after noticing us.

I figured maybe the boys would show some kind of change. Be less themselves, somehow, after the bloodbaths they had been in over the last few weeks. Besides a small limp, in Connors case, and a tired overall look about them they were almost exactly the same as the day they turned themselves in for the deaths of the Russians David had been sure had been crushed to death by "some huge fuckin' guy". They even greeted us like old friends, hands clasp and shots poured. The sheer fire and conviction in them as they explained what called out to them and led them to their new path was like a second calling to arms. I'd lost faith in the justice system years ago thanks to watching the never ending line of crooks that cycled through the courts like it was a god dammed merry-go-round. Their conviction in doing what was right, even if it wasn't legal, and taking care of the innocent, not because they enjoyed it (I mean yea they kinda did but it wasn't why they did it) but because it was the right thing. The truly evil people out there would not escape their brand of justice. And I wanted in. I wanted to make a difference again.

Years later I still agreed with everything they stood for and hadn't had a moment of regret in my involvement. Utter terror of being caught, hell yea, but regret for making the already tough streets of South Boston just a little safer, not a chance. Greenly was able to die proud that he'd been a part of something that made a difference and even in the middle of Armageddon they continued to make a difference.

Beth had fallen asleep quickly after just a few short hours awake but given what she was dealing with it wasn't all that surprising. What also wasn't very surprising was the twins protective positioning on either side of her. Even with it being my time for watch I could tell at least one of them was awake and aware the whole time. Only years of familiarity with them kept me from being offended at the lack of confidence in my watch capabilities. Before the blonde they were perfectly fine trusting Romeo and myself to guard their backs and I could guess having an innocent they had almost failed to protect had them twisting with guilt. Even if the girl hadn't been raped thanks to timely intervention she had almost died regardless.

I watched as Murphy shifted and laid his hand on the grip of one of the many guns he hadn't taken off in days. Connor, too, hadn't bothered removing his many weapons since finding the girl. The second her scream had pierced the otherwise quiet night something had told me things were going to change. Finding her almost bleeding out in Connors arms as Murphy frantically tried to stem the flow, and there it was. I knew if the girl actually survived they weren't going to let her go far.

One of them had been within sight of her since, on edge and full of energy and no clear way to get rid of it. Dead ones provided some distraction for them but the walking corpses had become easily dealt with and they quickly rid the entire area of any they could find in the first day of waiting. Something about the girl had struck something in both of them that wouldn't let them rest until she woke up. The downright hostile energy they were building gave me a few minutes worry over her reaction if she did wake up, she could very easily decide we were no different than the men we'd killed to save her if she picked up on it.

Since neither Irishman seemed capable of leaving the small blondes side it was decided Romeo and I would continue to the next town and re-up on supplies and try and find clothes that would fit her painfully skinny frame. The backyard bomb shelter we stumbled across had been a god send. The MRE's, canned foods, and stockpile of power bars would last a week or more even with an extra, wounded, mouth. The clothes were harder to track down and Romeo had surprised me when he thought to add a toothbrush and underwear (the blush he had when he found the package of womens panties was priceless and well worth the long walk).

I also kept an eye out for cars to syphon gas from. When the tank like suburban that had gotten us from Boston to Georgia ran dry damn near the middle of nowhere and we were forced to walk I hadn't guessed it could possibly be divine intervention. The only reason the girl was still breathing was thanks to running out of gas, go figure. And for the sake of the two men left behind to watch over her I hoped she stayed breathing. If she died the brothers were **not** going to take it well. Never mind they didn't know who she was, she was like the poster girl of innocence and protecting that innocence was their thing. To have a failure like that thrown in their face after the struggle of getting her sewn up and stabilized would likely result in endless waves of violence towards the dead as they tried to come to terms with it. Their friend Roccos death had lead them with an almost single minded need to put down the Mob boss responsible. If the girl died the men who killed her were already dead and unable to be used as targets.

Returning to the temporary camp we set up not far from our SUV and seeing the girl gone had been a shock. Seeing her actually awake and aware was a bigger one. She seemed pretty calm for someone who'd just been brutalized, which was suspicious given the twins aggressive stance even after they knew who was coming. After hearing her tell her story I figure it was just one thing on top of an already stacked deck for her, with just enough shock left over in her system to keep the pain away and keep hysteria from forming. Even if she wasn't feeling her injuries to much now she would when she woke up again. We'd failed to find any kind of significant painkillers on the short trip and what we had left wasn't near strong enough for her to be comfortable once the shock was fully worn out.

A shuffling noise a bit away from camp proved none of us had bothered to sleep. Romeo and Connors eyes were just as alert and Murphy and my own as hands reached for weapons and we strained to hear anything further. The line shaking a few feet from the tree Beth and the boys were leaning against saw Connor crouching low, as if to use his own body as a human shield for the girl, and Murphy drawing his silenced twin eagle and moving in the direction the disturbance came from. He'd barely taken three steps before the line clamored again and this time the girls eyes snapped open and she sat upright faster then Connor was able to try and stop the movement. A rabbit ran harmlessly through the camp, a bit of a label off a can in its mouth. The blondes quick reaction to the noise, and stubborn refusal to cry out through the pain I could see in her wide eyes made me think she'd spent her fair share of time in camps in the middle of the woods.

With the threat of danger past Murphy moved swiftly to his brothers side and they both tried to get the girl to breath, as she had stopped entirely upon sitting. Romeo looked like he wanted to help but didn't want to get in the way. I felt much the same, but knew better then to overcrowd a young girl who'd just been violently assaulted, so we just waited. It wasn't as though either of us had been asleep anyway.

She slowly started taking short even breaths and some of the tension came out of her shoulders. A few minutes later she was able to open her eyes and the pain there was less too. This was another reason I jumped at being in homicide. What the hell do you say? Asking if she was alright was just plain stupid, and anything else just felt wrong, invasive. As much as I wanted to do something for the girl the twins could do just as well without interference.

Another few minutes passed of the boys fussing over her and I could hear the exasperation in her tone as she firmly told them she was fine. Neither listened and continued their self-appointed mother henning. Big blue eyes looked at me like I could save her from the overzealous men and I figured I'd better at least try. The last thing the girl needed was to have her wishes ignored. "Common guys she says she's fine, leave it. She probably just wants ta go back to sleep, right Beth?" this was her out and if she didn't take it there wasn't anything I could do to stop the brothers from worrying over her.

The smile she gave me was worth the glares Connor and Murphy were shooting me at the same time. Even with all the bruising and swelling I could tell she had been a pretty girl before being attacked. There was still some dried blood here and there in her hair, with a few twigs thrown it for good measure, and the clothes we'd managed to find were overly large on her starved frame but the smile let me know she'd be fine. Victims didn't smile like that, survivors did.

"He's right I'm tired. But I can't sleep with botha you hovering like that so back off!" and she probably meant that to sound stern but it was more amusedly resigned then anything. Her soft southern accent gave the words an almost sweet feel contrary to the words themselves.

Again neither looked happy, and the snorting laugh from Romeo didn't help, but both returned to their original posts on either side and Connor offered his lap as a pillow. I laughed with the Hispanic man at the 'screw it' expression she gave before plopping her head down near his knee. The brothers joined us when her mumbled "Harder then the stupid ground." And Connor took his coat and used it to cushion her head on his leg.

She dropped back off quickly after that leaving the rest of us to stare at each other. As strained as the silence was no one was inclined to break it and the tiny blondes even breathing was the only noise outside the normal Georgia woods general noise.

Connor and Murphy kept giving eachother knowing looks and I about snapped at them Romeo was right. Enough with the twin mind talk crap not all of us are fuckin' psychic. Only their troubled expressions stopped me. What the hell were they worried about, the girl had woken up and agreed to stay with the group for the foreseeable future. She obviously knew how to handle herself in the woods if her quick reaction time was anything to go on. We had enough food to last us at least a bit if we couldn't make it to a town on the gas we'd found, and thanks to their restless energy the likely hood of anything dead being near us was damn near zero.

"Hey man you guys ain't tellin' us something. Let us in on the secret you assholes!" Gotta love Romeo, the man didn't play word games.

Connor looked to his brother first. "_Beh__, __dovremmo__dire lor__? __Probabilmente__niente..."_

Damn them. Where the fuck was a translator at the end of the world when you needed one. Whatever he said causes Murphy to shake his head. _"__Vy videli, kak ona posmotrela na menya. Kak my mozhem ob"yasnit' , chto? Net, my dolzhny prosto skazat' im, chto eto potomu, chto ona prodolzhayet dvigat'sya."_

The Hispanic man looked like he'd been forced to swallow a rotten lemon and wanted to blame the brothers. If I wasn't so curious about what had them worried in the first place it would have been funny. "He's got a point. We haven't gone this long by keeping secrets. What have you two noticed that we haven't"

"She jus' keeps movin' is all. She won' heal if she keeps it up." Defiantly not the whole reason, but probably the best we were going to get for tonight. Whatever it was was likely personal or they'd have just told us from the start. I didn't have to be happy about it but I knew them well enough that if it was important I knew they would clue us in. Romeo didn't look happy but kept his mouth shut.

It was only a few hours before dawn and I figured there wasn't any point in pretending to sleep. I let the other three know I was headed to the car and quickly made my way back to the road. Just because the two of them wanted to hide something didn't mean I had to be there to watch them talk about it in a language I couldn't understand.

Though the suburban was on the newer side when the end started you couldn't tell by the looks of it. It was one of three vehicles we'd managed to save from the riots that ravaged Boston when the infection became an epidemic. It was the largest and had been packed full of every weapon we could get our hands on. Beyond my own contribution of anything left in the precincts weapons cage, the mysterious arms dealer the boys used had shown up at Mcginty's with everything he had in stock and a few people he'd managed to save from the streets. Months later when the decision to leave the city and search for the missing Smecker and Dolly we'd traveled to every other police station that wasn't completely overrun and emptied them of anything left as well. Between the artillery, food, and what clothes the four of us brought there almost wasn't enough room left for us.

With Beth as injured as she was it was either make room or someone was sitting on someone else's lap, and it wouldn't be her. Consolidating the remaining ammo, and organizing the impressive number of weapons, was menial work I was able to loose myself in. Used to be a drink at the bar and a good joke was enough to distract my mind and I mourned for those days. As it was the sun rose quickly and by the time I'd gotten everything situated I was pleased with the end result. The front row would fit three of us, if a little snugly, and would give the petite girl room to stretch out in the back without being crowded herself. If the guys didn't like the arrangement they could just deal.

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**Duffy, Duffy, Duffy… I don't know why you fought me so hard on this dude. **

**And Murphys been dancing around in my head demanding attention so the next on will probably be from his pov with a few flashbacks thrown in for fun. For everyone who thinks everything is moving slowly… well your right… This will NOT be a quick story. Sorry if that's your thing but it's not mine. There might be a few time skips but nothing to significant. **

**TRANSLATIONS:**

"_Beh__, __dovremmo__dire lor__? __Probabilmente__niente..." __**So, should we tell them? It's probably nothing (Italian)**_

"_Vy videli, kak ona posmotrela na menya. Kak my mozhem ob"yasnit' , chto? Net, my dolzhny prosto skazat' im, chto eto potomu, chto ona prodolzhayet dvigat'sya."__**You saw how she looked at me. How do we explain that? No, we should just tell them it's because she keeps moving. (Russian)**_


	6. Yer Brilliant Performance of Jackassery

**I don't own anything, pretty sure we've already been through that.**

**Anything written **_in italic and underlined_ **is the boys speaking German. I only speak English and use google for anything else and the sentences were not being translated right so instead of having even more horribly mangled foreign languages I decided to try that. **

**Chapter 6: ****Yer **_**Brilliant**_** Performance of Jackassery**

**_~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD_**

Four fucking months without seeing a single living person. Four! Just our bad fucking luck the first ones we find would have been targets for the "Saints" even before the turn. Hearing a woman screaming in the middle of the woods had caught everyone's attention, and the fear she would be lost to the dead drove all four of us into the thick brush. It would have been easier if it had been a simple case of putting down a couple of corpses.

Finding the source of the scream covered in blood, naked and unmoving, under some sick shit ready to rape her wasn't the shock I wish it was. People had gone even more mad since civilization collapsed and it wasn't the first time anyone in our group had stopped something similar from happening. Hazy blue eyes, barely alive, quickly had my gun aimed and fired. The shot was perfect and unsatisfying. Motherfuckers like that deserved to suffer a little.

There wasn't time to dwell on what should have been though, Connor breaking through to the camp (_Fuckin' really? I wouldn't spend morn'a minute in this shit clearing!)_ and seeing the wild tangle of blonde hair drenched in blood had my brother cursing the son of'a bitch as much as I just had. We quickly shoved the dead body off the poor girl and the scene just continued to get worse.

Blood was pouring out of nasty gash low on her gut and it was bad enough that I wasn't sure we'd be able to save her anyway. I practically tore my shirt off around my holster to try and get something to staunch the flow. Blue eyes were still open, almost completely unseeing, and I couldn't stop the heat that boiled the blood in my viens.

Four _**FUCKIN' **_months! And now we were about to lose some unfortunate girl because some sick asshole thought the end of the world meant it was ok to torture women into submission. Another thirty seconds he'd have died even happier, sick fuck. There just wasn't time to think about it though as those same blue eyes fluttered closed. Her breathing was uneven and labored, her skin pale and taunt over bone and muscle. She looked like she'd have been small anyway and starvation had ravaged her body nearly as badly as her attacker. If she had been in poor shape before being cut open her body wouldn't have the strength to fight to live.

Duffy damn near pushing me out of the way, needle in hand ready to stitch, forced me to abandon the pretty much pointless effort of applying pressure to the wound. My shirt had long since soaked through and was doing little to help. Connor still had her in his arms though and didn't look like he was letting go any time soon, Duffy would just have to work around him. Romeo got to the clearing and took everything in with an unusual, for him, calm. "Mother fucker did it's dead?"

Our Mexican chose weird moments to remind us why we'd let him become a fellow Saint. I kicked the dead fucker to show that, yes I'd dealt with it already. Still looking down at the body I felt suddenly wrong even having the assholes corpse anywhere near the girl, like he could hurt her from beyond just by being close.

Motioning Romeo to help me haul him farther off I made sure I had a few pennies in my pocket. The piece 'o filth didn't deserve that much, let alone the rushed family prayer over his dead body but it was just how we did things, even if it did feel like a waste after seeing how he'd already treated the girl.

What felt like hours later Duffy announced he'd gotten her stabilized but he'd have to get her cleaner or the chances of infection would skyrocket. It was quickly agreed that two of us would make our way with the girl back towards the SUV we'd abandoned several miles back while the others went to find enough water to get her clean. It went unspoken it would be Connor and I taking the girl.

It was dawn again by the time she'd been cleaned enough for everyones approval. She hadn't so much as twitched as Connor and I washed her with the cleanest shirt we could find and poured some of the stashed whiskey over the tender sliced skin to try and help prevent infection even further. Duffy spent that time getting a fire going not far from her, the days in Georgia may have been hottern' fuck but the nights were cooling and the last thing the unfortunate thing needed was to catch a cold. Between the four of us there wasn't a single piece of clothing that would even remotely fit her small frame so I made due with covering her with my coat and Romeo and Duffy volunteered to go find something more suitable.

Connor had gone off to try and vent the rage we were both feeling over the whole situation. Sneaky bastard had slipped away while I helped the other two empty packs they could use to bring back any food or supplies they found while looking for clothes. I couldn't blame him though as the reason I noticed he was missing was because I wanted to do the same. I needed to do **something**, even if it was just putting a permanent end to flesh hungry corpses. I wanted to get rid of the anger simmering in my blood, didn't want the girl to wake up and see even a trace of it. Didn't want her to be afraid of me.

Because she **was** going to wake up. I abso-fuckin'-lutly refused to believe we'd been to late. She was going to wake up and open blue eyes that had been haunting me from the second I saw them, and I was going to be fuckin' calm when it happened damn it!

That plan was later shot to shit. As if the fuck' bushes attacking me wasn't bad enough I look over and see the damn girl was awake watchin' me lose to 'em! Add to it that she'd moved when she should have been stayin' as still as possible and all the frustration and anger of the last few days was back like I hadn't just gone and stabbed several dozen dead people in the skull.

It was the look though that really put me over. Devil bushes, fine I'd deal with it. Her moving, maybe there was a **really** good reason (Connor better hope there was). It was the fleeting recognition and hope I saw in her eyes, before it died and was replaced to something I imagine would have been reserved for someone kicking a puppy. What the fuck'd I do to get **that** look?! It was gone after barely a few seconds, replaced with a curiosity and sadness I'd expected.

Her attempt of keeping the peace by way of thanks was unexpected after that look. It made me think there was a deeper reason and feel guilty of my anger for it all at once. Didn't I already say she didn't deserve anger after what she'd lived through. _Nicely played jackass. Ye'll be lucky if she's na terrified of ye!_

She wasn't scared that I could tell though. Just sat back and watched as the argument resumed and escalated. She continued to show no fear even as new sound reached us and Connor and I pulled our weapons. She barely blinked at Romeos usual tact (none) and was even what I'd almost call friendly with the two returned men. Getting to watch her put Connor in his place and staring him down was fuckin' hysterical! The stern words and impressive glare wouldn't do anything to my brother but the fact she'd done it at all spoke volumes. This girl, Beth, wasn't just going to roll over and play dead. She had fire, and I thanked God to see it.

None of us expected to hear just how much she'd been though. Life for everyone had been hard after the infection had gotten out of control, but what she was talking about went beyond being hungry and having to fend off the dead. She was talking about war being waged, with a fuckin' **tank** no less. The mixture of fury and grief when she said the bastard cut her dads head off had me swearing silently that if the fucker were still alive and we found him he wouldn't be alive for long. I could see the promise echoed in Conn's eyes and likely would have in Romeo's too if he hadn't been so busy trying to act like he wasn't about to cry. The story was sad but the man had to learn how to get a grip!

With so much of my attention on my impromptu vow hearing her say she didn't pray for the fucker who'd been ready to violate hers death took me off balance. That's exactly what I'm blaming my outburst for. But honestly hearing her say she didn't want the man dead lit the fire I'd been trying to bank for days all over again. She couldn't possibly be expecting an apology for that waste of humanities death!?

The shocks just kept coming though. She didn't even flinch in the face of my anger, just went right on in and put me in my place. **NO** she didn't wish the fucker was alive. But she made sure I knew what she thought of the rest of the world and their fearful destructive ways. I haven't felt that chastised since the last time Ma laid into me.

I refused to say I was sorry for the outburst though. At least she could take it as a sign we wouldn't let any of that kind of shit happen to her with us. I did try and let her know I accepted what she said with a hopefully reassuring squeeze to the leg I'd let go of in anger.

For a girl who'd just been mauled by a monster she was astoundingly ok with contact, even seemed like she wanted it. It had been impulsive of me and Conn to try and gently bring her back from whatever dark place her mind had taken her to earlier with body contact, but it had worked and the gratitude that had shone in those blue eyes had been worth the continued risk of keeping our hands there. Romeo was practically in her lap while she told us her story, and I could see Duffy's confusion over it all. Being a cop he'd probably had to deal with rape victims before and I'm pretty sure they don't usually like to be touched right after.

Confusing as hell or not if she didn't mind I wasn't going to stop and I doubt Connor would either. That little bit of contact held reassurance for more then just her. Feeling that living heat, even through jeans, was a constant reminder that we didn't fail this girl completely. She was alive and could heal, and nothing short of her telling me to stop would make me give up that small piece of tangible proof I could feel.

She was asleep almost before she hit the ground and for the first few minutes no one broke the silence. What the fuck do you say after hearing something like that?

"Atlanta's gone an' tha CDC blew up."

I usually know what my brother knows so his frank statement had me staring at him in confusion and alarm. When the hell'd he find that out?! How?! And then it clicked. Beth. She said she'd told Connor about a group in the city. I watched comprehension settle over Duffy, and then a sadness I hadn't seen since long before we left Boston. If the city was gone then Smecker and Dolly were probably dead.

Romeo hadn't added it up yet and wasn't taking it gracefully. "What the fucking shit do you mean gone!? Why'd we bother leavin' Boston!?"

"Beth told 'im dumbass, an' be fuckin' quiet before ye wake 'er up. Did she say how long ago Conn? Is there any way their alive?" To come this far just to find out it was for nothing, just dead friends and no answers, was not sitting well with me. There was no way that diva agent would let any dead fuck kill him, Atlanta was huge maybe there was still a safe place they'd holed up.

Connor shook his head and reached over and smacked me in the head. _What tha fuck!_ "I didn' get tha chance ta thanks ta yer _brilliant_ performance of jackassery. What tha fuck did ye think ye were doin'? Did ye want 'er runnin' for tha damn hills?"

Oh so it was my fault was it? "Fuck yerself! What tha fuck did ye think ye were doin'? She shoulda never been moved! Ye were practically in 'er lap fer Christs' sakes! Yer tha one who started throwin' shit!"

Duffy talked right over whatever Connor was going to say. "Both of you shut up! It doesn't matter. We need to figure out what to do about it now though. We can't stay camped out here another day and Beth can barely be moved yet. Were still going for Atlanta?" Nods all around. "Then I say we head for the next town south, Calhoun, and find somewhere to hole up in until she can at least walk on her own.-"

"Why we gotta stop? If she stays in the car she'd be fine."

Duffy glaring at Romeo was nothing new and didn't faze the Mexican a bit. "Because what about the next time we run out of gas? She gonna go with us to find more? If she stayed alone in the car and a group of them came up they could eventually break through. She'd be a sitting duck. We can't keep her out in the woods at night either or she'll get an infection no matter what we do."

"Brian's right. Just makin' it ta tha next towns goin' ta be hard enough on' 'er. She's goin' ta be feelin' tha cut when she wakes up and stayin' in tha car won' help."

Connor offered the other men the pack of smokes before pulling two and handing me a lit one. "We should try an' find a police station while were stuck there. We'll be runnin' low on ammo soon an' maybe no ones it it yet." He said around his own. "Bein' set up in a house'll be nice fer a while anyway." It would, none of us had slept on a bed in weeks.

"Without knowin' more we should just wait an' plan Atlanta right while we have tha chance. Beth probably knows more anyway. Finally found a local." I joked. The air was just to tense, and none of us could afford to dwell on what could be yet.

Romeo cracked a smile and ran a hand through his hair, what he could through the tangle. "Yea well ok. Murphys got first watch tonight so I'm gonna go crash. You pricks keep it down." And with that he went to find a comfortable tree to sleep against. I could read his apprehension about the unknown in the tense line of his shoulders. The man wasn't always a brilliant planner, usually not thinking far enough ahead, but the faith he had in us was fuckin' humbling sometimes. That blind trust he'd given us since damn near day one. Even now he was trusting us to make sure he didn't end up dead.

Duffy, quiet as usual, bid us goodnight and went to search for his own tree. Connor and I weren't moving from the defenseless blondes side so we just settled ourselves against the downed tree on either side of her. If something happened, it'd have to get through at least one of us first.

Silence enveloped the makeshift camp, barely broken by the sound of Georgia woods at night. Now that everything else was mostly out of the way I could focus on something that had been bothering me since coming back and finding her awake.

She'd looked at me like she knew me. The hope that had been there had shone so clearly, like she thought I was someone with all the answers or something. Whatever she saw in me that first instant was something saved for long lost loved ones. The agony in her expression the next second had been hard to have aimed at myself. I hadn't done anything to hurt the girl, didn't even know her, and it was like her eyes were holding me responsible for that happy hope dying so suddenly.

I wanted to talk to Connor about it but didn't want to risk Romeo, and to a smaller extent Duffy, hearing and pestering her about it. Conn might but she seemed down right friendly with him so he might actually get an answer. She'd quickly taken to one of us at least. It was fleeting but she was hesitant with me, like she wasn't sure what to think about me.

"_Conn, did you notice anything when she saw me at first?__" _If either man were still awake neither knew German so it was as private as I'd get for the time being.

"_You mean the look she gave you? Yea I saw it, you think she remembers you from before she passed out?_"

It was something I hadn't thought of but didn't quite fit. "_If it was that what was with the other look. She got it again when she talked about that guy cutting off her dads head. Why that look?_"

He was quiet for a minute, long enough I thought he just wasn't going to respond. "_You're probably right. She didn't seem to remember me at all, she was skittish but nothing that bad._" It didn't sound like he was finished so I let him think. If she didn't recognize him it was still possible she had simply been focused on me at the time, but it still felt wrong. Like working on a puzzle and trying to fit a piece where it didn't belong because it **looked** like that's where it should be. "_Maybe you look like someone she knew?_"

And just like that it made sense. I reminded her of someone and if she thought I was them having that hope ripped away after what she'd been through probably crushed her. If she thought I was one of her lost group I was defiantly going to be a disappointment. "_She likes you more. That hasn't happened since Shannon O'Brien when we were 17... Is it normal for her to be so…put together after all that shit? The women back North were still flinching at blood when we left and she's talking about someone beheading her Da like it was just a bit of bad weather._" I wanted to ignore her strange behavior, just be content with being grateful not to have a hysterical female no one would know what to do with. I nearly didn't ask it. But what if something was more wrong with her then we thought? Trauma did things to people, and as much as I felt strangely attached to the girl we couldn't risk not questioning it.

Conn looked just about as happy about the topic as I was. "_I think she was still mostly in shock, or at least I hope so. She wasn't in nearly as much pain as she should have been otherwise. Once it's all worn out… who knows? I don't think she's crazy, more like overwhelmed, probably can't figure out what to focus on with all the bad._" He spared a glance down to the mass of blonde curls covering the sleeping girls face. "_I think we're just going to have to deal with it like Atlanta. We don't know enough yet, for now we watch and try and figure it out later._"

The wait and see method was never one of my favorites, as evidenced by the many fights I'd been a part of. I didn't think the girl would ever be a danger to any of us, she was just to small, but we rarely got the chance to spend time with any of the people we tried to protect.

As the "Saints" there were just so many evil men to choose from and while with the mafia and gangs we could interfere before something big went down if we heard about it. The way those types of organizations ran they had random unplanned killings, but much of what they did was planned out far in advance and easy targets to screw with. Evil that worked on its own, the rapists of the world, the people who killed randomly because they enjoyed it, was harder to get to before the harm was done. Beth had been hurt but ultimately it could have been **much **worse. We just didn't have much experience with dealing with the aftermath beyond putting lead in bodies.

We were no strangers to strong women, all you had to do was take a look at our Ma, but strong or not she couldn't have possibly come to terms with what had happened to her yet. I wanted to be there for her, protect her from the thoughts bound to come eventually, wanted to make a difference in her life. She was right when she said there were too few of the living left and I couldn't stand for one of the few good ones to feel pain like that. Even if Atlanta was a complete bust I didn't see us leaving Georgia before looking for anyone she knew. She still had a sister somewhere (if she was still alive) and I couldn't even imagine being separated from Connor, let alone after watching someone cold bloodedly murder our father.

Enough time had passed that it was officially Connors watch now, though I doubt either of us would be sleeping so it didn't much matter. The woods continued to stay quiet, only the low buzz of various insects (And fuckin' shit they were huge down here!) could be heard. I didn't expect to hear any moaning after both Conn and myself had hunted down any dead we'd found even remotely close to the camp but you could never be sure. The damn things had a bad tendency of being able to sneak up on you at the worst times, and we'd lost more than one person to a quiet carcass popping out of nowhere.

_The streets of South Boston were loud with the screams of those unfortunate enough to get caught in the massive wave of infected bodies that had broken through the National Guard quarantine barriers barley an hour ago. Reports had suddenly stopped being aired over the radio just minutes before the crazed flesh hungry bodies had started tearing into anything within reach. _

_We'd managed to make it to the bar and get Doc out but were trapped now in a building abandoned by the terrified living. There were bodies littered about the floor, all of them with some kind of head wound. There were a few that we couldn't help but notice didn't have any kind of bite or scratch mark that usually came with the infected bodies. Whoever had been here had killed everything not just the dead. _

_Walking over the corpses was nerve wracking, and in Docs case slow. Between the mans tourette's and fear it was taking him longer to maneuver around the lifeless bodies. Romeo was already at the end of the hall trying to break into a boarded up door and Eunice was bringing up the rear with Duffy. We were lucky they'd gotten past the guards stationed around the barricade and only flashing her Special Agents badge had gotten them in. _

_Three of us had already passed over the body of a little girl who couldn't have been older then 10, her arm a mangled mess partially covered in bandages. Someone had tried to save her. As Doc was moving on to avoid the next body in line no one expected the dead girl to reach for him. With his balance already questionable he hit the ground hard when the undamaged arm grabbed him from behind. Faster then any of us could aim she'd already taken a bite out of the older mans stomach, his screams filled the air and the girls head practically exploded against the onslaught of bullets in the next second. _

_It was all too late though. The bite wasn't deep, and while we tried to care for the old man we all cared for eventually the fever was too much. We learned to never take a quiet body for a truly dead one again…_

As much as I was craving sleep to avoid having to deal with the situation if only for a few hours I stubbornly remained awake through the next watch change. Duffy was a good man, had been a good detective, but it never hurt to have extra eyes.

Not long after that the line shook and proved no one but Beth was asleep anyway. Fear and anxiety were pretty powerful stimulants. Already Connor was putting himself in front of the girl so I started in the direction of the disturbance. A second rattling of the alarm line and I watched in part horror part frustration as Beth shot up and bit her lip to prevent herself from crying out. If the damn girl didn't stay down the cut was never going to heal! The rabbit, who merrily made its way past seemed, completely unrepentant for the trouble it caused.

Connors hushed "Easy girl, ye need ta breathe." Had me back at her side in an instant. She had her eyes squeezed shut, tears had escaped a few at a time and she was holding her entire body drawn tight like a bow string. If she didn't let go of the tension soon it was just going to hurt her more later. "Common Beth it was just a wee little rabbit, if ye take a breath the pain'll go away." False promise as it was I didn't call him on it.

Her left hand seemed to have a death grip on Connors arm, the nails nearly drawing blood, so I took her other hand in one of mine and used the other to wipe the tears from her face. "Yer safe Beth, we won' let anythin' happen ta ye as long as yer with us. _Calmez-vous maintenant petit ange. La douleur va disparaître bientôt_. "

She took a shallow, shuttered, breath a few seconds later, and the hand in mine relaxed marginally. Connor ran his free hand through the dirty blonde hair around her face and her eyes shot open and looked directly into mine. Beyond the physical pain I could see in them that earlier sadness was back, like my mere presence was tearing her world to pieces. It was only there for a second but she couldn't hide it. She continued her intense staring contest with me until Connor pulled her attention to him. "_Essayez de me concentrer sur ma petite voix. Essayez de ne pas penser à la douleur._" I'd never been so happy to have a woman ignore me in my life. Everything about the girl practically screamed "soft", "sweet", and "innocent" and with her looking at me so deeply, so full of pain, I felt powerless and didn't appreciate the feeling.

A few more minutes passed, where Connor and I just kept telling her to breathe, sometimes in English, sometimes not. She responded well to the French and both of us continued to slip into it as she calmed down. Eventually her breathing evened out completely and she even gave a small shove at us. The "shove" itself was little more than a hand to each of our chests and did nothing to move us away. She made small protesting sounds but I didn't want to take the chance of going too far.

Our little blonde spitfire didn't take long to take offence to the "hovering" as she called it and managed to drag Duffy into it. The older man telling us to ease up on her was the last thing I wanted to hear, he was supposed to be on our side dammit, and besides we weren't "hovering" we were just making sure she wouldn't hurt herself.

Now that she had an ally we were forced to back down a little, but we didn't go far. Conn even offered his lap as a pillow and I had a moment of wonder that this half-starved 5 foot nothing girl had us wrapped around her little finger so quickly.

**_~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD_**

**And it's finally done! I promise there will be much less retelling from different povs from now on. That was just to help set things up but from here on were moving forward… slowly… but that's still forward right? **

**I about cried when I killed Doc off *****_dodges randomly thrown sharp objects_***** but realistically he wouldn't have made it long as lovable as he is. **

**I hope everyone liked Murphy! He has the longest chapter by almost a 1,000 words all for himself.**

**The French the boys used to calm her down: **

_Calmez-vous maintenant petit ange. La douleur va disparaître bientôt_. **Calm down now little angel. The pain will go away soon.**

_Essayez de me concentrer sur ma petite voix. Essayez de ne pas penser à la douleur. _**Try and focus on my voice little one. Try not to think about the pain.**

**For those of you who have reviewed I love you ALL (even the prick who said I disgusted him in another language like I wouldn't figure it out).**

**Lilac: I hope the part with the boys trying to calm her down was close. Thank you for your review. I might not always be able to put something in, or if I do it might not be what you were thinking but I will try and appreciate all constructive criticism. **


	7. And You're a Girl SoAhYea

_**Lilac: I'm so happy that you liked it. I had actually gone back and put more in after reading your review and I was worried it wouldn't live up to what you were hoping. I hope this is a little more your style lol.**_

_**Belladcmum: Awwww your to sweet. I love your reviews, they always make me smile!**_

_**Anon: Thank you for all of your generous reviews. I hope you either have an account or get one soon. I couldn't tell if you were asking a question or not but if you do PM me so I don't give away something someone else might want to be surprised about, or yourself for that matter. Don't want to give it away unless being asked!**_

_**LeighAnnardo Da Vinci: Loved the idea of reviewing in French! But please, Lord, no! I took the class twice before I decided I couldn't take the failure any more lol. I also loved the review and hope you keep enjoying!**_

_**Jaimek45: Thanks!**_

_**Veszpremimaria7: Last but certainly not least! Thank you for all of your fantastic help! I can't say I'd have continued to post this without someone to talk to. You always have something great to say overall and help to pin down things not otherwise fully formed. Your patient with me when I say some weirdness has a purpose and even don't call me an idiot after I tell you "oh no its fine it's supposed to be like that" then reread it and say "nope your totally right! There's whole sentences missing!"**_

_**I don't own crap. Don't sue me. It's not worth the effort. **_

_**Chapter 7: She Was a Girl and You're a Girl So…Ah…Yea?**_

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

I swear to god if whoever was trying to take my pillow didn't stop in the next three seconds I was gonna cry. I'd experienced pain before but nothing had prepared me for the white hot agony that spread over every inch of my body, and felt like concentrated hell over my abdomen. My pillow was nearly taken again and I strived to keep my hold on it. Why couldn't the pillow thief leave me alone!? Soft, deep chuckling snapped my tired brain awake and I realized my "pillow" was Connors leg, and that both he and Murphy were laughing at my attempt at keeping said leg in my arms. "'M goin' ta need that. I promise ye can have it back later." and my brain was just not awake enough for this yet.

I let the man go but made no move to sit up. There was no way I was going to be able to travel like this and thoughts of being left behind were floating around my head taunting me. Gentle taps to my cheek wouldn't leave me alone so I pried my eyes open and was met with unruly dark hair, deep blue eyes, and a smile that looked just a little bit devious. A few more taps and I guess I passed for awake. "Goin' ta pick ye up, don' want ta scare ye. The cars only a few minutes walk an' ye can stretch out there. Bet ye feel like hell huh?" and the blatant concern when he asked that let me forgive him for the stupid question, of course I felt like hell!

I suppose I wasn't expected to take part in the conversation though and the next second Murphy had one arm under my knees, the other around my back, and I was up in the air. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck and the movement brought my face inches from his. Looking from this close the differences from my hunter were less noticeable and my chest ached painfully in a whole new way. How would I survive with this group if every time I looked at this man I saw Daryl? I could only hope time would lessen the feeling.

The short trip through the trees was made in silence, Connor walking a few steps ahead knife drawn and attention focused outward. Murphy carried me like he didn't even notice I was there, but his arms were like iron rods around me and his eyes were cold and hard as he surveyed the surrounding wilderness. It reminded me sharply of Daryl again, how he looked as he made his way through any unknown situation, all senses on high alert. I shoved the mental image away and refocused my attention on the man carrying me. That was a difference I could see up close. Daryl had given me a piggyback ride but I'd been able to feel how uncomfortable with the contact he'd been in the way his body had visually relaxed once he'd put me down. Murphy held me in his arms like he could not only hold me like that all day, but that he'd do it gladly. Metal like arms aside, the way he held me close, practically curling his body around mine as he walked, how his hands were purposely gentle where they cradled me to him, was overall very safe feeling and comfortable. The same ride would not have gone as smoothly with the rednecks aversion to most all contact.

Once the road was visible through the trees I could hear Duffy and Romeo having a hushed argument. I couldn't make out the words but the tone was both heated and exasperated. Both clammed up before we made it close enough to hear properly and I tried to ignore the fact they were likely hiding whatever it was from me specifically. Romeo gave me a wide smile and a nearly whole arm wave, "Morning girl! Hey you get most of the back bench to yourself but we only got room for three up front, who ya want in the back with you?"

Secret aside I hadn't expected a group of men, all of whom were pretty manly, to even think of giving me a choice and it reassured me again I'd made the right call in trusting them. Moving my face into what I hoped was a smile I wiggled my fingers in a wave. "I don't know? Can't ya'll play rock paper scissors or somethin'?" My human ride got a little shaky as Murphy started laughing. Connor looked amused when he shook his head. "We'd never get anywhere, Murph an' I never bin able ta play long enough ta get a winner."

"Fine, then Duffy." I didn't want to waste time on the side of the road. Picking the older man also had the benefit of putting some space between myself and the twins excessive hovering. It might also give me a chance to get to know the quiet older man. He looked a little surprised at my declaration but didn't say no. Romeo was giving me a hilariously over exaggerated pout and both brothers looked disappointed but were grinning all the same.

"Well lookit tha fellas! I think she's already got a favorite!" Connor crowed climbing into the drivers seat. Murphy valiantly tried to maneuver me onto the bench seat without forcing me to move but it just wasn't going to work. It took an extra few minutes and I was grateful when it was over, I wasn't looking forward to getting out later.

Before closing the door his arm snaked behind the seat and pulled a lumpy pillowcase back. "Bit uneven but it should serve well enough. Try an' go back ta sleep."

"Definitely won't be a problem." I was hesitating bringing my legs up. If I did then my feet would be in Duffy's lap and he hadn't exactly volunteered for the seat. He rolled his eyes at me and lifted my feet to his lap himself. Murphy took the window seat in the front row after a brief, and fairly one sided, wrestling match with Romeo. They had a rock CD in the player and had the volume low, just enough to provide some background noise. None of the men were speaking and the rhythm of the bass was gently vibrating the bench under me was soothing. I tried to stay awake for at least a few minutes, just so I wouldn't look like a complete wuss, but was quickly losing the fight to sleep.

~~~~~

The sun was high in the sky when car doors closing dragged me from sleep a second time. I was in no less pain then earlier but I knew what to expect and it helped make it tolerable. The front seat was empty and Duffy was standing just outside his open door. I had no idea what city they'd stopped in but the neighborhood was nice and full of larger houses, many of which were either burned out or boarded up. I couldn't think of anything in the area that would be worth the risk of raiding one of the houses, far too many places for walkers to be trapped and able to pop out of nowhere.

I was able to just make out Romeo and Murphy vanishing through the front door of the closest boarded up home, I didn't see Connor though and assumed he must have already went in. "Duffy why are we stopped? What are they lookin' for?"

He actually jumped a little and I couldn't help the giggle. The man looked adorable all flustered trying to hide that he'd been caught off guard. "We haven't seen any dead ones for a while and these houses have enough space that we won't be on top of each other for the next week or two while you rest up and heal. Trust me you'll appreciate the room." and the long suffering sigh that accompanied the statement had me giggling again before the full weight of his explanation crashed into me. They weren't going to leave me behind because they were stopping for an undetermined amount of time specifically for me. As terrible as I felt for slowing them down the kindness in the action gave me my first true hope in weeks.

The hope made me brave and I carefully scooted closer to the open door. "Is Duffy your real name or a nickname?" His expression was priceless, caught between confusion and amusement. "My first name is Brian. Not the question I'd have expected?" and it sounded like a question.

"There's no reason to stay strangers right? It was the first thing I could think of." His answering smile melted years from his appearance.

"You're absolutely right. So were you born in Georgia or just passing through?" Nice safe question and it earned him bonus points.

"Born and raised. The old farm was in our family for over 100 years. We stayed holed up there for a few months after the outbreak before we got overrun. Were you born in Boston?" The conversation was sounding normal in the face of reality. It was refreshing to ask about something so inconsequential.

"Na, 'bout an hour from away and moved there right outta high school. Did you go to college before all this?" He seemed to be enjoying the easy topics as much as I was and I found myself hoping it would take a while longer to clear the large house so it wouldn't have to end.

"I was still in high school, I think I'm close to nineteen. I lost track a few times. I would be in college now if they still existed. Did you ever go?"

The purely satisfied male smile told me he was thinking about fond memories. I'd never get to experience that kind of freedom, and the insanity it seems to inspire people in the beginning. I was just happy to have 16 happy years to think back on, alot of kids had less and any born now would have no idea what things used to be like except what they heard in stories. "Boston U, right outta the army. Criminal Justice degree. I should probably regret some of it but I certainly made the most of it. What did you want to major in?"

I know I had to be blushing. Back in the day when I told people what I wanted to do they said it was "school" not "college" and I hesitated a moment. _Screw it! Not like it matters anymore anyway._ "I wanted to be a chef. I love to cook and wanted to have my own restaurant one day. If any of ya'll know how ta hunt I make a mean venison chili if I can find some spices." by the end he was giving me a strange look, like something I'd said was hugely important.

"You can cook? Even wild game?"

It dawned on me then that none of them seemed like they would have known what a kitchen, a proper one, would have even looked like before the turn. They probably hadn't had "cooked" food in quite some time, at least since they'd started going south. "Yea! We had a really great hunter that kept us in a pretty good supply. He was also the guy I was with before those guys grabbed me, we were eating **alot** of squirrel so I know about a thousand ways ta cook that. Can anyone hunt?" If someone did I could finally feel at least a tiny bit useful.

He'd opened his mouth to answer when a sharp whistle brought our attention back to the house. I guess 20 questions was over for now. Connor stood in the front door making hand signals that meant diddly to me. Brian signed something back and Connor vanished back inside. "They've cleared it without problems. They'll take the bodies out before we bring anything in."

"Oh well, cool. Do you think we'll get lucky enough and the place'll be on a well?" I missed running water, badly...I was filthy and would put up with any amount of pain if it meant getting even a little cleaner.

He must have been thinking along the same lines. His eyes cut to my semi bared midriff where I was stitched before he spoke. "If there is you'll have to be careful with the stitches. We passed a clinic and hospital on the way in we were going to search through but right now were down to alcohol tabs."

All three men exited towards us big smiles on their faces. "Ye won' believe it! They got a half full propane tank an' a gas stove! There's plenty ta last till we leave. Neighbors next door got a garden too. Were lucky tha weathers not been cold." Connor shared as he grabbed bag after bag from the back hatch.

The darker brother came around to my side of the SUV and gave me a wide grin that made his already handsome face even more attractive. The teenage hormones I'd thought long dead gave a cliché girly sigh that I stubbornly refused to acknowledge. If ever there wasn't a time for that it was now. The trip into the house was short and it wasn't until Murphy was standing in what used to be a living room that I noticed the lack of rotting flesh smell. "I thought there were walkers trapped in here?"

"All upstairs. Looked like a panic room. Kept the smell in at least." The hard look was back in his eyes and I felt a bit sad at being the cause. It was gone after only a few seconds and I wished I knew what exactly had triggered it. It could have just been the thought of the walkers but something in me said it was bigger than that.

The silence stretched on into awkward as I tried to find a safer topic. "Were ya'll on the police force with Brian?" It worked, the hard edge softened into laughter I could feel deep in his chest.

Grinning down at me like I'd just told the funniest joke he'd ever heard he opened and closed his mouth a few times before anything actually came out. "We worked with 'im an' others a fair few times but nothin' in the official sense." The mischievous glint to his eyes tipped me off that he knew exactly what he was doing giving such a cryptic answer.

If anyone asked later I was going to blame the pain for my spectacularly immature response, which included flicking him in the chest (dear God it was like flicking a **rock**) and sticking out my tongue. The last thing I expected was for him to return the gesture and one up me by adding a squinting glare.

I was laughing so hard my stomach was hurting and I was convinced he was going to drop me when Connor and Romeo walked into the room piled high with cushions and pillows that must have come from all over the house. Both dumped their loads around the fireplace set in one of the walls. Neither seemed to know what to make of the scene, and were just standing there confused, and it made me laugh even harder. Honestly it wasn't **that** funny but it felt like it had been years since I'd been so relaxed, seriously injured or otherwise. Brian came in then and took one look at everybody, offered a "I'm too old for this." and walked right back out.

It broke the other two men from their silent states and Connor joined me in laughing. "If yer tryin' ta tell 'er who tha older brother is couldn' ye find a less embarassin' way?"

Murphy's reaction was whiplash quick. He stopped making faces at me and glared at his brother, carefully flipping him off as best he could with his hold on me. "Fuck ye! We both know I'm tha older one! Ma even confirmed it!"

Connors laughing face turned sickly sour. "Tha was jus' bad timin' on 'er part. I'd bin icin' mine an' ye know it!"

The argument sounded old and entertaining but the strain of my positioning and earlier laughing was quickly becoming too much. "Can ya'll debate this after puttin' me down?" and immediately three pairs of eyes snapped in my direction, the fight forgotten like flipping a switch. _I wonder if their brains ever get tired jumpin' from one thing to another like that?_

Connor started kicking pillows around, creating an almost nest like semi-circle around the fireplace and Murphy had me snuggled (i.e. practically buried.) amongst the multitude of padding. Romeo passed me a power bar and bottle of water before plopping down next to me and waving the brothers off. "I got Beth watch remember assholes? Go bug Duffman."

"Beth watch?" I asked, the frosty tone getting me cautious looks. "I'm hurt, notta child that needs watchin'. What the hell's there to watch? Me sleepin'?" Romeo had stared scooting away from me and both brothers had their hands up in surrender but no one was making a move to be the first one to talk.

Finally Murphy sacrificed Connor by shoving him forward. He looked deeply uncomfortable and wasn't trying to make eye contact. "It wasn' watchin' per se. More like we'd be a gofer for ye, ye know, if ye got thirsty or somethin'. Ye can barely move girl, we wouldn' leave ye alone anyway. Jus' in case."

They meant it as someone being there to help me but I couldn't focus past the "Beth watch". Back at the farm after my stupid suicide attempt they'd had a normal watch, that took place at the different lookouts that had been set up, and then there was the Beth watch. People who would sit with me at all hours making sure I wouldn't try anything else. I'd accepted it grudgingly then, I'd acted like a child and I was being babysat like one, it was my own doing. And now their otherwise well thought out and overall very sweet plan was bring back bitter memories.

I forced myself to swallow back the negative. "Sorry just brought back some bad things. Not your fault. Thank you for thinking of me." This time I was the one avoiding eye contact. Even among the less then happy memories thinking of Maggie made me wish she was here with me. I got lucky with these men. They were kind, generous, and thoughtful in their own manly way but they were still strangers I'd only barely met yesterday and I'd give just about anything to have a member of our prison family here. Murphy looked like he could have been Daryls twin, not Connors, but his personality was so far off from the stoic hunters that it only made me miss the older man more.

The three looked relived and the brothers left the room quickly and it made me feel even worse knowing it was because of me. They'd literally gone out of their way to save my life and were putting finding their own people on hold to give me time to heal. How do I repay it? By being a bitch over a stupid misunderstanding that was all me.

Romeo was still where he'd ultimately stopped trying to get away from me and seemed to be trying to decide what to do. "I really am sorry. None of ya could have known it had any meaning. I…think I'll just go to sleep for a while if ya want to get away from the crazy girl." I didn't want him stuck there with me if my outburst had upset him.

His happy smile came back like it'd never gone. "No way girl! Your way better company then those overgrown leprechauns, hellova lot nicer too. Sorry for bringin' up bad memories. You ah… you wanna talk about it?" The sheer dread that I would take him up on his offer was clear in his voice but he didn't back down from it. I didn't think any of them were used to having a female around for long periods of time and I was sure the last thing the man wanted was a weepy or angry one he would feel he couldn't get away from, but talking about my suicide attempt was about as high on my list as talking about my family. If it wasn't said out loud it didn't exist yet.

"No that's ok thanks though. I really am tired and these pillows are softer then anything I've slept on in years." I proved myself honest when a yawn blindsided me. "Can we just get to know eachother a bit instead?"

It was like I was giving him a gift. His face lit up and his whole body joined the conversation. "I got a fucking ton of questions. Is it always this fuckin' hot down here? Is there some down south remedy to get the bugs to fuck off? Is there anything near Calhoun Georgia that we **need** to see, like that worlds biggest ball a yarn or some shit? We've been avoiding going through bigger towns are the, what the fucked you call 'em? Walkers. Worse in cities or the woods? We can't get away from the fucking things. Conn says Atlanta's dead too, any chance someone like way fuckin' genius like could be alive in there? Man if that crazy bastards alive he's gonna be _**pissed**_ if he's been stuck there this whole time. The Feds indestructible I swear! Even came back from the fucking dead, and not in the I want to eat your flesh variety either. Faked the whole damn thing! He won't be happy about Bloom so just pray he don't stick himself to you. Ah what the fuck am I talkin' about? The boy'sd shoot his fairy ass if he bugged ya to much. Fuckin' wish they'd help me out sometimes."

I'm not sure if I was supposed to be able to follow all of that, but what questions he'd asked I kept track of and the rest I filed under "figure out when brain feels better". He'd gotten closer to me in his ramblings, though not as close as when he'd first sat down, but I was happy to see I hadn't managed to totally foul up the one good thing I had going right now. "It's almost winter, so don't worry, soon you'll be missin' all this heat. I never heard of anything up this way but nature stuff and war reenactments. Somehow I'm guessing you weren't thinking of a nice paddle down a river though. Ummm what else… Oh garlic helps with the bugs but not much and that's as good as I've got." I was mentally ticking off questions, "I didn't get out of the prison much once we were all set up, only if I needed something really specific for Judith and Glenn said he'd watch me. I was decent against just a few walkers but I was the youngest and it was just easier to let Maggie be Supergirl."

That had been a sore spot too. I wasn't that young, years older than Carl who would strut around the place, gun in hand, like he'd single handedly keep everyone in line. It wasn't like I'd **wanted** to go risk my life or anything, just that it would have been nice if not everyone had looked at me like I just **couldn't** do it. Once we'd gotten to the prison it was like everyone forgot I'd been there too for the months spent cold and starving on the road, trying to stay one step ahead of the herds. I'd counted myself lucky Daryl hadn't dumped me the second we'd made our way from the prison as dead weight.

"Daryl was teaching me more so between the practice of living in the woods and that I've gotten pretty good." I really didn't want these men thinking I couldn't handle myself. I had a chance to prove it if they wouldn't coddle me like they were now. "They seem to be everywhere though. Never heard someone come back from a run and say they didn't see a single one, if ya know what I mean. And who's "the fed"? All of you have mentioned him. I guess if someone were _**really**_ careful they could be hiding out somewhere in the city…Is he that smart?" If this guy was still alive and in that hoard infested city he have to be either very smart or very lucky. And then something else he said clicked. "And why exactly would he stick to me?"

"Ah that's just kinda him. He stuck to the brothers and the other detectives, hell even me. Bloom was another agent. I guess he handpicked her or something, they were close. She didn't make it outta Boston though and she was a girl and you're a girl so…ah…yea? Even if he does it's a good thing! Guys fruiter then a pie eating contest and a bit of a bitch but he'll keep ya alive. You think your Daryl dudes still alive?"

The smile was probably unexpected, the question being pretty personal, but I couldn't help it. "Daryl Dixon will be the last man standing. I told him that drunk on moonshine once. I told him he was gonna miss me when I was gone. Go figure I'd be so right so quick huh?" And while I felt like I should be a little sad at that I wasn't. I knew the redneck was alive, and I was taken in by overprotective men seemingly hell bent on taking care of me. Things were going to be ok.

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**If I don't stop here I'm not sure I will stop so yea… stopping… Like I said things will be moving forward now but it'll be slow. Beth got to know Duffy a little bit (He will be referred to as Brian in Beths chapters because when she thinks of him now its as Brian not Duffy) and I don't think Romeo quite got what she was thinking about but that's ok because at least they've talked now.**

**Beth will not be a weakling in this, and the men aren't going to know what to do with a girl who wants a knife to go a stabbin' with. Just something to look forward to in the next week or two. **

**Let me know what you think of the "interaction" and if I'm doin' it right. **

**Last thing. Beths dialog changes up a little sometimes. Accents aren't just how you say a word but your very voice. I hear Beth with a southern drawl but when she's emotional about something it starts affecting her words. I'm trying to write her like that, just in case it confused anyone.**

**Hit me up and let me know what you thought? Did I nail it or my own coffin? **


	8. A Picture Talks Louder Then Words

**FIRST PLEASE GO VOTE! FOR WHO YOU WANT TO SEE BETH WITH!**

**Seriously I can't decide and I need help. All it takes is like three clicks of your mouse I swear! **

**To all the beautiful people who reviewed- THANKYOU! Dani- Seriously go watch "The Boondock Saints" it'll complete your life lol.**

**P.S. I'm in the market for a Beta to read over this (Vez I will miss you!) and make sure I don't ramble indecently. If you think that could be you let me know in a review or pm me. **

**I'm pretty sure we all realize I don't own anyone by now right?**

**Chapter 8: A Picture Talks Louder Then Words**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

I knew the twins had explosive personalities and tempers, had seen it first-hand several times over the last few days but this time was worse. Whether it was because they thought they were right, or that they had the other two men firmly on their side this time.

I'd managed to convince all of them that making a run to any of the larger buildings was stupid without all of them, that I'd be fine on my own for a few hours. Brian was on my side for that one. They'd been in the middle of planning it when I woke up and heard they were going to be a man short to leave here with me. I'm willing to admit it might not have turned into an argument if I hadn't started out with where they could shove their Beth Watch.

It had only degenerated from there. Murphy had taken the very loud opinion that they didn't need all four of them and that it wasn't up for discussion. Connor took the lower tactic of reminding me I was fine with that arrangement just a few hours earlier. I'd promptly told Murphy he was right it wasn't up for discussion, all of them were going, and Connor that I'd be fine with it as long as it meant they weren't taking stupid, pointless risks. Romeo declared he wasn't taking a side and Brian just didn't say anything.

It wasn't until I'd started threatening the only way I'd stay still was if they tied me down if they left someone behind and Murphy had responded with a "Well fuck me then! Conn where tha fucks tha goddamn rope?" that he took my side. Later he took me aside and told me that he agreed with me but threats wouldn't work against the brothers. I'd thought he was upset with me until he finished with, "If you need to win an argument just look like your gonna cry, they'll do just about anything to keep a woman from crying." and gave me a quick shoulder squeeze, and an understanding smile, that I realized as long didn't fight with them about anything to trivial I'd have at least one ally.

The peace hadn't lasted long before tempers flared again. Connor had given me almost three times more food then any of themselves and stubbornly refused to redistribute evenly. He had a vein ticking at his temple and his teeth so tightly clenched by the time he blew up it was hard to understand what he was saying. "If ye don' eat how tha fuck do ye think ye'll heal, magic?"

The insult to my intelligence had tipped the scales from marginally angry to self-righteous fury. "No I don't think some fairys gonna fly outta your ass, wave its magic wand and POOF all better ya dick! Ya'll are twice my size or more in case ya haven't noticed, and are plannin' a run! Ya've already stopped for me, I ain't takin' food outta your mouths too! I know ya've done it before but it's stoppin' now!" If I could stand I'd have tried to get in his face to make a better point, as it was all I could do was wrap it up with a well-placed finger.

He'd gone red at that point and got to his feet with jerky movements. "Why can' ye just be happy an' drop it like a normal lass huh?"

"So what? Now it's not because I'm hurt it's cuz Imma _girl_?! Are ya freakin' kidding me with this?" I could tell I wasn't going to win this way and I remembered Brian's advice. It wasn't hard to come up with a few tears "I can't even finish all this! It's just gonna be a waste!" I was a little out of practice with this particular trick and worried I'd laid it on a little thick, the last time I'd used it was to convince Daddy to let me get a job.

Connor went from Irish temper to panicked man at the first fat tear that rolled down my cheek. Before I'd even stopped talking he'd gotten back down on the ground and was making shushing noises, hands up in surrender. "Shhh shh shh yer right. Ye know yer body I shouldn' be forcin' ye. Jus' please don' cry. Here I'll take that extra bit out ta Murph an' he can eat early. Is tha' ok?" And that was how I won round two. I was just happy Murphy had been outside on watch, I'm not sure what my chances would have been if they'd both been there.

We were in the middle of round 3 now and they'd grouped up on me. They left for the Hospital, and anywhere else that looked useful, early in the morning and came back late enough in the afternoon that the sun was already half sun below the horizon in the distance and stars could be seen in the sky. The SUV had to have been packed full with how much they were hauling in. Each was covered in sweat, blood, some scattered brain, and over all that a thick layer of dirt and large grins. They brought everything to the large pile of pillows I swore I wouldn't move from when they'd left and sat with me while we sorted through it all.

I learned Romeo's Uncle Cesar had owned a bar that he helped out at when things were busy, Brian had known the brothers for years before the infection, and the twins had moved to Boston from their home in Ireland just a little over ten years prior. I also learned they knew enough languages to piss off just about anybody. I could tell they mainly switched to something foreign to rile up Romeo for their own entertainment but I could see where the Hispanic man was coming from. I'd taken Spanish and Italian in school, and had been decent then, but they spoke with a fluency I'd never had and repeatedly switched dialects, even mid-sentence, and I soon found myself fuming alongside Romeo.

It wasn't until a sack of prescription bottles and gauze was upended to go through that things went south. Romeo had practically dived on the pile of drugs before tossing one of the plastic bottles at me. "Found a whole cabinet fulla the good shit. One of them little white pills right there'll kick like a pissed off zebra when they hit but then you'll be flyin' high like Yippee ky Yay motha fucka!"

I sat staring at the little bottle for a minute, trying to decide if the pain was enough to use them. The men were high on a great find but I knew most places were getting picked clean and it was lucky they'd come across as much as they had. The pills wouldn't help me heal any faster, and if I could stand the pain they should really be saved for the next serious injury. I was mostly past the worst of what I'd be going through anyway, and as long as I took care when I moved I should be fine without them. "Thanks but ya'll should save these. I'll be fine without them and it's not like they'll be able to do much for me at this point anyway. Some of you look a little injury prone." I had caught sight of several bullet wounds on each man and if we passed another unfriendly group I'd much rather have the drugs for then. I knew from watching my Dad that pulling out a bullet cold was a painful process and everyone had learned the hard way, better safe than sorry.

Apparently not taking them was going to be an issue though and the first shot of the round was taken by the person I'd least expected. Brian had an irritated look on his face, brows drawn together and down in a very unhappy look when he said "This isn't something that you'll win Beth, just take the pills." My ally was gone but I knew I was in the right on this.

"No. The pains not all that bad, nuthin' I can't handle. What if somethin' happens and ya need these pills?"

I was surprised again when it still wasn't the brothers speaking up, even though their faces had gone hard and their bodies completely still. Romeo was the one giving me a hard time now. "**Bullshit.** You have a muscle in your neck, jumps like its being electrocuted every time you sit up. Take the dumbass pills and make everyone happy?"

I was seriously not liking my chances at this point. "But-"

"But nothin' girl. Ye'll be takin' tha pills. Doesn't matter ta any of us if ye think yer fine. Yer not. This don' have ta be a big deal now does it?" I'm beginning to think Connor was the calm before the storm, Murphy looked positively furious.

I was out numbered and surrounded… damn. "I'll take half of one at a time. They won't go as fast and I won't be quoting action movies, deal?" Compromise felt like it wasn't total defeat and something I could live with.

"No deal. There were plentya drugs an' yer tiny, ye probably couldn' go through tha whole bottle if ye tried. There's no point savin' 'em when yer in pain. Ye even get ta choose what ta wash it down with. Water or whiskey, we like ye or we wouldn' even offer tha whiskey, were gettin' low." Murphy certainly sounded calm but his eyes were glacier. I almost went for the tears again before I realized it would only make things worse.

Fine they wanted me to take the stupid things so bad they were at least going to make it worth the fight. I popped one of the pills into my mouth and grabbed the offered liquor. I only took a small mouthful and still almost lost a lung after swallowing. The men were happy now and the twins were caught between laughing at my spectacular lack of drinking skills and concern over the coughing fit. Laughter won as soon as they figured out I wasn't in serious pain thanks to the rough movement.

Murphy grabbed the bottle back from me and took a considerably larger mouthful and had the good grace to give me a huge smile as he drank it back like water. "Come now girl. Ye said ye were at least close ta 19 didn' ye? Tha good stuffs few an' far between now but ye can' be tellin' us that was yer first!"

"Aye, ye may look like an angel but ye can' tell me tha ol' halo don' have a few spots." And Connor followed it up with two long pulls from the bottle after snatching it from his brother.

I could feel the blush all the way down my chest. A lot of people thought of me as a goody-goody back before the end, and back in the prison it was no better. Daryl had particular fun breaking me from drinking "fancy" as he'd called it. Said if I'd wanted to drink I wasn't going to be taking any "damn sissy-ass sips" and by the end of the night I was drinking like I'd done it a thousand times before. The moonshine had been a lot smoother then whatever they had in the bottle though. I could just hear the redneck now "_Common girl I know I taughtcha bettern that! Whad I tell ya 'bout them sissy-ass little girl sips? Makin' me look bad, if ya gonna drink fuckin' __**drink**__!"_ I wasn't sure if it was the little bit of booze I'd already had or not but I suddenly wanted to prove something to these arrogant men, what that something was I hoped I figured it out before I made a fool of myself.

"I've drank before. The moonshine tasted better."

Brian looked up interested, he'd already had his turn for a shot. "You mentioned being drunk on moonshine, sounded like a good story."

The bottle looked only about half full by the time it made its way back to Murphy and he capped it. The pills must have hit faster thanks to the alcohol if I was this disappointed. I never got to prove anything! However the greenish bottle was simply replaced with a clear one labeled vodka and my brief bout of negativity flew out the window. "We try an' make tha good stuff last." Connor explained. "Vodkas practically tha water of tha drinkin' world. Probably na as good as yer moonshine though." If he was trying to be slick he'd failed.

The blush was back though and I tried to go back to the task at hand, sorting through the bag of drugs everyone else seemed fine abandoning.

Romeo bounced (Dear Lord he actually **bounced**) closer to me and pinned me with a large pout that looked ridiculous on the grown man. "It's gotta be against the rules somewhere that you can't **not** tell a story if it gets you blushing like a boiled lobsta'. A picture talks louder then words." At the last bit he busted out laughing, quickly followed by the other three. I was left confused at the odd turn of phrase.

Connor was practically on top of his brother as they both rolled around. "Tha was one ta be proud of for sure Rome! Doc couldn'ta said it better 'imself!"

Murphy was barely able to get himself under control long enough to reply. "Na Conn. 'E's missin' tha fuck ass!" and he was back to barely contained laughter.

I grabbed the forgotten bottle and chugged three mouthfuls before setting it down and trying not to pull a face at the burn. "Fuck ass? Ya'lls story sounds loads better than mine."

Brian took the bottle from near my knee and helped himself. "Alright, you tell us yours, and we tell you ours."

Romeo snapped to attention long enough to shout "Fairs fair!" before rejoining "The League of Laughing Lunatics".

Since the LLL didn't seem to be paying attention I went ahead and took the bottle when Brian skipped over Romeos turn. A few more shots of liquid courage were going to be necessary. "A few days after the prison fell I told Daryl off… Not the smartest thing to do. Told him I was going to get a drink cuz I was tired of his suckass camp." The blush was beaten back with another burning mouthful of vodka. It hadn't been my finest hour and looking back I was really lucky the older man hadn't just left me to die. "We found a county club but they were pretty picked clean. Daryl said he wasn't gonna let my first drink be peach schnapps."

The brothers had a twin moment, exclaiming at the same time "Good man!" before taking long pulls from smaller bottles I hadn't noticed they'd pulled out.

"Where did you guys find all this alcohol? Any time someone found anything good on a run it was big news. Ya'll practically got the stuff flowin' outta your ears."

"We shouldn' answer. Ye interrupted yer story." Connor teased before motioning me to drink again. I was already feeling pretty loose between what I'd drank so far and whatever pill I'd taken, but I dutifully took another swallow and even managed not to shudder as it went down. "Good girl, an' fer whatever reason nobody's taken it from tha last few places we passed through. Were na ta question it, just be happy."

"Fine but it's still weird. Anyway we were close to a cabin he'd found on a run," _Looking for the Governor_, "had a whole crate a moonshine. We got drunk and played 'I Never'." I stopped and took another big swig. "He said I was a happy drunk, and I told him he was gonna be the last man standing," The memory of shadowed blue eyes full of pain and denial flashed in my head, Daryl didn't want to be alone. "told him he was gonna miss me when I was gone. And then we torched the place." Better to leave it on the high note. _I wonder if he does miss me?_

Romeo, who was almost horizontal and half leaning on the Detective next to him, fell to the floor completely. "Ya torched it?! Why?"

The smile was as natural as breathing at the thought of that particular bit of night that had happened weeks ago. "Because it represented bad memories, cuz we were drunk, I dunno… Cuz it was fun and made us forget? At the time it just felt right."

Murphy and Connor raised their bottles and Murphy called out "Ta Daryl and Beth!"

"Ta doin' shit cuz yer drunk!" was Connors contribution.

"To burning down bad memories!" Romeo said from where he was still laying behind Brian.

The older man didn't have anything to raise but kept eye contact while he added his own "To forgetting!"

All four looked at me, expectant, and I nearly cried. I either had a guardian angel or some weird version of the Luck 'O The Irish thing going on. To have landed in a group that was so… I couldn't even find words, good? Decent? Noble? "To doing what feels right." It was hardly a whisper in the mostly quiet room but they each offered me a smile and those with a bottle in their hand drank. I took a small final sip and handed mine off to Brian. "So do I get to know what was so funny now?"

Murphys smile turned a little sad for a moment before he answered. "Aye, fairs fair an' all. Our good friend Doc, 'e had tourettes an' couldn' keep a proverb straight ta save 'is life. Always sayin' tha weirdest shit too."

"It's a bit of a game in 'is honor ye see. Ta come up with bad sayin's, an' Rome had a good one there."

"First of all that's not a story it's a explanation, cheaters, and second that doesn't explain the 'fuck ass' part." _Note to self: you're a aggressive drunk._ Maggie would have been proud, not for the drinking, but for speaking up. She was always saying I was to quiet but I bet she would barely recognize me now. New group new rules, I wasn't about to let these men think I couldn't handle myself.

"She told you! I like you Beth, all the girls back home woulda just giggled like idiots or some stupid shit. Those bastards coulda told 'em the sky was purple grass was yellow and the sun shined outta their asses and none of 'em woulda said a thing." Romeo was upright again but Brian kept having to prop him up before he slumped again, the Hispanic man had emptied his bottle with exceptional speed and was obviously feeling pretty good. In fact the only one who seemed slightly sober was Brian.

Murphy capped off his own bottle before grabbing his brothers and putting it away as well, it seemed like I wasn't the only one to take notice that if something went down right now we'd all be screwed. "Yer jus' jealous. All them luscious locks a yers always makin' tha ladies think yer one a them. Don' be sore now Rome, ye'll find tha' special someone ta buy yer bullshit one day. No need in spoilin' our good name." He ruined the serious tone he'd spoken in by snickering almost immediately after.

Romeo responded with as half assed kick in his direction which started a mini brawl between the two that Connor was quickly, and happily, swept into. In the interest of self-preservation I carefully scooted back to sit next to the apparently only sane man in the group. "They sure do that a lot."

He shook his head but he still had a smile on his face. "They do but it's good to see. They were always like that. Hell I only met 'em because of a bar fight they were in. You get used to it. Don't worry, even if they were totally gone I'd still bet on them over anyone else, your safe."

"I'm not worried. Besides they look like their having fun." Almost like he was trying to prove my point Romeo got to the top of the pile with Murphy in a headlock, huge smiles on both their faces, before Connor tackled them all back to the ground.

The impromptu fight stopped almost as fast as it had escalated just a few minutes prior, all three still laughing. We managed to get back to work sorting through the last few bags, one was filled entirely with rope that when Murphy opened it his only comment was, "Don' fuckin' say a word Conn." before moving on.

I gave up trying to pay attention after that and settled for watching the rest of them. I was too drunk to be productive and the painkiller had hit hard just as promised. The pillows were soft and warm against the colder night, the light from their lantern was low, and each of the men was speaking quietly making it difficult to stay awake. Just as I was about to give in and hope no one would make fun of me for it later I suddenly found myself up in the air.

Connor had a firm grip on me as he cradled me bridal style towards the stairs. My very articulate "Huh wha'…" earned me a smile and I decided I didn't care, it felt almost huglike and I selfishly tried to take comfort in it. Talking about Daryl had been mostly easy at the time, but now it just left me feeling very alone. Sooner then I would have liked he was putting me down on a plush bed (a real freaking bed not a cot!) and had me covered with a comforter in seconds.

He paused at the door, only the faintest of light from the lantern downstairs outlining him. "Dormez bien petit ange, ne vous inquiétez pas votre halo est encore vif et brillant. Vous nous avez donné l'espoir de retour et nous ne laisserons pas ce que vous blesser à nouveau. Les saints veillent sur vous. "

"Wassit mean?"

"Sleep well, we'll be watching over ye."

I was just too tired to call him on the lie, maybe in the morning. "Thank you…for everything…for not leaving me alone…" I was disgusted with how weak I sounded but wanted to say it anyway.

"We won' leave ye. Yer with us now and we don' leave anyone behind."

"Everyone gets left behind eventually…I left Daryl and Judith…I left my Dad…We all get left behind." My liquid courage was working against me. Daryl was right, I wasn't a happy drunk.

"Ye didn' leave anyone ye were taken, it's different."

"No it's not. Daryl was still left behind. Putting a different word on it doesn't make me a better person." Daryl would survive but he couldn't live alone, he'd said as much, and if the walkers didn't get him that night I worried what he was going through now.

"Tha's the drugs talking. Yer a good person Beth, we can tell."

"No… I'm just very lucky…" and if he answered I didn't hear it.

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**First the French!**

_Dormez bien__petit ange__, __ne vous inquiétez__pas votre__halo est__encore vif__et__brillant.__Vous nous avez donné__l'espoir__de retour__et__nous ne laisserons pas__ce que vous__blesser à nouveau__. __Les saints__veillent sur__vous. _**Sleep well little angel, don't worry your halo is still bright and shiney. You've given us back our hope and we won't let anything hurt you again. The Saints are watching over you.**

**Beth is a very sad drunk. I swear I didn't see her going all depressed on me. I really struggled with this chapter and how to end it. I hope everyone liked it. Don't forget to tell me what you thought ! I hoping for 10 reviews for this one !**

**TTFN ! **


	9. All Fear The Mighty Beth!

_**Omg I feel horrible for the long wait! This is completely un Beta'd so I own all mistakes but I didn't want to wait another day to get this out. **_

_**If I owned any of it ya'lld be waiting a lot longer then a few days for an update…**_

_**Chapter 9: All fear the mighty Beth.**_

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

I almost didn't leave the room. The girls quiet confession was certainly accidental but the result would have been the same, how could I leave her, even asleep, when she held that much pain. It was a sure bet none of the other three men downstairs would have seen this coming either. I was grateful she'd fallen to sleep nearly the second she'd finished the sentence because I was at a total loss.

All the women back north had been content to be cared for, to never leave the safety of our barricaded building. None of them had had to make the hard decision of knowing when someone couldn't be saved, knowing when to leave someone behind. And here was this girl practically giving the two finger salute to that kind of thinking. I couldn't see this little slip of a girl out facing the nightmarish walking dead, let alone being capable of leaving anyone behind, no matter how much she probably should. To hear she blamed herself for anything that had happened to her was just wrong in a way that had me holding back fury over a man that was probably already dead. As she told it nothing had been in her control, least of all the decision to leave anyone willingly.

The room was nearly completely blacked out in darkness, to the point I couldn't see her on the bed, but I couldn't force myself to leave the room. Even when Murphy came up to check what was taking so long. I was glad I'd taken her to the room, Murphs reaction could have gone in any direction with that bombshell. We were already determined that nothing would hurt her again as long as she was with us, but how were we to stop her from hurting herself?

"What's wrong? Did we let 'er drink too much?"

I couldn't tell him about what she'd said. It went against everything I'd done my entire life, keeping a secret like this from my brother, but how was I to face the girl in the morning if I went around spouting off about her personal demons when she likely never meant to tell me in the first place? "Na Murph, it's nuthin'. Jus' thinking."

If it hadn't been dark that would have never worked, as it was he didn't argue with my lame excuse. "About tha bodies?"

No, I hadn't been thinking about the bodies found in the panic room when we'd swept the house but now thoughts of the suspicious wounds on the corpses warred with what I should do about Beth's drunken revelation. I knew what the carefully placed bullet holes in the poor bastards we'd found meant. They were all too fresh yet, had died not long ago, and someone took care that they'd not only die, but do so slowly. If whoever their attacker was came back we had no idea what we'd be up against. A single sociopath that got the drop on the houses previous occupants, or a group that could outnumber and out gun us.

If Beth had been even a little less hurt we would have tried for the next town. As it was we could all see the pain in her face, even in sleep, at every bump and turn in the road and none of us had the heart to knowingly cause her more pain then necessary. Romeo tried to be the optimist by pointing out we at least chose the right house to look in, at least we knew there was a threat. It wasn't much help and thinking about it now was only making me twitchy. "Someone should stay in here with 'er."

He didn't respond at first, just stood with me looking into the dark room. I could hear the sheets shifting and half expected her to wake up but her gentle even breathing never changed and the silence stretched on. "Rome an' Duffy have things downstairs covered." And I knew, even though I'd been grasping for something to say before, that he'd been thinking it himself. I knew the way the girl flinched from him, as barely there as it was, hurt Murphy but that he wouldn't leave her alone if he had any say in the matter. The trip out for supplies had been tense for all of us, knowing she was alone and having no idea if the gun would do her any good. Murphy had been by far the most vocal in declaring how bad of an idea that was and I had seen him catch his self on the doorway when the worry had proven pointless and she was exactly where we'd left her napping peacefully.

"Room or hall?"

I felt him shift as though to look at me before he answered, "Room." and slid down the wall behind us. "Ye didn' pull watch tonight an' I'm up last." For him to bother mentioning it meant he was exhausted enough to actually have to sleep. There was nothing to say to it so I joined him on the floor and said nothing. Minutes passed and I could tell he wasn't asleep so I figured there was more he wanted to say. It was irritating that he wouldn't just come out with whatever it was and knowing I couldn't just tell him to either talk or go to sleep without a fight that would probably wake the sleeping girl across the room.

It was probably about Beth. A lot of our conversations (Ok pretty much all of them) had been about the girl since finding her. The fact he was being quiet meant whatever it was was bothering him though, and as much as I'd rather just sleep to escape the girls whispered words I couldn't until he worked it out.

"I look like 'er Daryl." It wasn't what I was expecting but it made sense that it was what was bothering him. I'd actually thought the same myself as she'd spoken of the man downstairs. You'd have to be an idiot to miss that the story had been heavily edited and if he'd noticed the same I had a pretty good guess as to where this was going.

"Probably. Last family she was with, would make it harder for sure. Try na ta think on it, it'll pass eventually."

"An' what tha hell am I ta do till then huh? Na go near 'er?"

As much as I love my brother there are times I wonder who dropped him on his head when we were little. It was usually the only thing I could think of to explain his bouts of idiocy. "Ye let 'er grieve ye dumbass. She's lost 'er whole family an' ye pulled tha shit straw of lookin' like one of 'em. Tha more she's around ye the faster it'll fade. Ye'll only have ta deal with it fer so long."

"So says Connor, he who knows shit."

"Tha's right. I know shit, so ye should listen ta me."

"Well if yer so smart what will we do when we find 'er group?"

"Yer so sure we will?"

If there had been light I'm sure I would have seen him roll his eyes. "Ye heard 'er. She's convinced 'e's alive, chances are others in 'er group made it too. We never got past tha 'Find Smecker and Dolly' stage a plannin'. I won' just make 'er leave without at least lookin' fer 'er sister."

It wasn't anything I wasn't expecting, definitely something I'd thought myself. I was also sure Duffy and Romeo wouldn't have a problem with it. The problem was what would happen if we found any of them. All the man, Daryl, would know was that she'd been taken, and we knew nothing about the sister or any of the others from her group. I couldn't say for certain that if one of the women in the group back in Boston had been kidnapped if we wouldn't shoot first if a group of unknown men just randomly showed up with her. "She seems reasonable. She couldn'ta been tha only one with a brain, na like we'd be showin' up with 'er all scared or anythin'."

"Do we stay?"

Ah! The real question. And the one I'd been asking myself for the last two days. "We migh' na be welcome. They been through a lot, can' say I'd be blamin' 'em if they didn' want strangers around." As it was I was quickly reaching the point where I didn't care if they wanted me around I'd stay anyway. Almost nothing was left of Boston and it wasn't like we could get back to Ireland anyway. I could feel the girl was special, knew Murph felt the same. We didn't even want to leave her in the room alone, I don't know how we'd manage to actually walk away from her. "Aye, we stay. We'll deal with 'er group however we have to I suppose."

"Rome an' Duffy? Paul an' James?"

"They're big boys Murph. I bet they're down there thinkin' tha same. If there is no cure…well it wouldn' be like we have better options now would we? Now 'm tired an' if yer done gettin' in touch with yer feelings princess I'd like ta sleep tonight."

He was quiet so I went ahead and closed my eyes. I was nearly asleep when he snuck the last word in. "She's under yer skin too." It was obvious and didn't require a response so I ignored it and wished it was as easy to ignore Beths' voice in my head, hollow and pained, grateful for not being left behind.

Dawn was quick to make itself known by shining brightly right into my closed eyes. Murphy was missing from the floor beside me and I could see Beths wild mass of blonde curls from beneath the covers. She'd managed to twist herself into a tight cocoon that would be a bitch to get her out of later. I could still see flecks of red in the blonde though and decided we'd go find water today. Duffy said she'd been looking forward to getting cleaner and I wasn't exactly smelling like roses myself. Besides, like the drugs the day before, finding water would make everybody happy.

Downstairs was quiet and I didn't see anyone as I headed to the kitchen. None of us could "cook" but there was no reason to have cold beans for breakfast if the stove had gas. Duffy and Rome were at the table surrounded by bits and pieces of the guns they were cleaning and didn't even bother with a good morning, I still didn't see my brother. "Where tha fucks Murphy?"

Still not looking up Duffy jerked his head to the door leading to the yard. "Said he was going to try and get the pump working." There were no beans, cold or otherwise, so I made due with a protein bar from the dwindling pile and made my way out to the well house.

One of the reasons we'd agreed to take the risk of staying in the house had been the working propane tank and presence of a well. It wasn't until Beth had tried one of the taps that we found the pump was shot. None of us were mechanical and the chances of Murphy bringing the thing back to life were pretty much none but it would have given him something to do so I could understand how he came to be uselessly kicking the pump equipment, instead of say fixing it. "That aughta teach it Murph, give it another."

The glare and finger were predictable as was the "So sleeping beauty's finally awake is he?" He still stopped abusing the plumbing so I let it slide. "Beth awake?"

"Snuggled up like she is 'm hopin' she don' wake up for a while. Sleep'll do 'er good leastways. Quit screwin' around with that an' help figure where ta get some water from. Tha thing is dead, ye kickin' it won' help."

The smile was good to see. Since Beth he'd been circling dark thoughts better left alone. "Aye. Won' help a bit but it sure makes me feel better." Another kick, just to screw with me I'm sure, and he was striding across the lawn to a pile of fruit I'd missed on my way out "Figure somethin' fresh would be better for 'er. Things are a bit wild in tha' greenhouse a few houses down but it's a fuckin' gold mine Conn. Duff says she cooks."

That caught my attention. The information was the best thing any of us had heard since starting south. If we didn't find canned food or wild fruit we weren't eating. We'd all quickly learned wild meat was disgusting and not worth the effort if not cooked right. "Almost makes ye want ta go caveman again an' hunt." The joke being neither of us could take down anything but the slowest of game. Farming we could handle, hunters, we were not.

Whatever he was ready to say was cut short as a familiar scream tore through the air. We were both through the back door, guns drawn, and searching for the threat when the short blonde responsible appeared out of no where directly in front of us. Her face was flushed and she was smiling, leaning against Romeo who had his arm around her shoulders. Duffy was behind them and was the first to take notice of the guns. "Beth please explain you were just startled to Connor and Murphy before they waste any ammo."

Bright blue eyes swung in our direction and noticed our still raised weapons. "Uh guys? Did I miss sumthin'?" She didn't flinch, or even seem entirely worried for that matter that we had just had four loaded guns pointed at her head. "Romeo just scared me when I was comin' down the stairs, if I'd known ya'd take it so seriously I'da just saved everybody the trouble and punched him instead." The Hispanic man just laughed at the threat.

"Oh yea. All fear the mighty Beth. Sneak up behind her and she'll take ya out!"

Murphy wouldn't be distracted though. "Wha' tha fuck! Ye shouldn' be walkin' around! What if-"

I'd swear later her head did one of those exorcist spins she turned on us so quickly, the anger burning in her eyes didn't help. "Not this **again**! I can walk! Thank you for your concern but he cut me he didn't break my damn legs! They work and I'm gettin' sick and tired of being carried around! Ya can stop cussin' at me because frankly I've heard better! I was fine till Romeo asked if I needed help and scared me. I agreed to have a baby sitter already ya can't seriously be asking me not to move period. I'm sorry I screamed but that doesn't give you the right ta go off on me!" Her anger was directed at Murphy but I could tell her speech was for me too. I didn't want to agree with her, especially after being fuckin' scolded like a misbehaving child, but looking at her I could see where we might have been taking it a tad overboard.

She stood toe to toe with Murph, glaring up at him finger poking his chest. It was clear, in the tension lines around her eyes, she was still in a great deal of pain but she wasn't going to back down. Tears swam in her eyes and it was painful to watch her hold them back even if she could have used them to get her way without having to fight. "Yer right, _nílimid ag iarraidh a chailleann tú _, but we still have yer blood on us so we may have been a wee bit over cautious. Murphy just never learned how ta talk ta women, what my dear brudder **meant** ta say was 'We're worried, do ye need any help?' Isn't tha' right Murph?"

Oh he was furious. He hated when I sided with anyone besides him. "_Yesli vy ne uspokoit' yebat' vniz my ne budem dolzhny planirovat' , kogda my nakhodim yeye gruppu . Ona budet otpravit' nam ot sebya . Pust' devushka khod'by ona ne prosit delat' sal'to._" I wasn't going to let his temper fuck things up.

He wanted to argue. I even knew what he'd say. "What if she falls? What if tha stitches pull? What if we're not there?" He wasn't thinking long term. "_Alguien estará allí_." Romeo nodded from behind Beth, understanding the need to diffuse the situation. He'd already befriended the blonde and had already fought with Murphy and I both over how we'd dealt with her several times now, it was strange to find how sensitive he was towards the girl.

"_¿Crees que ella__es feliz__sigues__diciéndole__lo que puede__y no puede hacer__de puta__? __Estoy a punto de__darle mi__arma__sólo para__hacerte callar__._" I seriously doubted she'd actually shoot us but the fiesty Mexican wouldn't have a problem putting a bullet somewhere non-vital to prove a point.

"Speak English! If you're gonna fight in front of me **about** me then I at least deserve to understand it!" She included Rome in this glare and even moved to stand near Duffy instead. Maybe I'd been righter then I thought when I joked she'd already had a favorite, she certainly listened to reason faster if the man spoke up.

I could see the second Murphy realized exactly what an ass he was being, the anger didn't go away but I could see it redirect to himself. I knew the feeling, felt it every time I'd argued with the girl, at least he could say she hadn't pulled the tears on him yet. We weren't used to being in the wrong though and even less used to sincerely apologizing to anybody for anything. "It was more abou' me bein' an ass ta ye then anything." Not an "I'm sorry" but he was probably just working up to it, and if he wasn't I wasn't going to help him sew up any new holes Rome put in him.

The anger in her eyes was quickly replaced with laughter again as what he said clicked for her. The scowl returned to the amused smile from when she'd first entered the room and I could literally watch as she deflated from the fight, shoulders losing tension and fists unclenching at her sides. We'd have done better to learn not to make her upset faster instead of arguing every point. The fights were no better for her than if she **were** overdoing it. "Even more reason to do it in English. I'd love to hear them call you an ass."

Was this the same girl from last night? Every time I thought I knew what she might be thinking she went and did something completely different then what I was expecting. She should have been angry with us until we begged forgiveness, we'd each way overstepped our bounds with her multiple times and usually with a good deal of profanity, and here she was laughing. I wasn't used to not knowing where I stood with a woman and I didn't like the feeling.

"Rome's promised ta give ye his gun ta teach me a real lesson."

The glare was back but aimed at Romeo who didn't look like he knew what the fuck he did. For that matter neither did I. "Why the heck would I shoot the guy who saved my life? He's bein' an ass but at least it's just 'cause he's worried. I can make my own threats."

"Sorry?" He looked like he was having a hard time understanding where he went wrong but was willing to just go with it.

"Forgiven. See? Was that painful? I just wanna be treated like a person, not a piece of glass, I'm not gonna break and ya'll keep treating me like I will." How this girl thought she could possibly be guilty of anything besides being too good a person was beyond me. Murph was looking down right humbled, even right after his shit behavior she was so totally appalled at the thought of shooting him and completely willing to be reasonable and forgive anyone far easier then she should.

"'M sorry Beth. I had no right ta be talkin' ta ye like that. Can' swear it'll be tha last time, 'm willin' ta admit my temper had me doin' some stupid shit over tha years. I just don' want ta see anything happen ta ye." He looked well and truly sorry too.

"That's not a bad thing… why you get all angry I mean. It's nice knowing someone cares. If the worst thing I can say is that I got picked up by guys who care to much I think I'm pretty lucky. I'm sorry I screamed, it's not usually my first reaction, just happy I didn't have my knife or I wouldn't be the only one cut up. Ya'll haven't learned not to sneak up on people yet?" I saw her using the counter to stay up and didn't want to be the one to point it out.

Duffy was quick to notice it too and point out the abandoned table and chairs, pulling one out and staring her down till she sat. The swelling in her face had gone down dramatically, leaving only a nasty looking bruise to cover the right side of her face, and even beneath that I could see the blush heating her cheeks. What she had to be embarrassed about I wasn't even going to try and guess, I'd probably be wrong again anyway. "Na we know better, Rome's just thick." It earned me the finger.

"I thought she heard me. Wasn't like I did it on purpose. And you **did** punch me remember?" He sure didn't look like he'd been beaten on but that didn't mean she didn't try.

Duffy took the seat next to her and offered her a bottle of water, a power bar, and the pill bottle from last night. She didn't look overly happy to see the pills but didn't put up a fight, just drank it down. She opened the power bar but didn't take a bite, just sat looking at the rest of us like she was waiting for something.

Surprisingly it was Romeo who figured it out first. "Duffster and I already ate. Glare at them." He was back to cleaning his various guns and ignoring the rest of us as he polished the custom colorful grip again. I saw Beth looking at the guns again like she did the first time she saw them, like she was torn between wanting to laugh and knowing better than to actually do it.

Murphy must have remembered the fruit left sitting outside and gone to fetch it so I took the last seat at the table, he could sit on a counter. What caught everyone's attention was Beth picking up one of the barrels and beginning to clean it like a pro. She looked up confused as we all stopped to watch her. "What?"

"Yer cleanin' a gun." I wasn't sure how that wasn't obvious to her.

"Yea… So? You think I don't know how to use a gun?"

I really didn't want to answer that question. I was smart enough to learn from my mistakes. Romeo wasn't as quick with that lesson though. "Not really."

I was throwing in the towel on guessing how she would react to anything. Instead of being upset in our lack of faith in her capabilities she started laughing. It wasn't one of the hysterical giggles she'd been prone to the first few days, or even the half-hearted chuckles she gave while sorting supplies the night before. It was light and even sounded southern and transformed her into what I imagine she looked like every day before the turn, completely relaxed. "If I thought I coulda found ammo for the AK I never woulda left it behind. I told ya Connor, everyone has a gun nowadays."

Shit. She was right she told me that her first night awake. Well shit, was she going to want to help deal with the dead too?

She caught my eye and held it. "I'm not gonna be a burden, and I'm not gonna just sit in the car while the men go beat their chests and kill things. I know how to shoot and I know where to put the pointy end of a knife. Ya'll told me I wouldn't win about the pills, well I'm tellin' you. You're not gonna win if you try and leave me behind." _She remembers._ I was the only one who would be able to grasp just how much she meant what she said and as much as I couldn't stand even the thought of her against one of the undead I knew I was never going to be able to tell her no on this. I couldn't knowingly put her through that, to feel like she was being left behind._ Murph is __**not**__ goin' ta be happy._

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**I actually feel bad for Conn, being the reasonable one by default sucks. Beths not going to be told what she can and can't do anymore, the prisons gone and so is her old role. New group, new rules and she's gonna make the most of it. Murph… is probably not going to take this well… Anyone ever notice Connor tries to keep peace before Murphy just punches someone? **

**Anyone think they know what happened to the last people who were staying in the house?**

_nílimid ag iarraidh a chailleann tú - __**we don't want to lose you (Irish) **_

_Yesli vy ne uspokoit' yebat' vniz my ne budem dolzhny planirovat' , kogda my nakhodim yeye gruppu . Ona budet otpravit' nam ot sebya . Pust' devushka khod'by ona ne prosit delat' sal'to. __**If you don't calm the fuck down we wont have to plan for when we find her group. She'll send us away herself. Let the girl walk she's not asking to do backflips (Russian)**_

_Alguien estará allí_. _**Someone**____**will**__** be **__**there**__**. (**__**Spanish**__**)**_

_¿Crees que ella__es feliz__sigues__diciéndole__lo que puede__y no puede hacer__de puta__? __Estoy a punto de__darle mi__arma__sólo para__hacerte callar__. __**You think she's happy you keep telling her what she can and can't do fucker? I'm about to give her my gun just to shut you up. (Spanish)**_

_**I got **__**freaking**__** 18 reviews for **__**the**____**last**__** chapter! Ya'll are amazing! Can I hit 20?**_


	10. Fer Tha Meat of Course

**REAL QUICK! The poll is still up but only for another day or two. My personal favorite (C/B/M) is in the lead WHOOT! Let your voices be heard people, I needed help because I can go just about anywhere on that.**

**Alright this is unbeta'd as well even though I had a taker. I couldn't help it when I saw I could get two chapters out in two days! All errors are all on me and I really hope ya'll like this one. I had particular fun writing the end. **

**Chapter 10: Fer Tha Meat of Course**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

They were driving me **insane**! And the worst part was I felt terrible about it. They were honestly trying, I could tell. When Murphy had rejoined us in the kitchen with an armful of fruit he barely twitched an eye when I got up to help him. When Connor brought up my familiarity with guns he was just as shocked as the rest of them, although he was the first to start asking questions.

"Did you learn before or after the infection? Do you know how to reassemble them? Take them back apart? Did I know the difference in casings? Could I shoot? Was I like one of those super spy chicks with perfect aim every time?" The last one I'm pretty sure was a joke. We all spent the morning cleaning guns and putting ammo in clips, eventually moving everything to the pillow pile in the other room. It almost felt like the being back in the prison when I got to spend the day up in the guard towers where all the gun maintenance was done. They grilled me on what I knew about what and cracked jokes to keep the mood light.

That's where the good times ended though. They let me walk, but I wasn't allowed to reach for anything more than an arm length away or pick up anything heavier then one of the guns or even get too close to the windows. I'd finally had enough when Romeo tried to follow me into the bathroom and claimed the pill was knocking me out and fled to the room I'd woken up in.

The problem was they weren't being overly obvious with their excessive help. Whenever a box of ammo what just that few inches too far Murphy was there, box in hand already. When I tried to move one of the larger duffle bags to the center of the circle we made, Connor conveniently had the same idea at the same time. I'd tried to look through one of the boarded up windows, to hopefully see anything besides walls, when Brian just freaking materialized next to me and distracted me with conversation. I hadn't even noticed he'd led me back where we were all sitting for what had to be close to a half hour! Romeo's excuse was by far the most flimsy though, claiming he just wanted to make sure the toilet had a seat. A seat!

I wanted desperately to call them on it all but the truth was I was still being given more freedom then even just last night. They weren't telling me I couldn't do something, just making sure I didn't have to before I even tried. I couldn't even be 100% sure it wasn't some huge conspiracy I'd built in my head out of just coincidences, albeit suspicious ones. What house this nice wouldn't have a toilet seat?

At least saying I was tired wasn't a complete lie, the pills were really strong and I was feeling pretty spacey and the original owners of the house had one of those memory foam beds that felt like lying on a cloud. I didn't want to waste the whole day sleeping though and looking around the room there wasn't much to keep me occupied. There was an old Forbes magazine in the nightstand and a Bible. The magazine would have put me to sleep for sure and I just couldn't handle opening the Good Book yet, memories of the countless times Maggie, Daddy and myself had prayed as a family holding me back.

The windows upstairs hadn't been secured like the ones on the first floor and the room had a great view of the backyard and even had one of those fancy window seats built in. The cushions were probably down with the guys in the pillow mountain they'd built and I figured my chances of staying awake would be better on the hard wood that made up the rest of the seat then my heavenly mattress. Dragging the poufy comforter with me to give me at least a little padding I got as comfortable as I could and realized I still had nothing to do, just a harder seat.

There were fluffy clouds in the sky that reminded me of the silly little games the kids would play back at the prison when the adults couldn't take their endless energy anymore. They would all lie down in the field and try and convince each other the shapeless fluff looked like outrageous things, things like giant waterslides and dinosaurs. The game would only end when one of them could get someone to admit they saw the weird shape.

I was deep in cloud gazing when a gentle knock on the door brought me back to the present. Brian poked his head in and seemed confused at the empty bed. "Hi?"

"Can I come in?"

Of the four he was the least "helpful" and usually the first one to help me when one of the others overstepped, but I still wasn't sure I was ready to play nice. "I guess. What's up?" I was confused when he shut the door behind him.

He didn't look too pleased and I wondered if I'd missed something downstairs. He just stood quietly for the first minute then began to pace. It was only a step or two in one direction and then the return but the movement had me on edge, were they mad at me for coming upstairs? "You were impressive this morning. I'm actually surprised you waited that long to tell them off."

It couldn't possibly be what he wanted to say, I knew procrastination when I heard it. "Don't get me wrong. I'm really grateful; I know I'd be dead if it weren't for all of you. I'm just not used to sitting still anymore and if they wouldn't let me at least walk I was gonna scream." He stopped pacing and took a seat on the edge of the bed. When he nearly fell off the cushy material I couldn't help but laugh. "That thing is amazing, I wish we could take it with us."

"It must be the only one in the house, the other beds are normal spring ones. I'm sorry we've been-."

"Pushy? Overbearing? Unreasonable? Bossy? Let me know when I get close."

I thought I could see a blush under his beard but I couldn't be sure. "Yes. Those things."

"You know you've been doing it too right? It took me a while, you were pretty slick, getting me away from the window. Ya know if you'd just give me a reason I wouldn't do certain things. I'm not stupid, I can see ya'll know what you're doin'. But if ya don't tell me 'Hey Beth don't hang around the windows we saw walkers' how am I supposed to know?" It was the one thing everyone back at the prison gave me credit for. If I knew I had to do something it got done, if one of them told me not to do something I wouldn't. Listening just made life easier for everyone.

He wasn't looking at me anymore and was quiet for another long minute. When he did look back up he had what I called 'cop face' on. Rick would get it, especially at the farm, when some ethical dilemma came up. I really hated that look. It either meant I was about to be lied to, for 'my own good' I'm sure, or he was going to say something I wouldn't like and there was nothing I could do about it. "You do trust we want to help you right?"

_I should have never let him in the room_. The conversation was taking a very sharp turn into something I didn't think I wanted to hear. "Yea, kinda obvious at this point." What if they knew I lied to get away from them? "I really was tired though when I came up here! It's just ya'll were trying to respect my wishes and still do everything for me at the same time, it was insane. I'm sure once we move on and I'm not hurt it won't happen but I'm used to pulling my own weight at least one way or another. I get ya'll think ya need to help me and I'm really trying to be ok with it but I don't want to be a burden. I know it'll get old for all of ya eventually and-."

My rambling had quickly taken on a panicked quality and he cut me off with a forceful "God no!" before he sighed again, running his hands through his hair like he was frustrated. "That's not what I was getting at. Hell it's not even close. Look Beth, it wouldn't matter if we'd found you perfectly healthy and picking daisy's, the twins would still be that way, it's just who they are. And nothings getting old, you give us something good to talk about which is nice after 4 months trapped with just the three of them."

"If this isn't about me hiding up here… then why..?"

"I could have started this better. There are things about us that we don't tell people, about what we all did before all this madness. I thought if I could talk to you alone it might help you understand where we're coming from."

It wasn't what I was expecting that's for sure. "Ok?"

"You already know I was a Detective. The other three didn't really have _jobs_, they just helped people. They quote their old priest often, one of his sermons had a big impact on their lives. _We must all fear evil men, but there is another evil we must fear, the indifference of good men._ As far as I know they've dedicated their lives to making a difference since that sermon. I can honestly say I lost track of how many lives they saved. But they never got to be one on one with those people. They don't know what to do about you."

It sounded like I would have liked their priest. I could actually picture the three of them going down dark alleys and fighting evil like in one of Carl's comics, their coats even looked a little cape like if I squinted real hard. I just couldn't understand what it had to do with me though. "What you mean 'what to do about me'?"

He looked like **he** was starting to regret asking to come in now. "You won't like what I have to say…"

I was happy the swelling in my face had gone down quickly, I knew he could tell I was glaring at him. "It don't really matter if I like it or not. If it clues me in on why they're so damn stubborn about all this then I think I deserve to know."

"Do you know what you look like?"

What the hell? "I seriously don't know where you're goin' with this."

"Blonde hair, big eyes, you can smile even after everything else you've told us? Beth if you were any more adorable I'd think you were fake. Set aside the fact you're the first girl we've seen in months or were just brutally attacked and hurt, they'd take one look at you and want to protect you. I get where they're coming from too, I just like to think I'm better at knowing when it'll be appreciated."

"So you're tellin' me all this fuss is because of how I look? This has got to be a joke. What, if I dye my hair they'll back off a bit?"

I was starting to feel bad for the poor man, he just looked so frustrated. His one leg was bouncing rapidly in place and his eyes were practically begging with me to understand. "No it wouldn't make a difference. How you look is part of it, _**who**_ you are is the rest. You're a good person Beth, better then I've seen in a long while, and it's they're personal mission to make sure the good people don't have to worry about the bad. They want to take care of you because you're what they fight for, why our friends went to the CDC in the first place. To protect the good. Romeo's just slow. If you tell him it's too much, or me, we'll turn it down. But Connor and Murphy are blaming themselves for what happened to you out there, they think they should have been able to stop it."

_Well…thats just stupid… _Probably best I didn't say it like that though. It did help and I could already tell I wouldn't be as easily annoyed by it anymore. When the prison had fallen Daryl had taken the other extreme, he made sure I lived but anything past that was too much. If they felt guilty about my kidnapping I didn't think I would be able to stay mad at them. "I think I get it. Thank you, really. I'm so used to people lookin' at me and thinkin' I was useless…even my own Dad forgot I knew how to do more than cook and do laundry. I didn't want ya'll to think ya **had** to take care of me… They're still idiots for thinkin' they couldda done anything more though."

Like the day we found the house the smile he gave me made him look like the hard years never happened. "Now at the risk of contradicting myself, is there anything I can get you?"

I couldn't help but laugh, after the whole conversation I just felt unreasonable for not accepting their attention. "I could really use something to do, I'm getting pretty tired of lookin' at clouds." My stomach growled loudly and I was sure I was blushing again when he laughed. "I suppose I'm a bit hungry too… Maybe I can think of somethin' to make, Murphy did find all that fruit."

"If you start cooking they'll never leave you alone." He was still smiling when he said it, and stood to help me up. I didn't need the help but let him do it anyway, better to get used to it now, I figure I could handle small stuff like that easily enough. If it had been before the End I wouldn't have thought twice about someone doing little things like that for me, it used to be called chivalry and I guess it wasn't dead.

"Yea I kinda figured that. It's not like I'll be able to do much though, at least until we've got the basics."

"And those would be?"

When Daryl and I ran I realized just how spoiled I was at the prison. Between the actual kitchens that had actual cooking utensils and the almost constant runs to keep us supplied I hadn't had to 'make due' in a while. Things that I used to think I couldn't do without were quickly crossed off the necessities list. "Sugar for one. A pot, one of those cans of no stick spray, pretty much any spice we can find, and a hammer."

We were back downstairs and I was getting weird looks from all of them. Romeo, ever the shy one, broke the awkward silence. "Uhhh what do ya need a hammer for? I worked in a kitchen and we didn't have no hammers."

"You never beat the meat?"

I was left standing in the middle of all of them completely confused as they all lost it laughing. Connor walked (i.e. stumbled because he was laughing too hard to walk straight) over and threw an arm around my shoulders. "Aye, 'm sure 'e's beat tha meat before, I just hope na with a hammer." It clicked then what they were all laughing about and I knew it probably looked like I'd gone swimming in red paint I was blushing so hard. Romeo was still laughing so hard all he could do was flip the Irishman off.

"That is _really_ not what I meant."

"Oh Conn I think ye've gone an' embarrassed 'er!"

They were all looking at me again and I could practically feel the blood heating my skin. "No. No… just didn't get it at first. Haha very funny." _I should have stayed upstairs._ "I was just listing things I'd need to really cook anythin' decent. Unless of course ya'lld rather stick with ramen and canned beans?"

Connor and Murphy immediately stopped laughing. "Now there's no reason ta be hasty. If ye like ta beat tha meat then we'll just have ta find a hammer. Any kind ye like?" The twin holding me asked.

_I know I'm gonna regret this._ "No more jokes cuz I know how this'll sound. One with a bigger head is better, it won't tear the meat apart." Connor jerked next to me in an effort to keep a straight face, Murphy completely turned away from me and I could see his shoulders shaking even from across the room. Brian had gotten control of his self and had 'cop face' back on, likely trying to stay composed, and Romeo, who hadn't yet recovered from the first joke, just laughed even harder.

Connors face was totally straight when he spoke again, but his voice was high and squeaky with the effort. "Ok tha bigger tha better… Fer tha meat of course…" If he didn't stop with the innuendo I was going to pass out from the blood required to keep my blush up.

"Screw the meat." _Dammit!_ "Ugh! Do ya'll have sugar?" The brothers were valiantly still trying not to laugh, although they'd both laughed at my poor choice in words before they got it back together. Romeo was on the ground and I was going to start worrying if he didn't get a full breath soon. Brian's cop face was firmly in place and it looked like he was trying to intimidate the fake fern above the mantle.

Murphy was the one to actually answer the question. "We've got sugar, tha pot too. Figure there a hammer in there somewhere as well. We don' have anythin' to really cook though."

Creative jokes aside I doubted they were very imaginative in the kitchen. _I bet they used to think a supreme pizza was elaborate. _"Do ya have oats?" A nod. "Then I know what to make. You'll love it. You found raspberries right?" Another nod. "Anyone have a clean hunting knife?"

Connor and Murphy looked at each other, doing their silent brother talking thing, before Murphy pulled a knife from behind him. "What exactly do ye need it for? We don' have anything that needs ta be cut?" He said it like it was a question. I was right. They had to be takeout junkies before otherwise he'd have never asked. Anyone who knew squat about cooking knew the knife was the biggest multi-purpose tool you could use.

"Actually I do need to cut the berries so they'll cook faster. And if you have large granule sugar I'll need to make it finer, it also works as a stir spoon." They were looking at me like **I **was the one talking a foreign language. "Just trust me and give me the pot and oats."

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**So… Wha'd ya think? I know everyone wants Beth to get out there and show them what she's made of and I promise it's coming soon! For now she's just going to learn how to deal with people who want to do things for her again. I don't think people at the prison did a lot for each other besides what they were scheduled to do, say cook or clean, and she deserves being a little catered to after everything she's been through.**

**So do I pass or fail on this. I'll never know if chapter 9 would have gotten 20 reviews but maybe this one?**

**Questions? Comments? Concerns? Hit me up! TTFN**


	11. So Now I'm a Lady

**You know I'm never going to know if I can get to 20 reviews at this rate lol. **

**Chapter 11: So Now I'm a Lady**

**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**

The meal I had planned was nothing special, just mixing the warmed oats with raspberries cooked down with sugar, but when I saw there were also several large apples I thought of something else that would also keep well. Having only the one pot though, I got to work quartering the small berries first. It was actually something Carol had taught me not long after the gardens at the prison had started bearing fruit, the smaller the fruit was the faster it broke down when cooked. There was plenty of gas according to Connor but that was no reason to waste it.

I wasn't used to having an audience while cooking either and having four sets of eyes watching every little thing I did was making me nervous; why couldn't they go stare at each other instead? "If ya'll insist on being in here with me the least ya can do is talk. You're freakin' me out just starin' like that."

They all laughed a little, Romeo had never really quit yet anyway, and Connor asked, "What exactly would ye like us ta talk about?"

I had no idea what I wanted them to talk about but anything would have been better then their silence. "Don't ya'll just talk?"

I caught Romeo shrugging his shoulders when I turned to put the fruit in the pot resting in front of them. "We been on the road for a while, we ain't had shit to talk about since Maryland."

That…was a pretty long time not to talk. "Ok then… Tell me a story. How'd ya'll meet? Cause your kinda an interesting group…"

When I turned around again they were all looking at each other with serious expressions. _Hmm so much for Romeo not being psychic._ "Ya know ya don't **have** to tell me if it's that big a secret. Tell me a funny story from your old jobs or something."

"It's na so much a secret as much as it'd be complicated ta explain." The smile Murphy sent my way nearly had me fumbling the knife. "But if it's somethin' funny yer lookin' ta hear there was this one lesbian."

Connors head whipped in his direction and it actually looked like he was reaching for a gun for a second. "Ye'll na be tellin' 'er **that** story."

Murphy looked completely unrepentant though, all but laughing in his brother's face. A quick look at Brian and Romeo let me know I wasn't the only confused one. "Why not? Sounds like it has a great start."

The lighter haired man was still glaring at his brother with his jaw tightly clenched and didn't look like he was going answer at all. Murphy, obviously not afraid of his brother and still laughing, was all too happy to talk though. "It's embarassin' as hell tha's why!"

"Damn righ' it's embarassin'! I got kicked in tha nuts by a woman with more chest hair then me! Ye wouldn' be so keen ta be tellin' tha story if it we're you who'd limped fer a week."

I obviously made a mistake trying to break the silence. The banter between brothers was distracting enough as it was that I'd nearly singed my raspberry glaze and they weren't even telling the story yet. "Did ya deserve to be limping?"

Brian snorted trying to cover up his laugh. "Knowing either of them, more then likely."

The brothers were immediately back on the same side, rounding on the older man. "We have no idea what yer on about. We've never been less then perfect gentlemen ta anyone one of the fairer sex." I imagined it was hard for Connor to keep a straight face while he said it. Murphy losing his composure again pretty much confirmed it.

"Aye, but she wasn' exactly the fairer one in tha' fight."

"Tell me ye didn' enjoy knockin' 'er out?"

"I didn' say tha."

"Exactly my point. Yer tha one who fought 'er."

My berries were the right thickness and I quickly moved them to a bowl and started boiling water for the oats. There were a few things I knew I could do with the apples though and set the oven to preheat while I sliced. The story was clearly not getting told but I had entertainment at the very least.

Romeo was quick to add fuel to the fire and looked downright gleeful when he spoke up. "Whoa man. Murph hit a lady? I thought-."

"Tha' **wasn't** a lady! It was a beast!"

"Tha long lost missing link!"

"A real live ogre!"

"She coulda been a villain on Scooby Doo!"

Connors last comment caused me to laugh so suddenly I forced myself to put down the knife. "Ya'll are awful! She couln'ta been that bad!"

Brian was shaking his head but when he looked up I could still see amusement in his eyes and I figured the whole conversation was a familiar one for him. When I looked to Romeo he was trying to swipe an apple slice behind my back and I didn't think twice before giving his hand a playful slap and then handing him one of the larger wedges.

When I looked back to Connor he was looking at me with a very serious expression and had a finger pointed at me. Murphy was quiet beside him also looking stern. "Ye didn' see tha woman lass. She coulda played mens sports an' no one would have known. I'm actually surprised wee little Murph was able ta take 'er down." They'd both cracked at the end and Murphy smacked his brother in the head.

"Whats this 'wee little Murph' shit? We're twins dumbass."

Before Connor could answer back the oven interrupted him and beeped to let me know it was ready. I quickly sprinkled some sugar over the sliced apples I had laid on a cookie sheet I found in the shelf below the stove and popped it in the oven. The oats were pretty much done by now as well and I even went to pour some into a bowl, before I realized I didn't have any.

Romeo had clearly been more interested in what I was doing with the food then the twins' antics though and had five in front of me before I could even ask. I divvied it up as evenly as I could without a proper spoon and carefully poured the gooey raspberry glaze over it all before sliding a bowl to each of them.

It had been a while since I'd fed anyone as vocally grateful as the four of them. What was one of the most basic of breakfasts at the prison was like a culinary experience for the men and they weren't being shy about letting me know. Connor and Murphys' moans were just shy of scandalous and had me blushing again, while Brian was nice enough to appreciate his with a more toned down version.

Romeo was the first one to actually compliment it though. "Damn girl! You **can** cook! Shit usually tastes like concrete but this is fucking good!" The brothers and Brian were all nodding along with the excited man. "I almost forgot what real food tastes like."

It was nice to hear someone actually liked what I cooked. Everyone in the prison would thank whoever was in the kitchen that day but no one ever really complimented the meals. It made me almost feel normal, like before the turn. A real kitchen (sorta… at least it looked like one), conversation, and people actually _enjoying_ what they were eating instead of just being happy there was food period.

Besides the brothers obnoxiously over exaggerated moaning everyone was fairly quiet through the rest of the small meal. By the time I cleaned my bowl I was able to catch hints of the sweet smelling apples in the oven. I was getting ready for what I was going to use the other half of the apples for when it dawned on me I'd need to clean the pot and all I saw was drinking water. "Uh guys? Is there any water to wash dishes with?"

Connor was up and out of the room so quickly it was like he'd just vanished. When he came back it was with a bucket of what I could only assume was the wash water. I'd left the oats slightly runny so it wasn't hard to get the pot rinsed and ready to go again. The homemade apple sauce was practically a no brainer and barley needed any prep and I only regretted that they didn't have any brown sugar for it instead of white.

Brian joined me on my side of the counter to wash his bowl and took the opportunity to peek in the large pot. "What are you making now?"

"Apple sauce. The slices in the oven are just gonna be sweet baked apples, but it's more fun then eating them plain."

"Your certainly able to do a lot with very little."

"Fruits easy. Ya can do just about anything to it and it'll taste good."

Connor was up and washing both his and Murphys bowls and must have caught me staring at the bucket full of water. "I figure we can break open a fire main an' have bucket fulls ta store fer hair an' clothes an' such." I'd been pretty sad to find out the well pump wasn't working and I wished there was enough spare water to get truly clean in. The offer of cleaning water was probably as sweet to me as my cooking was to them.

"I can't be the only one who wants to get clean."

"Murph an' I were livin' on a sheep farm na long before all this. None of this even comes close."

"I lived on a farm too thanks and just because I've dealt with worse doesn't mean I wont be happy to be clean again. What is with men that they don't care how shaggy they look?" The apples in the oven were done and a nice golden color when I pulled them out.

Murphy grabbed one and nearly dropped it before looking at me sheepishly. "Bit hot yet… Besides we're na nearly as 'shaggy' as we could be. Back in Ireland tha beards were halfway down our chests."

I tried to picture each of them with huge bushy beards and nearly choked on air at the image. Romeo's was by far the funniest in my head, he barely had more then a slightly overgrown goatee even now and putting a full length beard on him in my mind made him look like a troll. "I think tha means we should be trimmin' down again soon Murph. 'M na goin' ta be laughed at by tha only lady in tha group."

"So now I'm a lady?"

The light haired brother looked confused and slightly scared when he asked, "An' who said ye weren't?"

"So you tell masturbation jokes to all the women you know?" As far as payback for the embarrassing jokes went it wasn't my best work, but all four men were quick to try and back track now. "Oh no! Ya'll already went there, no takin' it back now. I'll be forever damaged I'm afraid, I'm sure I'll never recover." I gave Romeo and Brian a large wink and pretended to swoon. Both brothers went to catch me and had shocked expressions on their faces.

"Conn I don' think she's a angel anymore."

"Na, more like tha devil herself. An' here we were thinkin' we'd offended 'er!"

They both had an arm slung around my shoulders, very carefully not putting _any_ weight on them though, so I was sandwiched between them. "And if I was?"

Murphys expression was somber when he replied. "Then we'd be truly sorry an' askin' ye ta forgive us." There wasn't any joking left in his tone and I realized they honestly thought I was upset now.

"Then it's a good thing I know how to take a joke." After watching the men play with each other and joke it felt wrong to see the both of them so serious over something so small. I didn't know they'd take it so seriously when I'd asked and I felt horrible for bringing down the otherwise fun mood of the afternoon. "And my apples are gonna burn if I don't stir 'em. The slices should be cool enough now." I tried to keep my stiches in mind as I ducked under their arms to get back to the stove and still managed to feel them pull a little. I was happy they couldn't see the wince, no need to bring the mood down anymore.

The apples in the pot were actually done as well and I used the flat edge of the knife to try and break apart any of the larger pieces. The guys sounded like they were enjoying the baked slices as much as they had the oatmeal and I was happy I came back downstairs. Brians explanation earlier gave a whole new light to everything they did and looking at it all now I was glad to give something back.

I was getting tired from standing though and happily took the seat Romeo offered me next to painkillers were strong, but wearing out quickly. I hadn't spent that much time standing since they rescued me nearly a week ago and my ankle was beginning to throb in time with the little heartbeat that was now living under my stitches. Romeo nudged me under the counter and when I looked down he had one of the little white pills in his hand. There was no use arguing I wasn't in pain and wasn't so slow that I missed he was trying to be discrete. If they could tell I was in pain it would only make their misplaced guilt worse anyway and I didn't want to be responsible for that.

No one commented when I popped the little pill in my mouth. Brian just nudged my water closer and passed me an apple slice. Murphy was back to talking about how man-like the lesbian from the never to be told story was with interruptions from his brother every other sentence. Romeo nudged me again and jerked his head to the door, silently asking if I wanted to move to the giant floor mattress they made. Leaning back sounded fantastic so I grabbed a few more apples slices to take with me and made to get up.

No sooner was I on my feet then all the men were standing too, still talking amongst each other, but clearly going to follow me wherever I was going. I had a feeling handling all their attention was going to be exhausting. I was right though and they trailed behind me into the other room. I let Murphy help me get to the ground without fuss and secretly enjoyed his wary expression at my easy acceptance. Maybe I was a little too touchy… As amusing as the expression was, I was mad at myself for causing it in the first place. These men saved my life and I made it shocking to accept help.

The conversation shifted to the easiest water source. It was something I didn't know much about and just sat back and watched as they threw plan after plan out. I noticed Connor's tended to be overly, unnecessarily, elaborate and Romeo would usually back them while Murphy and Brian would either argue him down, flat out tell him no, or ignore him all together in the most extreme cases. It was entertaining and painful to watch all at the same time. They sounded like a less serious version of the council meetings I'd sat in on and the reminder of my family was bittersweet.

I eventually got bored as they were quickly getting nowhere and as my mind wandered I realized the pillows we were lounging on had definite sections, as though they were sleeping down here too. I wasn't going to interrupt to ask why when there were other beds in the house, but filed it away for later. However once I noticed that other things were jumping out at me. They were keeping everything packed up even though we were supposed to be staying for a few days yet. Even the bowls we'd just used were already secured back in the pack they came from. Only Connor wasn't facing the front door, and he was positioned directly between me and the boarded up entry. None of them had taken their weapons off that I'd seen either.

Everything together was making me uneasy, was this house actually safe? These men were obviously good at surviving, but so was Daryl and he'd thought the funeral home had been safe too. Something told me they weren't just being overly cautious, or that the threat was walkers. The only thing left would be if they thought someone living was going to show up. Now that was interruption worthy.

"Is this place safe?"

The sudden silence was startling after their nearly constant chatter. They were all looking at me now, eyes shifting to each other every few seconds. None of them looked prepared for my question and the fact they hadn't just answered yes let me know something wasn't right. "What haven't ya'll told me? If you're expecting trouble, shouldn't I know somethin' about it so I can get the hell outta the way if something happens?"

Romeo looked highly uncomfortable, but was the only one who was directly meeting my eyes. "We didn't wanna scare you."

"I've been scared for years now, what do I not know?" There was just so much to be afraid of that it was just a part of life now to be scared. It just made more sense to know what you were afraid of though, I refused to jump at shadows.

"The people we found were worked over pretty good… while they were alive. Someone tortured them and left them to die."

_Well… that was blunt. _

**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**

**So now Beth has figured out she's just not safe anywhere it seems. She's got the Saints looking out for her though so it shouldn't be a problem… probably…**

**Murphy's been demanding attention in my head though so that's what to look forward to next chapter. Shower scene maybe? **

**Let me know how I'm doing with that lovely review feature! Cause I now know I'm shameless and write faster after reading them. Ya'll are so great!**


	12. Winning Creatively

**So it's been almost a week. I am so sorry! Murphy was reading over my shoulder and laughing. And not in the good way. So I had to keep restarting the whole thing. And then I actually had to **_**get**_** to the shower scene I promised, cause I didn't want to read the reviews if it was left out lol.**

**Trying something new with the translations so let me know what you think of it this way. And for those of you who actually speak the languages used, I know I suck. They're riddled with mistakes but I'm lucky I can write in English and google isn't exactly the know it all it thinks it is. If anyone would like to volunteer to do the translations for me hit me up. I'd love if they were actually correct!**

**Chapter 12: Winning Creatively **

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

The girl was fucking insane! That was the only explanation I could accept. After Romeo told her point blank the last people to stay in this house were tortured to death she should have been terrified out of her mind. But no, instead she just looked at us with those big, innocent, blue eyes completely lacking in appropriate fear, and asked if we trusted her enough to let her have a gun. A fucking **gun**! Hell we would have given her one when she woke up if she'd have been strong enough to actually point the thing, that wasn't the point. What I really didn't like was she sounded like she was expecting to actually need to use it. "We won' let anythin' happen ta ye, ye know that right?" It felt like I was repeating that a lot.

Her expression went from apprehensively thoughtful to the panic I was expecting in a flash. "It's not that! It's just if somethin' **does** happen… ya'll can't be everywhere, and I'm not stupid enough to think I could do any good without one. I know ya just met me but it's not like I'm gonna shoot the guys who saved my life."

The thought of her actually trying to shoot one of us had actually never crossed my mind, and was actually slightly amusing even given the grave conversation. After everything she'd shared with us I still found it hard to believe this girl would ever willingly harm a living, breathing, human being, even if she should. I had no intention of telling her she couldn't have the gun but couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't have Conn jumping up my ass again. No one else was jumping in to fill the silence so at least I wasn't alone in the "what do you say to that" boat.

Duffy grabbed a gun from the closest duffle, one of my old berretta's, and checked the clip before handing it to the blonde and digging in the bag again, this time coming up with its matching twin and their silencers. Her panic vanished and I was glad Duff was the one to make the first move, the smile she gave all of us was brilliant and even the bruising couldn't hide her joy. If I'd known giving her a gun would have made her that happy I would have made sure she woke up with one.

I still didn't want to be the first one to talk, and possibly screw up the easy way the dangerous topic had been handled. She was happy and unafraid, which was enough for me; it wasn't like we were going to let anyone get close enough to her that she'd need the gun anyway. Across from us Conn looked about how I felt. Duffy must have been the only one with a still functioning brain anymore, bringing the attention back to the map we'd been arguing over before her rather loaded question.

The discussion was slow to get back on track and no one had any really bright ideas on how to transport enough water to make everyone one happy. I had the sinking suspicion we were going to be hauling water the old fashioned way, one bucket at a time. Personally I didn't care that it'd been a while since we cleaned up and I highly doubted the others did either. It would make the Beth happy though, and give us something to focus on besides the overly floral wallpaper surrounding us so it was better than doing nothing.

Connor was in the middle of trying to convince everyone if we found a large enough hose that we could fill it and drag it back to the house, one of his less dramatic plans but still stupid. "Why don't ya just find a yellow pages and look for one of those water delivery places? If you still have to open a main at least we could carry it easier."

_Why didn' one of us think'a tha'?_ Beth's idea was not only the best by far but also the safest. I was just going to ignore the "we" comment for my own sake of mind. She wasn't leaving this house until she could walk three feet without groaning like one of the dead.

"That or if you think you're up to it, hitting one of the big stores like a Walmart."

"Those are the first places people raided. We ain't gonna find no water there." Romeo's statement had zero tact and the girl looked at him for a second like she was ready to put him in his place. I actually wouldn't have minded seeing **that**, I was sick of being the main target for her feminist fury.

I could have sworn I heard her mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "I'm not _that_ blonde." But the irritation in her expression faded into something more caught between amusement and resignation before she replied. "Well no, but no one would have been thinking to take those big garbage cans with the wheels. And if there aren't too many walkers there's tons of stuff that people overlooked as weapons."

When she mentioned the large chain store I thought she was just throwing ideas out like the rest of us. Sure, it **could **work, but in reality it wasn't going to happen. The places were nothing but giant death traps now, littered with bodies that could potentially eat you, and so much open air every footstep echoed. They were always picked clean of anything useful, anyway, that even trying wasn't worth it. "_Amoureux_, what weapons could possibly make it worth it?" Connor didn't look happy, but what did he want? Me just never to talk to the girl again? I wasn't the only one who'd been an ass and it wasn't like I was calling her an idiot, I was honestly curious. What all had we overlooked assuming there would be nothing.

"Knitting needles for one. They're very light and if you lose them it's no big deal. And if we're really expecting company here ya can't go wrong with a few bags of fertilizer." She was smiling now, with a far off look, and I couldn't help but wonder for the thousandth time where her mind took her. This time it was a happy place at least, I couldn't stand to see her shoulders slump, her skin pale, and the utter despair and hopelessness make her eyes look dead inside when the thoughts weren't so pleasant. It was like a rusty knife to the gut and it was bad enough she got it, even just for a second, when she looked at me.

I didn't want to be the one to admit I had no clue what help fertilizer would be though. Connor was looking at Duffy like he knew the answer but he looked just as lost as we were. Romeo was the only one who seemed to have any clue and was laughing his ass off. Since I was closer it was my turn to smack him.

Connor was about to say something when his mouth snapped shut and comprehension lit his face. It went from understanding to impressed awe before giving Beth a dangerous smile. "Ye know yer shit. Literally. I can' believe none of us thought'a tha' back in Boston. Would have been damned useful too."

Whatever the fuck could make my brother look that happy talking about unconventional weapons had to be good. _What a fuckin' shame I still don' know what that is!_ Duffy was still lost with me and looked just as curious.

Looking at Beth again I could practically watch the confidence in her whole body language growing with Connors exited babble about where to put what to do the most damage. It made a dramatic difference and I could tell no matter how well she was able to defend her independence with us, she was in no way ok with everything that had happened to her.

Her smile reached her eyes now and they were practically glowing. Her shoulders were straight, but not stiff like they were when she was being defensive. Her accent was just a touch heavier and her tone just a little softer, her words sounded like warm, thick hunny, slow and sweet. I'd never been the poetic brother and even thinking the words made me feel like an idiot but it was the only comparison I could make. We were looking at the real Beth, who she would have been if the world hadn't gone crazy. She had walked, and talked, and smiled and done everything she was doing right now before but there hadn't been any life in it. No one else seemed to notice the changes and I wasn't going to be the one to point it out and have her back to the way she'd been.

I must have been staring for too long, her hand gently touching mine made me realize she was calling my name, and probably had been for a bit if Conns weird look was anything to go on. "Aye? Sorry just tryin' ta think of anythin' else we didn' think of."

Connor sounded like there was nothing wrong when he continued but I could see the warning in his eyes. _Don't freak her out._ "Fertilizer's explosive. We're about out of tha C4 an' na alot of people would think twice walkin' by bags a Miracle Grow. It would actually be worth it if tha place in't overrun."

Beth's hand was still on top of mine, nearly weightless, just a barely there warmth that was more distracting then I cared to admit. "Then I say we hit tha nearest whatever-mart in tha mornin'. We might as well go car shoppin' while we're out too."

Duffy started rifling through the stack of maps we had for the state before Romeo proved, again, he was with us for more than comedic relief. "Fuck another car man. Lets' just go jack a u-haul trailer. There was a movin' place like ten minutes down the road."

I hadn't seen that look on Duffy's face since the last time Smecker pointed out the obvious in his "You're not really **that **stupid, are you?" voice. Come to think of it I didn't miss that voice. "We should pick it up on our way out tomorrow, it'll make things faster to load." It was another good idea. We hadn't tried for one of the mega chains since the early days of the outbreak. The place could be completely empty or untouched. Trying to guess what was left to make a list was going to be interesting.

Beth's tiny fingers twitched on top of my hand and with how close she was I could see her chewing the inside of her cheek. With as often as she put her foot down when she claimed we were "hovering" I'd say she was nervous to speak up now. Flipping my hand over I gave hers a questioning squeeze, trying to ask without calling attention to her again. She shrugged just enough that I didn't miss it but she wasn't looking at me or anyone else, just somewhere between Connor and the door.

I wasn't expecting her to go quiet now and had no idea what to do. She was fine just a few minutes ago, showing all of us up, coming up with the only two plans that would have actually worked. What the hell happened? We were going with her plan, _Shit we even put knittin' needles on tha shopping list fer Christ's sake. _And then it clicked. The planning was done, we were talking about what to grab while we were there now. She was fine as long it was just throwing ideas out, and now I'd bet my last cigarette she was nervous to ask us to grab something specific for her.

Romeo was talking about hitting the electronics section to see what kind of wires were left and Conn and Duffy were debating about splitting up if things weren't too bad. "We should check tha woman's clothes too. Now yer awake we can grab ye a pair of pants that fit." I saw Connor studying Beth now. I could feel the question in the air, _what am I missing_? "We haven' made a run with a female in mind in a while have we Conn. Ye should probably just make us a list so we don' miss anythin'." The grip on my hand tightened and I knew I'd guessed right. Connor nodded, understanding she wasn't comfortable asking outright. He looked about as pleased as I felt about her selective shyness.

"We should all stock up on clothes now. It's got to get colder sooner or later and everything I've gots so holey it should be in a church." Duffy humor, haha.

Beth was yawning not long later and before I could offer to take her upstairs she rearranged herself to lay on her good side and gestured to my lap with her head. I wasn't going to tell her no, and seconds later her eyes were closed and face peaceful. I worried that she still slept as much as she was, barely able to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time, and didn't want to disturb her by trying to move her to the bed upstairs if she was comfortable.

Under the worry though I was even happier than I expected that she was willing to be so familiar with me after days of watching the barely there flinch when I got close. I'd give her credit, she was subtle; to the point I was sure only Connor and I even noticed it. It helped, and it didn't, realizing it was likely because I reminded her of someone. I couldn't tell if the Daryl she mentioned had hurt her or if being reminded of losing him was what caused her hesitation with me but this was the first time she had willingly put herself that close to me since introducing herself when she first woke up. She'd casually touched the others, and never made a fuss when it was me, but the hesitation was still there and I was happy to be seeing it go.

Eventually we all agreed there would be no way to come up with a set list and to just rank the importance of sections and attack in grids. It would take longer but was the only way we could be sure nothing was sneaking up on us. We'd syphon gas from as many cars as we could out in the lot before actually trying for anything on the inside. With the extra room the trailer would give us we weren't overly worried about over stocking and getting gas now would save us a lot of walking later down the road.

It wasn't even dark yet when we finalized the plan and ran out of anything to talk about. Since starting South we'd had to be silent more often than not and it wasn't usually so oppressive. Rome was twitching spectacularly, trying not to be the first one to open up the Beth topic while Conn and Duff just steady stared me down. She was still out and had wrapped her arms around my leg in her sleep and was holding on tightly, ensuring I wasn't going anywhere soon.

I would have bet money Rome would have been the first to break but Connor beat him to it. "She's looking awfully comfy there Murph." He had the same shit eating grin he had on New Years' Eve the year I'd been chatting up Shannon Kelly, who'd been so drunk by midnight she'd vomited seconds after kissing me.

"Just goes ta prove 'er tastes improving. She was bound ta get tired of ye sooner or later Conn."

"I thought I was her favorite?" Duffy looked nearly as amused as the other two, it was going to be a three on one fight to get them to shut up.

"You want ta be tha livin' pillow?"

Romeo's hand shot into the air, "Oh oh! Me! I didn't know we got to volunteer. You were bein' a dick anyway."

If Beth hadn't been so wrapped around me I'd have kicked him, so I had to settle for a single finger salute. "Fuck you Pepe. I wasn' being a dick, I just wasn' being **not** a dick. She was up an' screamin', what tha fuck was I ta think?"

"Well ye shouldn'ta yelled at 'er that's fer damn sure!"

"Fuck you too. Tha only reason ye get ta say anythin's cause I opened my mouth before ye."

"Whatever. She doesn' seem ta care now anyway, all snuggled up an' such."

_I should 'ave just taken 'er upstairs._ At least then I could have stayed in the room with her and avoided Connors knowing smirk. Bastard knew I'd been twisting in the wind waiting for the little blonde to move past her hesitancy around me, and her position now was a big deal for me. "If ye have a problem with it move 'er yerself."

Connor kept smiling but didn't move to dislodge her. "It'll be more fun ta watch ye try an' get tha leg back yerself in tha mornin'."

Duffy interjected before Rome could add his two cents. "If the two of you are done fighting over her like a couple of dogs with a bone? Have any of you taken a look at her list?"

The way he asked about the list had me curious, he sounded like he found whatever she wrote amusing. Connor was shaking his head and Rome had already snatched the paper towel she'd written everything she wanted on and was starting to look a little red in the face. "Not it!"

"Ye can' call not it. Grids remember. It can' be tha' bad. What? She want a romance novel or somethin'?" Connors optimism was funny, whatever had our Mexican turning that shade of pink was more than just a mushy book.

"No, you cocksucker. She's got tampons on here though man and a fuckin' bra! I don't want to know what the fuck kinda underwear she's got on!"

He was starting to get loud and Connor noticed as quickly as I did when she shifted restlessly. "Keep yer shit fit down La Bomba. If it's on tha list we're gettin' it so quit bitchin' before ye wake 'er up." It wasn't my brothers finest insult but it shut Romeo up quickly and Beth didn't move again so I wouldn't give him shit for the uncreative comment.

It made sense that she'd need those thing and we would have never thought of them for her. I still couldn't figure out why it had been such a big deal for her to ask for it though, surely she'd had to ask for similar things in the past. I wanted to believe it was just because she'd not been with us long but figured my luck couldn't possibly be that good.

The sweet smell of everything she made was still lingering in the air. "Hey is there any cookin' shit on there?" She couldn't possibly want to get by with just what we had, which was next to nothing.

"Yea. She's got another pot on here and a cutting board. For real? This house don't have that shit?"

Duffy, who'd been the one to go through the kitchen area, shook his head. "It looks like whoever lived here packed up everything they owned. I'm surprised she found the cookie sheet, I couldn't find a spoon. But that can't be all she wants."

Romeo must have stopped reading the list when he saw the personal products, he was looking back down scanning the towel quickly. "A peeler, plastic zipper bags, a skillet, and a whisk. That's it. The rest is the clothes and other stuff." The face he made when he said 'other' was a cross between horror and embarrassment.

Duffy chose to overlook his drama and looked concerned. "That's not a lot. Nothing personal-."

"Fucking tampons!"

Duff reached over and smacked him in the back of the head glaring at him. "Didn't someone just tell you to keep it down? It's not that personal, we had to get them for the girls back home all the time so just shut up about it or you'll make her feel bad." I glanced down to make sure she was still asleep and not listening to Rome complain. Her breathing was still deep and even and her face was just as peaceful. She already had problems asking for things, hearing the idiot freak out over something so stupid wouldn't make things better. "And I meant things like books or crafts of some sort. Besides the clothes nothing else is just for her."

Conn caught my eye and looked purposefully at the girl in my lap. "_Yesli oni ne vidyat yego , chto eto ne nashe mesto, chtoby skazat' im_." (Russian: **If they don't see it it's not our place to tell them.**)

"_Romeo dolzhen perestat' zhalovat'sya . Chto, yesli ona slyshit yego?"_ (Russian: **Romeo needs to stop complaining. What if she hears him?**)

"Hey motherfucker, I heard my name! Fuck you both in the ass with a rusty pole."

Connor just ignored the outburst and I pointed the nearest weapon at him, a serrated hunting knife, my threat clear. Duffy didn't look any happier about our lack of sharing but probably knew he wouldn't get anywhere if we really didn't want to say and wasn't willing to chance the headache. "_Yesli vy skazhite, chto on poluchit lyubopytno. Nachnite zadavat' voprosy ona mogla ne khochu otvechat' . Ona sdelala svoy punkt o vozmozhnosti obrabatyvat' sebya , no yesli ona dazhe ne khochu poprosit' bol'she odezhdy ona, veroyatno, boleye khrupkiye , to ona khochet priznat'sya._" (Russian:** If you tell him he'll get curious. Start asking questions she might not want to answer. She's made her point about being able to handle herself but if she didn't even want to ask for more clothes she's probably more fragile then she wants to admit.**)

I looked down at the mass of wavy blonde hair spread across my lap and wished I could just ask the girl what** she** wanted. Connor was right though, and I wasn't going to let Romeo bug her and make whatever it was worse. "She probably thinks we'd be grabbin' tha' kind of stuff anyway. Tha book sections are always close ta tha front, won' be hard ta just grab what's there."

Rome seemed satisfied that the matter was closed but Duffy didn't look as convinced. He didn't say anything but he was looking between me and Conn like he knew we were hiding something. It wasn't hard to figure that though and if he didn't speak up before I was confident he wouldn't now.

The whole thing had effectively killed the teasing mood though and it was silently agreed that we could all use the sleep before tomorrow. I got lucky and pulled the long straw so I wouldn't have to be on watch tonight and tried to make myself as comfortable as I could without disturbing Beth. As soon as I shifted though her arms let go of my leg and wound around my waist, pulling herself closer to me and burrowing her face into my side. I thought I might have heard a soft "Don't leave." but couldn't be sure. Connor was just looking at the two of us with a serious expression. _Maybe she's na tha only one keepin' secrets._

Whatever it was wasn't worth dealing with Romeo being angry over another conversation he wouldn't understand so I planned to corner him later. For now I moved Beth's hair from her face so she wouldn't suffocate and wrapped an arm around her loosely before closing my eyes, trying to ignore the lead brick in my gut at the thought of leaving her alone again the next day.

Connor was right. The next morning I had to practically peel Beth off of me. Sometime during the night we'd managed to shift so that she was laying half on top of me, one of her slim legs between mine. One of her arms had even made it beneath my shirt and her thumb was lightly rubbing directly over my heart. It hadn't been a problem until she'd **stretched **in her sleep and her whole body pushed against me. The last thing I wanted was for her to wake up and feel the after effects of her unintentional caress. Conn had about laughed his ass off when she woke up enough to tell me she'd wake up in five more minutes.

I wasn't the only quiet one in the car when we left shortly after. We'd left her with plenty of full ammo clips, just in case, and a worn crime novel Duffy had managed to dig out that I didn't recognize. She actually had given us each a hug before leaving, for luck she'd said. When she got to me she'd blushed and whispered a quiet thank you before letting me go. Connor had watched with the same expression from the night before and I got the distinct feeling I had missed something. His parting "We'll be back." made me think back to her quiet "Don't leave." The night before and the lead feeling only got worse, so I resolved to ignore it all for now and just focus on the run.

Breaking into the storage center was easy and the trailers were nearly untouched so we had our pick. Getting the lock off the hitch of the medium sized trailer had proven to be the most challenging part of the whole goal. We made it in and out without seeing a single walker.

The nearest super center was actually a Walmart only about ten miles away from our temporary home. The lot was barricaded off and there were military vehicles and tents covering half the black top. The other half was crowded with cars and through all of it I could see heads moving slowly through the wreckage.

There weren't nearly as many dead ones as I'd been expecting and it wasn't until Duffy pointed out the broken barricades on the other side of the lot that I relaxed a little. They'd probably mostly escaped through there in search of food. With how few we could see it was decided Connor and Rome would search around the tents for anything the elements hadn't totally destroyed while Duff and I syphoned gas. It was a tedious job that literally left a bad taste in my mouth but stocking up was just the smart thing to do now that we had the room. _Why tha hell didn' we think of a trailer sooner?_

We'd left the house before dawn and made good time getting the u-haul but it was still nearly noon by the time we all met back up at the car. The sun was high and the Georgia heat felt like it was cooking me alive on the black top. Romeo backed the SUV straight up to the doors and we made sure all the doors were open for easy access in case things went FUBAR.

The interior of the store was trashed, with entire checkout isle's toppled over and random items thrown on the floor. There was gang graffiti covering every exposed wall and a pile of bodies nearly 15 feet long stacked 8-10 bodies high in one of the seasonal sections up front. I couldn't hear any moaning or groaning though and said a quick prayer that the entire situation wasn't some horrible "too good to be true" situation.

We started towards the home maintenance section to pick up the trash cans first so we could use them to haul anything we found. Beth was right, the section was a mess but almost nothing was missing. We only passed five walkers along the way that were easily taken care of and I finally started feeling a little better about the plan. Electronics and the food section were more picked over, but there was still plenty left lying around and there were only another handful or two of dead waiting.

Moving slowly isle by isle was nerve wracking at best and with every step I cringed at the echo it caused. The clothes section was just as messed up as the rest of the store and it took a while to find anything in Beth's size. The men's wasn't as bad but the selection was more 'summery' and men didn't wear sweaters over everything so there wasn't much for us to grab for ourselves.

We had to pass the tiny book section on the way to home goods and we all just threw anything with an interesting cover in a can. Home goods and crafts was another gold mine. Knitting needles were at the top of the list and there were tons of them, there were still candles on the shelf and we were able to grab the kitchen things Beth asked for. We grabbed some of the heavier blankets, and all the towels we could find. There was almost an isle full of the small to large kitchen towels that nearly half filled one of the cans. Romeo disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a portable shower kit. Looking at Duffy and Connor I knew none of us had thought to get one, Beth would be sure to appreciate it.

The personal care section looked like a bomb had been set off, shelves knocked down, floor slick with various hair products. For all of Rome's bitching about tampons he showed he was the thoughtful one again when he grabbed the last of the conditioner bottles and any ladies razors he could find. Connor added a few packages of hair ties and Duffy threw in a hand mirror and a box of hair dye. I didn't want to risk talking and he shrugged off my questioning gestures. Since none of them seemed like they'd be getting to the feminine hygiene section any time soon I went ahead and grabbed every box left on the shelf, she could figure out what she wanted herself.

Duffy and Rome went to check the pharmacy and came back with only a few bottles of aspirin and some band aids. Connor took point going into the garden section and no sooner then he'd stuck his head around the corner than he pulled it back and motioned us back. "There's a good few dozen in there. If we can get around them an' draw them ta tha plant section there should be a gate."

Fuck. If there was a way to do this without using bullets we had to at least try it, but at best the plan was dangerous, if not straight out suicidal. Romeo was our fastest runner and he was already unloading any unnecessary weight that would slow him down. "We should have a second runner. Take tha outsides an' come back up tha middle. Rome, go left, I'll take tha right." He nodded that he understood and I started stripping out of anything the dead could latch onto and double checked my clips didn't need to be changed out.

Duffy was looking hard at the trash cans. He signaled us to wait and went off back into the maintenance section and came back with can lids and held one in front of him like a shield before giving one to Romeo and I. I nodded my thanks, anything to keep the dead out of knawing reach.

Romeo and I took our own cautious looks around the corner to get a layout of where we'd need to be running. It was going to be tight, but with two of us drawing them to different sides there shouldn't be too much of a pile up. Conn and Duffy had silenced guns out and ready while Rome went with a machete. I'd try and stick to my bowie knife and hope someone with a gun's aim didn't go wide.

As soon as we were around the corner heads were turning in our direction, milky eyes finding food and launching the mass of bodies towards us. I cut through the patio furniture to get to the far wall as they got more frenzied. Romeo was already on the move for the separate plant area with close to probably thirty on his heels, tripping over each other in a snarling mass of starving excitement. One slamming into a chair right behind me had me moving even faster to put some distance between me and my own entourage of the damned.

A meaty decayed hand caught the back of my shirt and I turned, thrusting up with the knife, into the fleshy underside of what would have been the chin of a very large woman, if it hadn't already been torn out. She went down and I had to scramble and use my trash lid to get some distance from another half dozen that swarmed sensing a weakness. Two went down in a spray of blood as bullets burst through the front of their skulls and I was able to catch up to Romeo going through the aisles of plants. I caught sight of Connor and Duffy waiting at the gates, already having them mostly closed.

We were halfway back to the gate when a face popped out from under the counter behind Connor. I'd fired the bullet before it fully registered I had the gun in my hand, and then we were sliding through the fence and it was being slammed shut and jammed behind us. Barely seconds later the bodies of the dead crashed into the steel, arms reaching through the holes, peeling flesh from the bone trying to get at the meal we presented.

They were making a lot of noise so we got to work quickly. Bags of fertilizer completely filled one bin, and Duff was busy filling another one with bags of charcoal still sitting on a forklift. A sharp whistle from Rome told us we were out of time, the fence was going to give.

Making it back to the car felt almost anti-climactic. For all of us being so sure sticking to small storefronts was the way to go the mega store had provided more in a few hours then we usually found in a week. Having only the one large group of walkers to deal with I'd actually call the run easy.

It took less than ten minutes to make it back to the house and before we even headed towards the door Connor grabbed one of the axes and started to the fire hydrant a few lots down. Duffy was right behind him with a stack of cans ready to be filled.

Romeo waved over to me and pointed up to the house. "Hey, I'm gonna start getting this shit inside. We aughta bust a few holes in the trailer too if were gonna keep the gas in there. Stuffs strong enough to burn your eyebrows off in there."

I waved him off and stuck my head in storage container, quickly pulling back. He was right, without more ventilation it was just going to be an explosion waiting to happen. We'd have to let it air out before trying to open up any holes though, otherwise the tearing metal could spark and send it all up in smoke. I grabbed the second stack of empty cans and went to help Conn try and break open the hydrant. No matter what it was going to be loud and we were going to have to move quick.

All together we had about a dozen cans left over for the water and once it started flowing they were filled up quickly. Taking two cans each we were on the second trip when I could just make out movement at the end of the street. Getting through the door I looked for Beth by the fireplace where we'd left her in the morning and felt my heart skip when she wasn't there. And then I was assaulted by a panicked ball of gold, hands moving my head this way and that way, skimming over my arms and chest. She even went so far as to try and spin me around. "What the hell Romeo! You said no one was hurt!"

She was worried about me! It was only then I noticed I was soaked with blood and understood why. "It's na mine, no need ta worry. Just got a little too close ta a bleeder." She didn't look any less worried and I felt slightly guilty for the warm feeling in my chest seeing it.

Romeo was nearly upside down digging through one of the cans and Conn had to jump and steady it when he shifted to hard. "You should be nicer to the guy who got you a portable shower thing, maybe I won't share now?" When he emerged he tossed the package at her and I grabbed it before she tried to catch it.

I was prepaired for another "I can do it myself" argument but she just smiled up at me before rounding on Rome. "Well you should be nicer to the girl who cooked you dinner. I'd say maybe I won't share but I'm just not that mean." The nearly silent sniffle was perfectly timed and Romeo's face filled with horror and panic.

"Aw shit, it was just a joke. Common please? Please don't cry."

I wasn't able to see Beth's face, being behind her, but Duffy and Conn both started laughing and Rome looked like he'd been kicked in the balls. "See, I can joke too."

"Not mean my ass! Crying's cheating."

"You say cheating, I say winning creatively." Her slim shoulder moved in a shrug and with that she walked off into the kitchen.

Duffy was right behind her and stopped dead in the doorway. "Is that spaghetti?"

I caught Connors eye and we both pushed past the man. "Move it or 'm eating yer share." It was an empty threat but Duff was at the counter before we were and Rome was right behind us. Sitting in the pot was a pile of what looked like ramen noodles topped with red sauce. The tomatoes smelled fragrant and I could see onion and green flecks in the red. If it tasted even half as good as it smelled Beth was going to be my new personal hero.

Before I was able to spoon any into a bowl waiting off to the side she pulled the pot away and made a 'tsk'ing sound. "It's not done just yet, I still have tomatoes roasting in the oven. You can have some of the apple sauce from last night though. Speaking of, was there any tupperware left for me to pour it into? It won't stay good long out like that."

We all nodded at the same time causing her to smile and shake her head. It wasn't our fault we were looking forward to another real meal that was more than just a can of heated hash or beans. "Well if dinners na done 'm just goin' ta go get tha blood out. Someone better come get me when it is though."

I didn't bother waiting for a reply; the fresh blood was helping to bring out the other funky smells clinging to me and while I could stand it there was no point when I could take an actual shower. Someone, probably Rome, had already dragged a full can of water into the larger of the two bathrooms on the first floor so I only had to grab "cleaner" clothes and the straight razor we used whenever we couldn't stand the extra hair anymore.

Stripping down I was happy we grabbed more clothing while we could. Even if it wouldn't be enough for the coming cold, what I had on wasn't worth saving and having backup pants had become a luxury we hadn't bothered with in months.

Trimming down the wild tangle my hair had become and taking out most of my beard left my head feeling pounds lighter. Actually seeing my whole face looking back at me from the mirror was something I didn't get to see often anymore and I was shocked I almost didn't recognize myself. _Maybe Beth had a point about tha scruffiness._ The razor was just as sharp as it always was and cut good and close, even if my hair was a little uneven.

The water was room temperature and the pressure from the hose was pathetic and I still couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so good. It took three and a half bag fulls of water before what was going down the drain stopped being pink and I decided it wouldn't be a waste to start using the soap. I felt like I was peeling my own skin off but the dirt was slowly letting go. I wouldn't admit it to her if you held a gun to my head but Beth had been right. Being truly clean again, for the first time in weeks, felt amazing.

It felt so good in fact my next two bags of water I just let pour over my head. It might have been a waste but I wouldn't blame anyone else if they did the same. The first wash of soap through my hair though went down the drain a dark brown, and the second and third weren't much better. I had my eyes closed in the middle of scrubbing the soap in the fourth time when I heard the door click open and Beth's surprised "Oh!"

She was in the doorway, face a deep red, and looking anywhere but at me. It was actually kind of cute how flustered she was. "Couldn' wait yer turn?"

She was so red it looked like it should have burned. She opened and closed her mouth several times before anything actually came out. "Umm n-no. Ya wanted someone to… uh… come and get ya though…the-the foods ready!" It was barely more than a squeak by the end and she fled the room almost before she was done.

_Well tha' was fun. _My ego had never needed help before but her reaction was like a cherry on top of a very good day. The water was still murky when I rinsed again but there was real food waiting and I was already cleaner then I'd been in weeks so I didn't bother trying to go back and do it again.

Skipping the towel entirely I just shook the extra water off a bit before getting dressed. The jeans and t-shirt clung a little close and Beth blushed as soon as I entered the kitchen and looked away again before pushing a full bowl to me.

"Fuck, I forgot what ye looked like under all tha'. How's it feel ta be clean?" Conn was already running a hand through his beard thoughtfully, eyeing his still half full bowl as though he'd stop eating and go shave down.

"It's fuckin' weird. Took damn near tha whole can before tha water'd run clear."

Duffy was scratching at his own beard while Rome ignored everything but his bowl. "We might as well use the water while we've got the chance. Who knows how long it'll be before we have this much again."

Beth's head shot up and she looked between her bowl and the doorway a few times. "Ya know what? I had one of those power bars for lunch and I'm just not that hungry. Why don't I just go clean up while ya'll finish eating? Less of a wait that way… Were there any clothes in those cans for me?"

Romeo was in the middle of his last mouthful and jumped up heading into the main room, Beth trailing behind. After my first bite I knew why he'd been done so quickly. The sauce completely masked the tasteless noodles. It was sweet and juicy, and I'm not sure how but it tasted warm. I'd have said smokey but it just didn't cover it and warm was the only thing my brain was willing to accept.

No one broke the comfortable silence as we ate, content to just enjoy the flavorful meal and bask in the days productivity. We may have stopped moving but we hadn't been this flush with supplies in a long while and it was a relief not to have to worry about how we were going to find our next meal.

Eventually though all of our bowls were empty and there was only cleanup left. Duffy had dug out the storage containers for the remaining food and with Rome, Connor and I all doing the dishes they were done and dry in just a few minutes. We still had to go through and organize everything we'd brought back today and we had a good half dozen or more cans full to keep us busy.

The work was boring as hell after the all-day tension trying to get all of it but had to be done. We couldn't keep spending five minutes getting to the bottom of one just for a box of matches. Two of the cans at least were nothing but fertilizer and charcoal that didn't have to be unloaded. It was just my fantastic luck that I picked the can I'd dumped two dozen or more tampon boxes on. Looking at them all now I realized it might embarrass her and wondered what the hell I could do to get rid of some of them without looking like a total idiot. Beneath the boxes were stacks of books that I threw to the pile the others had started from their bins. I was nearly to the next layer of stuff when a very feminine "Fuck!" echoed through the room.

Duffy was the first one to the door surprisingly, banging on it while calling out. "Beth! Are you ok?!" When she didn't answer he started banging harder. "Beth if you don't answer we're coming in!" There was only silence on the other side of the door and he took a step back getting ready to kick the door in when it opened.

She stood there dripping wet wrapped up in a towel. Her eyes were clenched tightly closed and her face was pinched in pain. There was blood soaking through the towel and dripping down her bare leg. I pushed past Duffy and picked her up as gently as I could. "Get tha stiches Duff. Was there anythin' stronger then what she's already been takin'?"

He was already on his way to the pack full of medical supplies while Connor and Rome cleared the area for somewhere flat to lay her. I saw her lips moving and I leaned closer to make out what she was saying and even then I couldn't make it out. Whatever it was she was repeating herself, her lips making the same words over and over.

Duffy had a vile full of clear fluid I assumed would be the painkiller ready to go when I set her down. Thankfully the cut was mostly clean already, and we could see the numerous broken threads. I still half held her as Connor and Duffy got to work pulling the useless sutures out and pouring alcohol over the wound. I could feel every flinch she gave, grateful as they lessened in severity as the drugs kicked in. One of her hands was clutching my shirt while the other had a death grip on one of my arms that didn't weaken even against the drugs.

It only took about twenty minutes to have her patched up but it felt like hours as she clung to me a steady stream of tears pouring down her face. Connor and Duffy had her blood covering their arms like some sick second skin so Romeo went and grabbed her clothes back out of the bathroom and followed me up the stairs to the room she'd stayed in the other night. He was quick to leave when I started to pull the towel completely off her to dress her.

Getting her into her clothes was made easier thanks to her choice of mismatching sweat pants and baggy tank top. She was still half awake and tried to help but didn't seem to have the energy to do much more then lift her arms a few inches before it became too much. I could feel a familiar rage building with every tear she shed, a rage that had no place in the room with her and I had to viciously shove aside till I could go kill something. _If tha' motherfucker weren't already dead I'd kill 'im with my bare hands._

I didn't want to leave the room now that she was dressed, but I didn't want to risk her picking up on the anger that was like a vibrating hum under my skin. Better to just let her rest. Before I made it to the door her softly whispered "Please don't leave." stopped me dead. Her voice was weak and slurred and she was struggling to sit up, like she'd get up and stop me from leaving herself.

I moved quickly back to the bed and tried to get her to lay back down. "Yer ok Beth. I won' go anywhere." Her hand made a grab for me and I caught it in my own. "No one's goin' anywhere. It's probably just the drugs getting you scared."

"No it's not the drugs. Everyone leaves, like I told Connor. Everyone leaves and then you're alone. I should have listened when ya told me I was doin' too much. Brian told me to be careful. I just lifted the bag and it felt like I was on fire... I should have just listened..."

_Of course now she wants ta agree with me now tha' I feel like a ass about it._ "_Ná éisteacht le dom. Tá mé ar dick agus an raibh an ceart agat, bhí mé míréasúnta. _(Irish: **Don't listen to me. I'm a dick and you were right, I was unreasonable.**) None of this is yer fault, do ye hear me Beth? An' no one's leavin' anyone. I bet Connor told ye the same."

"He doesn't know what he's talkin' about." She had to stop to yawn and I took the opportunity and shifted a little lower. Her arms moved to circle my waist and she buried her face in my chest. "He said ya don't leave people. But I have. I had a list somewhere... I'd have to add Daryl and everyone else to it now... I left them all instead of stayin' and fightin'."

The night before flashed back to me. Her quiet plea not to leave, just like tonight's. Connor serious expression, probably thinking back to his own conversation with her. "'M sure if stayin' would have helped ye would have. Ye can't leave tha dead behind, they're already gone."

She was quiet for a moment, and I thought maybe she'd fallen to sleep, when she lifted her head and locked eyes with me. There was so much pain in her's I'd have promised her the moon and sun to see it go. "Daryl was alive. Maggie was alive. Rick was alive. I know I'm drugged but I know what I'm sayin'. Connor told me I was a good person and he was wrong about that too. I'm a coward. I don't want to be alone..."

_No fuckin' wonder Conn didn' tell me about this. What could I say?_ "Yer not alone. An' I don' care if ye don' believe me, we're na leavin' ye fer nothin'. _Lo non ti lascerò, anche nella morte. Solo gli sciocchi abbandonano angeli." _(Italian:** I will not leave you, even in death. Only fools forsake angels**.)

She had yet to break eye contact, but hers were becoming unfocused and hazy. "I don' what that means. Why do ya'll keep doin' that?"

"Doin' what?"

"Sayin' things so I can't understand."

Good things couldn't last. She was bound to ask eventually. "Can' say for my brother, but there are some things 'm only be able ta say **because **ye don' understand. I don' want ta scare ye."

Her eyes were barely open now and I could literally watch the struggle it was to keep them that way. "Why would it scare me?"

Telling her would defeat the purpose altogether, but I didn't want to lie either. "Because tha truth, even if it's good, can be scary if yer na ready for it. Go ta sleep now, I can tell yer tired."

When she frowned it was more of a pout and I had to hold myself back from smoothing out the little lines it caused above her eyes. "I hate these drugs. I don't wanna sleep. What if I wake up and your all a dream, and I'm still there and they're still alive?"

Jesus! The girl was walking around terrified we didn't exist! _How tha fuck did we __**not **__notice this?!_ "I don' know what ta say... What can I do ta prove 'm real?"

"Stay...just stay. And if you're here when I wake up... then I'll know..."

_Holy... we left 'er ta wake up alone. Tha's why Rome scared 'er so easy, why she came down at all._ As if I hadn't already been feeling like an ass about the whole other morning, knowing it was my own fault for leaving her caused something in my chest to twist painfully. "I'll be here. I'll be here every mornin' ye want me ta be."

She gave me what could pass as a smile before her eyes finally closed. Her breathing evened out almost immediately and I was left awake to deal with the aftermath the conversation caused in me.

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

***The author you are trying to reach is currently hiding beneath her desk. Please leave a review and she will get right back to you.***

**Love it? Hate it? Questions, comments, concerns? I should have added a purple elephant named Giggleburg who has a British accent? I can't know how I'm doing unless you all let me know!**


	13. Major Bromance

**Connor was feeling neglected. I don't know if I forgot to say who won the poll, but C/B/M squeaked by with the win. Anyone ever pop some stitches? It hurts but it won't keep you down long.**

**Chapter 13: Major Bromance**

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

I hated taking drugs of any kind, they always left me feeling groggy and confused the next day. Adding to that confusion were the arms cradling me to a very warm body. I could see the Virgin Mary on my personal heaters neck but that could have been either brother. I knew the _VERITAS_ on one of the hands holding me was all Connor though and I wondered if I'd been so out of it the night before that I remembered falling asleep with the wrong brother.

There was sunlight streaming through the window and when I turned my head to look up at the man holding me I was unsurprised to see he was already awake and looking down at me. He'd shaved sometime in the night and his eyes were striking without the distraction of the beard. There were questions in them, ones I either didn't want to answer or couldn't because I didn't have one. He didn't look like he cared I was practically wrapped around him though, not moving to get himself free.

Neither of us had brought up our conversation from our first night at the house and I had been content to let him think I didn't remember it. After last night though I didn't think I wanted to anymore. They'd all taken care of me, even when I was making it difficult. The brothers especially had gone out of their way for me. Neither had once seemed bothered by my yoyo like dependency, seemingly happy when I asked to stay close and respecting my wishes when I asked for space, never pushing for more than I was willing give. "How long was I out this time?"

I could see the quick flash of disappointment before he answered. "Na long. Just the night an' part of tha mornin'. Murph insisted I stay here with ye while he an' tha others dealt with some of tha dead tha' were getting too close."

It was a relief to hear my memory wasn't totally shot from the night before, I'd been right about which man I'd originally fallen asleep on. And he'd even made sure I woke up with one of them just like I'd asked. _Did he tell him why he wanted him to stay? _"I don't know how to explain anything I've said to you."

I had the satisfaction of getting to see him surprised. It wasn't overly showy, his eyes widened just a bit and I was able to feel his body twitch slightly under me. "Ye don' have ta explain anythin', ye've been through a lot. It only makes sense."

"That, right there, is why I want to **try**. Ya'll have done nothin' but help me." He was already starting to look testy, and he'd opened his mouth ready to interrupt but I beat him to it. "No. Seriously, I'd be long dead without all of you. I remember exactly what I said to you, and to Murphy." Just thinking about last night made me break eye contact. "Everything I said is 100% true. I shouldn'ta said it, or at least not the way I did, but it was still true. I've been left behind and I've been the one ta do the leavin'. My own sister isn't lookin' for me cause she doesn't think I'd survive. She left signs for her husband, tellin' him where she was headed... I know I wasn't Daryl's first survival buddy pick." I could still see his face, crystal clear, screaming at me in that cabin. Yelling about how I just used people for protection, how I'd never make it on my own. I hated the way he said it but I couldn't deny it. I could fend off a few walkers, make do with what little food I'd be able to find on my own, but there was no way I would have lasted long alone like most of our group could have. "Did Murphy tell you why he wanted you to stay?"

We were sitting up now and I'd dragged myself to sit against the wall. At some point Connor had even taken my hand and was making soothing little circles on my palm. I chanced a glance up to his face and there was a sadness there, not pity, just an empathy that nearly brought me to tears. "He didn'. Just said tha' if I wasn' here when ye woke up he'd find creative things ta shoot off me."

The fact he'd kept what I said a secret was both a blessing and a curse. I could trust anything I told them wouldn't be repeated, but now I was left to not only say it again but to also explain it. "He asked ya to stay because I told him I was afraid ya'll weren't real. That I'd wake back up and be bleeding out under **him** again." His eye's narrowed and the circles on my palm stopped for just a second. At least I wouldn't have to elaborate on who "**him**" was. "I was so sure there were still good people and then they just grabbed me... I started thinking maybe I was wrong... And then ya'll showed up." He squeezed my hand and I gave him the best smile I could. "I just kept thinkin' it was too good to be true ya know? Right when I needed someone the most and ya'll just pop outta no-where. The last thing I remember thinking was _at least I can die without having to worry about what's gonna happen to my body_... I didn't think I was gonna wake up..."

"But ye did. If it takes us stickin' a little closer in tha mornin's tha's no hardship."

"I'm through bein' tough though. It's exhausting and not workin' out for me very well anyway. I just didn't want ya'll thinkin' I was useless... or using ya..."

He dropped my hand and before I could register the hollow feeling it left behind he had my face cradled in his hands. He forced me to look up, straight into his eyes. There was fury there and a determination. "**No one** thinks they're bein' used. An' **no one** thinks yer useless. Yer fuckin' hurt fer Christ's sake, tha' fuck nearly gutted ye! Yer tha only reason we tried fer tha' store an' now we won' have ta stop again till Atlanta. Ye've cooked fer us, real food. We haven' eaten real food in months. Do ye have any idea what tha' meant ta us? And if yer sister couldn' see how tough ye are then we'll just have ta find 'er and show 'er."

I couldn't have looked away if I tried. The sheer conviction and belief in his eyes held me and I wanted so badly to believe everything he'd just said. Weeks spent alongside Daryl, seeing just how much I slowed him down and learning just how un-self-sufficient I was in comparison had beat me down more than I wanted to admit. He'd never repeated anything he'd said the night we burned down the cabin, but he didn't have to; I was living it first-hand. When I'd finally started to pick up all the things he was teaching me, I'd been nearly ecstatic with relief, not for myself but because I didn't feel like I was as much of a burden. He never told me I was, but there were nights I'd wake up to take shift and find him looking at me, lost in thought. His eyes always said it all, he was trying to keep me alive but he was constantly on guard for the day he couldn't stop the inevitable. The day he'd be too slow and I'd die and he'd be alone.

The only way I could describe the way Connor was looking at me was fierce. For the first time since the fall of the prison I didn't feel the overwhelming need to prove myself, to prove I could contribute. In every line of his body, from the burning resolve in his eyes to the strength of his hands on my face, carefully controlled but unmistakable and just beneath the surface, he believed every word he said. They'd each told me numerous times now I wouldn't be left behind, but this was the first time I truly believed it beyond a doubt. My smile felt more real than any I'd given in a long while. "I believe you…I don't know whether I should say I'm sorry for bein' stubborn or thank you for putting up with it."

His hands left my face but he draped one of his arms across my shoulders and leaned against the wall with me, smiling happily. "I'll make ye a deal. I didn' tell Murph about our little conversation, an' he didn' tell me about yers. Ye tell 'im what ye told me, get 'im ta calm down a bit, an' we're even."

Even just being with them for a week I already knew Connor was the more level headed brother. Actually talking to Murphy, completely clear headed, was about as appealing as shaving my head. After they'd each kept my confidence though it only seemed fair that talked to both and not leave it on Connor to explain my jumbled thoughts to his brother. "Deal. Can I tape his mouth shut first though?" I had a feeling that was going to be the only way I'd get a word in after bringing the topic up.

Connors laugh wasn't what I was aiming for, I'd been serious, but it was nice to hear. It was almost strange to be around people who laughed so easily after being alone with the quiet redneck for so long. Sure Daryl'd laugh but it wasn't often and never as seemingly unrestrained. The whole group managed to find joy amongst each other and weren't shy about showing it.

Looking at the man now was eye opening. His eyes were closed and there were tiny laugh lines around them, his face was lean but unmistakably masculine, made up of sharp lines that seemed softer as he laughed. His hair was much shorter now and spiked up in a sort of fluffy way that had me wanting to run my fingers through it to see if it was as soft as it looked. He'd left a thin line of hair along his jaw that seemed to complete his look. He was what my best friend in school would have called "dangerously attractive". The kind of good looking that would have you doing stupid things you would normally swear you'd never do.

A lot of the night before was fuzzy for me, but walking in on Murphy while he'd been showering was clear as day. I'd knocked a few times before working up the nerve to crack the door to check that he was ok. There wasn't a shower curtain left in the room and certainly no steam to conceal anything. I'd followed all of my father's rules growing up, even after the world died around us. I hadn't had my first drink until after his death even. But the internet was a big place with a lot of porn that popped up even with the most innocent of searches so I wasn't completely unaware of what a good looking man looked like naked. Murphy had put all of those men to shame. What was supposed to be a quick peek had turned into stunned staring. The water literally rippled against his muscles, his shorter hair was shaggy and slick with soap, and when he'd raised his arms to scrub it out I must have made some kind of noise. His eyes cut to me and he made no move to cover up, a large grin on his face. He'd teased me and if I'd had a fraction of Maggie's self-confident attitude I might have taken him up on his ludicrous offer. As I didn't, I was left stumbling over my words and completely incapable of even looking in his direction when he'd joined us in the kitchen.

_Maybe I'da been better off if they didn't shave._ At least with all that extra hair it helped cover up how drop dead gorgeous they both were. _And I'm the smart one who just signed away any right to sleep alone. _Hindsight was 20/20 in this case. If I was having trouble controlling myself around them before, I had a feeling waking up snuggled up to either of them wasn't going to help. "I'm glad you think it's funny, I was serious. If he cuts me off I'll never get to the point."

He continued to chuckle a bit, but it wasn't the nearly full belly laugh it was before. "Ye can' mean ta tell me after tha' show with Rome ye don' know a few tears'll shut 'im up right quick?"

I had the decency to blush at the reminder. It had just felt so natural with the excitable man, like joking around with an older brother again. "He did kinda have a point about it bein' cheating though. That was just in fun, I don't want either of ya'll to feel like I don't appreciate everything ya've done. I don't take it ya keep secrets from each other often but you just told me ya weren't talking about what I said-."

"I did na say tha'. We talked, just na specifics."

It took me a second to figure out what that meant and I was surprised to find I was happy they'd talked about me. "That actually makes me feel a bit better. Any idiot can see all of ya'll are close but you two are practically a cliché."

"Oh?"

He made it sound like a question and I looked up and looked him right in his freakishly compelling eyes when I answered. "How did Romeo put it? Freaky Jedi twin mind tricks? It takes a lot to get that way with someone. Ya'll are like the biggest twin cliché ever. The two halves of a whole thing. Even when ya do talk ya switch between languages so fast I gave up tryin' to even figure out what you were speaking."

His eyes never left mine and if we were in one of those cheesy romance novels Maggie kept sneaking into the prison I'd say his eyes were dancing or some other such nonsense. "Tha' so? Ye don' seem ta care as much as Rome an' Duff."

"Probably because I don't. Rick and Daryl, heck even Glenn, all had some major bromance thing goin' on. Maggie and Carol would always complain they never needed to talk, I was just happy they didn't want to play "King of the Group" and get us all killed tryin' ta out man each other."

"King of tha… Where do ye get this stuff?"

That actually caused me to laugh. He looked like he couldn't decide if what I said was funny or crazy and the expression it left behind was one of those "Kodak" moments. "I read a lot. I was in charge of the kids for the most part. I'd keep them busy doin' crafts and other stuff and both Carol and I would read to the younger ones. We were livin' in a prison though and at first there weren't a whole lotta "age appropriate" things, but those helped pass the nights well enough. And what? You've never played King of the Mountain?"

It was only because I'd yet to stop looking up at him that I caught the barely there blush and flustered look that lasted less than a second before a wicked looking smile replaced it. "Well I've played a **version**, but I don' think we're talkin' about tha same game."

It took a second for his implication to register and I'm sure my face was on fire as soon as it did. Watching him laugh at me I decided I was going to have to get used to this kind of thing, quick. I wasn't a prude even on my worst day, but hearing him talk about something so sexual wasn't helping the butterflies trying to choke me anytime I looked at him now. "Haha very funny. I'm gonna have to start watchin' what I say around ya'll. You make it way too easy to turn it around on me."

He was quiet for a minute, just looking down at me with a strange combination of confusion and seriousness. "Yer a strange girl, Beth."

_Seriously!? _"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Since Boston got abandoned tha women have been… I suppose regressing would fit. Girls who used ta come out ta tha bar and joke an' have a good time, plenty fine ta be doin' things on their own, just fell apart. They were jumpin' at shadows, never even wantin' ta be near tha door when we'd leave. If there was blood on one a us when we came back tha panic was just ridiculous. An' these women were spared tha worst of it all." His face was like a glacier, cold and hard, his eyes, just a moment ago warm and happy, were frosty now. "It's one a tha reasons we've acted like we have. They conditioned us ta just take care of 'em. We didn' fight it but maybe we didn' see how bad it'd gotten… Yer story is full a horrible things happenin' ta you and yers, just even tha way we found ye." I didn't think he was seeing me as I was in front of him anymore. His whole body was held stiff and the fingers around my arm were tightening with every word, it was the closest any of them had come to hurting me and I didn't think he even noticed he was doing it. "But yer different. Those girls, they woulda used this ta lay up or get a extra helping. Ye weren't jus' mad when I gave ye more, ye were insulted." His accent was getting thicker the longer he talked and I could feel the vibration of it in his chest.

"I don't know how quick things got bad up north, but it was like one day everything was normal and the next everyone was dead down here. There wasn't time to do anythin' but hide and pray. The army tried but it was all too late. Ya either pulled your fair share or ya wound up dead… We had it good at the farm, the swamp surroundin' us was like a natural trap, they couldn't get to us before we saw them. We weren't prepared to be on the road when we had ta run, we woulda died if Rick didn't step up. And at the prison there were just so many of us who couldn't help themselves that everyone who could had to work even harder. It was just how things were. I don't want anyone doin' anythin' for me I wouldn't do myself. I just wasn't allowed to do much…"

Daryl's voice was back in my head. "_Ya were good at wha'cha did, it just don't make a shit out here. Who gives a damn if ya know how to cook the squirrel if ya can't catch the damn thing yourself?"_ When I'd walked out of the camp that first time I'd believed, totally, that I could handle myself no matter what. Less than a week with the quiet hunter and I knew every skill I had was totally dependent on someone else. I'd been afraid learning from the man would just drive him away, but he'd been surprisingly patient, always willing to answer any question I had, sacrificing time and energy he could have spent hunting for real.

"Daryl was teaching me new things, how to hunt and stuff. He said I thought outside the box." The compliment had been massively awkward for the poor man to give but it still made me smile whenever I thought back to it. I was even sure under all that dirt he was blushing.

The grip on my arm had lessened as I talked, and his expression wasn't quite as rigid, though he was still very tense. "Yer vague when ye mention him."

"He's a private kinda guy. As much as I like ya'll I'd feel like I was betraying his trust if I told ya his life's story. He…was the best of us. If ya needed help he was there. He never asked for anything back, except maybe a smoke. He could have left me to die at the prison, but he didn't. He could have left me to get myself killed when I walked outta camp. He put himself between me and a herd…" I could feel the pressure of the tears pressing against my closed eyes but my mental Daryl wasn't having it. "_What the hell!? Weren't __**you**__ the one sayin' I was gonna be the last one standing? If I ain't dead what you got to be cryin' about?"_ It took me a few deep breaths , and counting to ten a couple dozen times, but I was able to get control before the tears fell. "Daryl was my friend, he was family. Do I really have to say anythin' else?"

The rest of the tension seemed to have drained from him and the arm across my shoulder no longer felt like a steel bar. His eyes were softer and less aggressive and his smile felt honest. "No. I suppose tha' is all tha' needs ta be said. I hope we can help ye find 'im."

The tears came rushing back at his sweet statement and I forced them back again. "Even if I never see him again I know he's still out there, survivin'. It's just what he does. I know Maggie got out, and Bob and Sasha. Just knowing that gives me peace, ya know?" I felt childish and silly sharing that. It was something I never bothered to bring up with Daryl after we'd seen the first bloody sign next to a Terminus map. The blood was obviously old and Daryl was always so pragmatic, I didn't want to hear how it was more likely they'd already moved on even if they were still alive.

Before he could answer though there was a slam from downstairs and a short whistle to let us know it was the rest of them coming back. Connor hesitated for a moment before looking back down at me, seemingly coming to some kind of decision. "I know exactly how ye feel. Tha last radio call we got from Dolly an' Smecker are all we have ta tell us they're alive. Even knowin' Atlanta an' tha CDC are dead ends we're all holdin' on ta tha' last call hopin' they got out. We all just need ta have faith we'll find everyone. Murph an' I already talked about stayin' ta help ye look fer yer family. I don't doubt Duffy and Rome'll be feelin' tha same. Now. Would ye like ta go downstairs ta hear tha idiots brag about who killed more shit?"

It was like he could flip a switch in his brain. When he'd started, he was back to being serious, although not as aggressively as before, and then he just jumped straight into the lighthearted tone I'd grown accustomed to. I could switch gears pretty quick but keeping up with the brothers was a whole new level of mental Ping-Pong. "I'm sure it'd be more interesting for them if they had someone to brag to who wasn't there to call bullshit."

My knee jerk reaction to his smile probably would have had me swooning stupidly if I hadn't already been sitting down. _Thank God for small favors._ The man was dangerous with that amazingly handsome, nearly care free, smile. "Two choices. I can carry ye, _**or**_, ye can take it slow an' just use me like a crutch."

I tried to glare at his obvious attempt to make light of my need to walk on my own but ended up laughing at the mock serious look he was giving me. "Just to make up for lost pampering I should tell ya to carry me."

"Bridal or piggyback?"

He didn't even stop to think before asking. I was laughing even harder and having to remind myself to be careful of my new stitches. "It was a _joke!_"

His smile never left and he just held his arms out to me. "Every pretty girl deserves ta be pampered."

_What have I gotten myself into?_ I knew I was blushing and wished I had a tan to help cover it. No one had ever said anything like that to me before and I was reminded again of Maggie's secret stash of Harlequin novels. "I can't do piggyback or I could pull something again."

I was up in the air before I was even finished. He picked me up like I weighed nothing and even made a show of swinging me around a bit. "Bridal it is. Ye remember our deal, right?"

I nodded that I did and laughed when he bounced me in his arms a bit. "Maybe I should have made ye eat extra helpin's. Yer like air!"

"I have finally achieved what every woman ever to live has strived for then! If the internet still existed I could make a fortune!"

The short ride down the stairs was filled with each of us joking back and forth and for the first time in a long time I felt completely relaxed and content. These men were good, they were sweet, and they weren't going to leave. Life hadn't looked this promising in months.

_**~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD**_

**Sorry no 10k word chapter this time. I hope everyone enjoyed it all… I am also serisouly trying to figure out a way to put Giggleburg in somehow. Do I get a cookie if I can do it? So Beth's not gonna be putting up a fight anymore, yay!.. Things are going a bit to smoothly. There's got to be a monkey wrench somewhere right?**

**Reviews make me smile and feel guilty for making people wait for the new chapter. Still trying to reach 20. Can I make it this time?**


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